Friday, June 27, 2008

Jailbreak

This poem was written about me awhile back.

I'm omitting the writer's name, as they may or may not want it publicly posted.

So if this entry suddenly disappears - you know why.


Bright color sits trapped in her cell.
Beams of beautiful safety shine far away to weary and lost souls sailing in the void beyond the rusted bars that keep her in the dark.

Sitting, self imposed incarceration, beauty does not see what has washed upon her shores.

Gasping, laughing, and alive he clears the salt from his eyes and gazes skywards to the Beacon that kept him alive in the storm.

Soon, says he, I will offer a proper showing of gratitude.
But not now I beg.
Now, let me bask in a light a thousand vivid colors deep.
Let me soak in that which gives me hope.

All alone she sits.


Reading it now, it makes me happy and sad. It makes me think. And wonder.

Do I still sit all alone?

Or have I broken free of the rusted bars?

Sometimes I'm just not sure.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I Paint A Picture Of The Days Gone By


It's well-documented and well-known that I have a hard time getting rid of anything. Ever.

To some people it's amusing, others it's annoying - I don't blame em.

Some items I keep just for the sake of keeping. The old "you never know when you might need this" rings true for me. Other things I can't bring myself to give up because they have some kind of meaning to me; they serve as a reminder of a person, place, or thing that I want to remember.

Lately I've been forcing myself to let go a bit, and realize that some of these things are indeed just "things". They have no real purpose for me any longer, and should have no place cluttering up my life.

But in some ways, I will not budge. Not even an inch. Because aside from clutter, I also keep a lifetime of photos, message histories, and old e-mails. It may sound crazy, but yesterday I was reminded of why I do it.

Old pictures show you your life. Who has been there, and who didn't last. Random times that you smiled even when you might not have wanted to. How you have changed, and maybe how you haven't.

So I keep them.

E-mails and messages from vital people in my life, for me, can go deeper. It's no different than keeping letters from a lover or close friend. Reading over some yesterday, I found that they have the power to make me cry, laugh, and fall in love all over again.

And that's a feeling I refuse to get rid of.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Wherever I May Roam...

Man, I suck at updating lately. Sorry. Again.

As per usual, I've been carting myself back & forth from Toronto to St. Catharines like some kind of nomad. Whether I have multiple homes or no home, I've yet to figure out.

So last week I was in Toronto until Friday. On Thursday, the man comes home from work and we decide to go shopping, and possibly a quick beer after.

Do not trust this face. He is lying.

Somehow the "quick beer at the Steer" turned into "drinking til 6am at Jeff's".

They know alcohol is the way to my heart.

Lovely boys, they are.

When drinking with hockey boys, I suppose it is inevitable that hockey fighting becomes a worthy topic of discussion.

So much so that ya just gotta go through the motions.

I present to you Exclaim! Hockey League Fighting 101:


No one wins. You both lose and go home with hangovers and a lack of sleep.

Especially Craig, who had to go to work after sleeping for only an hour.

Friggin' champ, that one is.

Wine lips and drunk eyes - that must mean it's photo op time!

Sportin' our soccer jerseys. Craig representin' France and me showing my German colours.

Walking around Parkdale, we're liable to get our asses served to us by the Portuguese fans.

Stay tuned for further updates, including proof that I was actually in St. Catharines for once.

I shit you not.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Spanish Inquisition


Job interviews are scary as shit.

Eek.

While I'm scared of a lotta things, impending job interviews have a way of making me insanely jittery. Which is dumb, because I've only ever had one interview that didn't end with a job offer.

But still. 2 hours til my interview, and I'm in slight panic mode.

It might explain the horribly bad nightmare I had last night that caused me to scream myself awake.

Nah. That dream was much worse than any interview could be.

My apologies to my sleep-mates last night. Craig, Jack, Booey - je m'excuse.

Kristen's just a liiittle crazy these days.


Oh, and all those other days too.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Like Freaks of a Feather, We Rock Together

For those of you who know me, or even those who just read my blog, you know my friends are a hugely important part of my life. Each of them has affected me differently, and they're all integral pieces of who I am. I love them all.

So leaving them is just tough.

Unfortunately, it's gotten harder.


A few reactions to me moving away have been hard for me to handle. I understand where everyone is coming from, really I do. But it doesn't make it simple in the slightest.

Some are now starting to pull away from me. It makes me want to scream "I haven't moved yet!". Because I'm not in the same vicinity, does that automatically erase our friendship? If that's the case, then it tells me we weren't really that close to begin with. My best friend lives in London; she's still my best chick.

Take note, people.

