Saturday, January 12, 2008

You Keep This Love, Fist, Scar, Break...

Today was the beginning of my sister's wedding preparations.

Bridal Show #1 for me.

Strange.

So much planning, so much craziness, and it's extremely easy to get caught up in it.

I'm happy for her. She deserves a really special day with the man she's still completely smitten with. Even after 11 years.

And since she won't force a pink dress on me, I can't complain either.

My speech will ruin the poor girl. I should start writing; I only have a year to perfect it.

It was odd to see all the BTB's (Brides To Be) who were younger than me.

Especially the ones I actually knew.

I can't imagine being married at 24 or younger. And yet so many girls I know are married with kids already.

"Congratulations on your engagement. When's the happy day?" was the phrase I heard over and over.

Um, no. Not me. Her.

It's insane to think of how I once had marriage plans. Down to our ages, wedding size, type, and the songs.

Oh, the songs.

It shows how immature I am; I see that now.

I get starry-eyed and stop listening to the logical voice in my head that says "This will never work, and you know it."

I still want to be married. I still want all the things I ever did.
But I want to be sure.
When I say vows, I want 'em to stick.
When I have kids, I want them to know that Mom & Dad are a lifetime fixture.
The problem is..
If I've fooled myself before, how am I supposed to know when it IS right?
I dunno... I'm not psychic, man.

2 comments:

Ann B. said...

You'll know. Or you'll figure out what is best.
You very well might just have to take a chance.

Kris said...

Yeah. That's what I'm thinkin'.

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