Last night, while I was out, one of my buddies said to me:
"It's awesome how you can be completely comfortable standing in the middle of a group, with everyone's attention on you. You entertain and it doesn't faze you."
I guess. I hadn't noticed until that moment.
Truth be told, while it's true that I'm often the loud-mouthed group conversationalist, a lot of my time is spent as a watcher.
I stand on the sidelines and just observe people.
It's amazing what you can learn about a person by just paying attention, even if they're complete strangers.
I watch the couple in the corner, and wonder if the girl has any clue that her boyfriend is ass-over-teakettle in love with her, while he seems to solely be a passing fancy in her mind.
I watch the group of frat boys, sharing tales of sexual exploits and bar brawls. The guy in the hat isn't comfortable with the conversation, and nervously fidgets. His eyes dart away from his 'friends' as though searching for a way out.
I watch my own friends. And sometimes that's the worst.
I see my girl grasping at a failing relationship with a guy who so obviously only wants to be her friend.
I see my other friend making a desperate play for another friend's man.
I see a good buddy look heart-achingly sad and try to mask it with bravado and fake cheer. Should I tell him that I've been there, that I KNOW?
That's the thing about being the observer.
You can't talk about it; you can only watch.