There are also a few people that seem to resent the fact that I'm leaving, as though it has a great deal to do with them.


Well, my apologies. It doesn't. I'm moving on, and moving away from The St. Catharines Rut. It has nothing to do with anyone but myself (well.. maybe a bit to do with Craig, too).


So to anyone who is taking offense to the fact that I'm jumpin' ship - don't. It's ok to miss me, but support would be appreciated too. Be glad for me like I'd be happy for you in return.


And that brings me to another bunch of friends I have.

The people who get it. They understand what I'm doing, and WHY I have to do it. They've told me how sad they are to see me go, but they are behind me completely. Those people, I thank.

I suggest everyone adopts this way of looking at the situation, and soon. The clock is ticking; there isn't much time left.

And then what?

Remember who your friends are.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Le Update

Finally I can move around my house.

And even better, I can LEAVE!

Man, it was hard to exist without access to a kitchen. Especially when you're food addicted, as I sadly am. That means it's officially Gettin' Fat Time for Kristen. I'll take deep fried anything right now, with an extra order of fat and grease.

On a sidenote...

While going through more of my crap today, I came across something else that the boyfriend may deem breakup-worthy.

My Archie comic book collection that has been growing since I was about 5.

Think it'll be a problem?

Yeah. I'm definitely asking for singledom. Sigh.

Screw it, I need food asap. I'll worry later.

Confessions of a Self-Admitted Pack Rat - Part Deux

The Purge & Pack days continue....

(And by purge, I mean throwing things out, not throwing things up.)

I have nothing else to blog about, because this is my life right now.

My vast collection of hair products, which is actually only 3/4 of what it was a week ago.

I was ordered to get rid of almost all of it.

If I was to become suddenly single, this picture right here tells you why.

Fret not, Craig. I got rid of a hell of a lot more.

I know I have a problem, I'm not afraid to say it.

My beloved Deftones.

Yes, I still have a poster.

I got this when I was 16, from the friend who gave me backstage passes to meet them. Thanks, Joel.

Into the garbage it goes, unfortunately.

The boxes are taking over my bedroom, and my life. Not to mention the rest of the craziness that is happening in my house at the moment.

The kitchen is being renovated, and right now there are people here putting in new floor. I'm blocked off from the house, save for the bedrooms and a bathroom. Not even an exit.

I'm claustrophobic. I may jump out a window.

We'll just have to see.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Gone Daddy, Gone

Oh, blog.

I have forsaken you.

I apologize for my neglect, but I haven't been home.

I went back up to Toronto to dog-sit for the boyfriend, and brought my cousin along.

Those few days pretty much looked like this:

With a little of that:

And then more of this:

But, of course, there was one drunken night which resulted in a late night swing session at the park. We had to leave when I was decidedly creeped out by the dark emptiness of the park at 3am.

I'm a wuss.
And then I took Leah home, and drove right back to Toronto.

The boy came back from the business trip, so I spent a couple days with him.

Now I'm home. No, seriously. I really am in St. Catharines this time.

Last night I went out with my girlies for the first time in a couple weeks, and my best chick came home from London for the night. Gotta love that girl when she's drunk and loses all tact. She'll say anything.
Frizziness in pictures may be worse than it appears.

Or not.

Disgusting heat = disgusting girl.

Look away.
I am not proud to say that I had my own Fat Girl Platter, and did not split it as I normally would.

See? This is what happens in St. Catharines.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Summertime Blah

Guess Who + Samuel L = Fun times.

So, it's hot out. Real hot.

Weather like this makes me weird. Summer is my favourite time of year, but when I'm at home during a really hot day I get into a strange mood. I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, and start to feel nervous and insecure.

It's hard to explain.

I've always been like this. It's because the beginning of warm weather reminds me of bad times from when I was little and as I grew older. Memories that stay with you until they're hazy and sneak attack your whole body when you're ill prepared for it.

I want this feeling gone. I want to enjoy my favourite time without wanting to curl up in a ball.

But instead of curling up in a ball, I'm gonna drive to Toronto yet again... and that will hopefully shake this feeling away.

Hopefully.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Speak To Me, And Don't Speak Softly

It's been awhile.

I'm home from Toronto for only a day, so I guess it's time for an update.

The following pictures sum up the majority of my last 5 days.








Yep. They don't say much.

On Thurs we hit the Raconteurs concert at the Kool Haus. Great show, seriously. I may love my metal, but those dudes are awesome live.

But, of course, there was the pre-concert party with copious amount of booze. Plus the expected show beers. And then after the show, we had to hit a bar for further copious amounts of booze.

