Monday, March 10, 2008

Sell Me Down The River


Hello.

My name is Kristen.

My turn ons are: cheesecake, gel pens with comfort grip, and Bob Villa.

My turns offs are: plates lacking cheesecake, improper spelling, and Fergie.

I'm looking for someone who will pay me to sit and make sarcastic remarks all day long.

Those with sarcasm fetishes are welcome; I don't judge.

Touching is not permissible - the boyfriend would not allow this, and he bites.

Trust me.

If interested, please e-mail me and express what level of sarcasm you prefer.

Insults and rants are also available for an extra fee.

I look forward to hearing from you.

51 comments:

Mike D. said...

Shit kris, i'd hire you. But I get your sarcastic comments and insults for free.

Kris10 said...

Yep.

No one's gonna buy this cow cuz I've been givin' the milk for free.

Hm. That doesn't sound so good.

ghetto.punk.chick said...

I would enjoy a high level of sarcasm....and you misspelled Bob Vila...one "L". I know cuz Uncle Uterus used to have a man crush on him.

Kris10 said...

Pretty funny that my turn off is improper spelling, since I spelled Bob's name wrong prior to that sentence.

Yarrr...

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