Wednesday, February 20, 2008

He Stole My Heart... And My Wallet.

Dear boys and girls,

This is my PSA to anyone who is a dumbass like me, and may one day possibly allow their wallet to be lost or stolen at a bar.

Take these steps to prevent such a thing from occuring, or to make the experience less of a pain in the ass should it happen:

- Leave your cards at home. Bring ID, maybe a bank card. You probably won't need your birth certificate or S.I.N. card to get beer. Honestly. I wouldn't lie about obtaining beer.

- Fanny packs are gonna be in fashion real soon. No one loses anything in a fanny pack. Do yourself a favour, and get a bright green one. Maybe wear a pair of those biker shorts with the neon stripe for effect. Don't forget the Vuarnet shirt. It's a must.

- Girls, keep everything in your bra. Forget the wallet. This does not apply if your bra will likely end up on the floor of a random stranger's house. Good girls only.

- Don't be an idiot like me and cram your whole life into a mid-sized bag. Do the math, it just won't fit. Something's gotta give, and in my case it was the wallet.

So take my advice, people. Only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Er... wallet loss.

Thank you.


Dubbs said...

Vuarnet and biker shorts? Fucking right, Kris.

Kris10 said...

I'll do it. I swear I will.

Maybe I'll add a plastic visor into the mix. Yes?

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