Perspective is a funny thing.
It astounds me how a small incident, one seemingly insignificant occurrence, can change it. Or sometimes it's a person that does.
For me, I find that new people in my life change my thoughts about past people; past people come back and change my perspective about new ones. It's like a cycle of worlds colliding that leaves me stuck in the present, confused and questioning.
Last night was shaping up to be another rotation in the cycle, but it turned out quite different.
I ran into someone from my past, someone who was so important to me that they consumed my world for years. They gave me some of the happiest times in my life, as well as some of the most painful. It made me sad to talk to him and remember that we were once so positive that we'd be each other's future - we had no question about it. And now we are the past, and rightfully so.
I have to say I was also relieved. Realizing that I have no regrets or residual feelings for him was liberating in a way. I've never been good at moving on, and this time I have entirely.
At the same time, it was bittersweet. Recollecting about how fully we were immersed in each other before and knowing how we are now, I question how long it'll be before I lose faith entirely. Maybe nothing truly works out.
Seeing the same demons in him that caused our failure, I appreciate my current relationship further. Being sad about past 'definites' that turned into 'impossibles' can't keep me from trying again. It usually would, but I refuse to allow that.
In the end, it's all about perspective. I'm thankful for that, at least.