When me and the boyfriend woke up the next morning, we didn't know where we were. Gracias to Marek for letting us crash in his living room even if we didn't know we were doing it.

Needless to say, the next day my body did not like me in the slightest. Drinking for 12 hours straight is sometimes not the best idea.

So Friday was a bust.

Saturday we spent in the sun, walking the poor overheated dog, and then heading to Kensington Market (my first venture there). I dug it. I bought little red shoes that look like picnic blankets cuz my other shoes were attacking my feet, and Craig got me a cute t-shirt.

Just before 6am today I made my way back to St. Catharines. But only for a day.

Tomorrow I'm heading back up with my cousin to dog-sit for Craig and do some fun shit. I dunno WHAT fun shit, but it'll be fun shit nonetheless.

This boring ramble was brought to you by the letter K, and the number 9.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Gain Shirt, Lose Male Friends

I'm gonna be honest here.

I don't really watch much hockey. I'll watch the odd Leafs game with boyfriends and buddies, but other than that?

Nope.

But the boyfriend bought me this vintage jersey (as explained in a previous post) and, at his request, I put up a picture of me wearing it since they played yesterday.

And now I'm receiving non-stop messages and comments about it. Hockey fans are CRAZY. And I've now made enemies.

John - your pic is retarded hot, but I hate the Wings and I want the Penguins so you fail! ;)

Marc - wow... too bad its not the Canadiens.

Jeff - sweet jeebus!! they ain't winning tonite!

Jonny - You know I love the Wings, my dear. Thats a funky vintage .... but you actually look sober in the picture. Shocking.

Ash - Your hair is so blonde now! Oh and nice shirt. What team is that? Oh, my boyfriend says they suck. Sorry.

Dan - Kris, you're usually a smart chick. But you picked a shit team. How can we be friends? We can't, that's how.

Gary - (just for the record this is probably the only time a wings jersey has ever gotten my attention, and will likely be the last, as it does still look hot!) Craig is indeed a lucky man LOL!Go Pens!!

Wayne - I concur that this is probably the ONLY time that a Red Wings jersey will ever get my attention.... in word... DAYUM! You done good Mr. Gagnon... you done good. Hey Kristen! lol...

Craig - :)

and the winner...

Mike - Dearest Kristen,

You know I have always loved you, the sun rose and set on your face. You were the most wonderful and beautiful person I ever knew. But I am afraid I can never speak to you again as you have ripped my heart out with your GODDAMN WINGS JERSEY!

Please understand. I will look back on you fondly.

Mike

P.S. - RED WINGS? SERIOUSLY? WHAT THE FUCK! You bitch. :)


Friggin' Pens fans. I now have no friends.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Kickin' My Junk - A Story of Pictures

The majority of my weekend was spent going through everything I own, and trashing (or donating) half of it in preparation for the upcoming move.

I am the biggest pack rat in the world; always have been. Getting rid of things is torture for me.

3 bags of clothes went to the Salvation Army on Saturday, yet I still don't feel like I got rid of any. That's saying a lot, since I don't own the usual amount of clothes that most chicks do.

Anyways.

These pictures chronicle my Sunday afternoon/evening.

I found out that I own boxes of letters and notes from elementary school and high school. I remember why I kept them however, after laughing my ass off while reading a few.

But now they're gone.

Ah, the drawn on textbook covers. Yes, I kept that too. There were some pretty funny comments on it.

Gone now.

Never quite got this thing figured out.

So I kept it. There's still hope for me.

The first (and only) stuffed animal I ever made when I was young.

I only gave him one ear. Don't ask me why.

Keeping it.

The Melodica. Or, "Mouth Piano" as I call it.

I can still play "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". Don't be jealous.

It's a keeper.

I own a HARMONICA?!?!?!

Killer.

With my guitar, Melodica, and Harmonica, I'm gonna be the coolest (read: dumbest) band ever!

It stays.
Aw.

My old baseball coach used to make us books every year.

This is little me.

This is bigger little me. #9.

Can't throw em out.

Tapes.

I still like em.

My collection has dwindled, but still remains.

Even better?

Mixed tapes.

The majority being from big seester Blepharisma.

Old-school Hit Parader mag anyone?

Or a Rolling Stone from '94?

Hi Trent.

You're being recycled now. Sorry.

Aptly titled, I think.

Not pictured : 4 bags of garbage, 4 bags and one big box of stuff for the Salvation Army, and one recycling bin full of things I'm getting rid of.

Sorry to have bored you... but if you knew me, you'd mark this day in history.

Sigh.
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