Tuesday, January 15, 2008

MSN Love Confessions

Pat: K, I need girl advice.

Kris: Well shit, why are you coming to me?

Pat: You're a girl and you're the closest thing to a boy of any girl I know.

Kris: Uh... thanks?

Pat: It's a good thing, it means you'll tell me stuff in ways that I'll actually understand.

Kris: Otay. Dear Abby is here for you. Give 'er.

Pat: Alright... so... what the HELL do you girls WANT?

Kris: In general? Ponies, diamonds, rich old men who are ready to croak, fun socks, boyfriends who hold hands, pretty lipsticks, and shiny hair. Are you friggin' kidding?

Pat: Lol seriously. Jenn is always mad, and I don't know what I do to make her mad. What does she want from me?

Kris: Jenn is a girl's girl. She wants girly things. Pay lots of attention to her, tell her she's pretty (but only if you mean it), and stop becoming a douchebag when you drink, cuz it makes her cry. I've seen it.

Pat: Oh shit. It's true. I'm horrible.

Kris: Yep. As one of your guy friends, let me tell you... you've got a sweet girl with a damn fine ass. If she makes you happy, you need to wanna make her happy. It's pretty simple.

Pat: Kris, I'm in love with her. How'd that happen?

Kris: Cuz she made you fall on your ass and think differently about life. It's lovely. I'm happy for ya. :)

Pat: I can't screw it up. I'm gonna make her happy.

Kris: You damn well better.

Pat: So... fun socks and shiny hair?

Kris: Don't forget the ponies. Never forget the ponies.

(Grammar and puncuation FULLY edited by Kristen Goetz. Why can't boys spell?)


Anonymous said...

Do all your guys friends come to you?

I had almost this exact conversation with you once. Maybe you should write an advice book for men cause god knows you have helped me about a million times.

Kris said...

Yeah. I'm everyone's Mom, you know how it is. I WISH it was just the guys. Heh.

And yes, we did have this conversation. I was very happy to see you in love. Everyone should be.

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