Thursday, July 31, 2008
~ I just paid my first ticket EVER. Surprising that it wasn't for speeding. Nope, it was a badass parking ticket. Lame.
~ Went to see Shakespeare in the Park last weekend. It was really good. The boyfriend was lying in my lap the whole time, and was entertained enough to stay awake. If that's not a shining review, I don't know what is.
~ I'm looking forward to seeing many of my St. Catharines crew at the Rancid concert on Sunday, followed by an overnight visit from Leah and her new sweetheart of a boyfriend. Too bad the rest of this weekend will be so busy that I may sleep through their stay. Bah.
~ Recently I watched 'Lars and the Real Girl'. If I say that I wasn't uber impressed, is someone going to hurt me? Cuz I'll lie if I must. Ah, screw it... beat me. It didn't live up to the hype. Sorry, Gosling. We're still cool, right?
~ Can you tell that I am bored and have nothing of interest to say? Oh... It's ok. You can answer me when you wake up.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I'm specific. I get hooked on one, and will wear almost nothing else.
It's just my luck that they ALWAYS get discontinued.
So, for the past few years, I've been wearing one that I finally found and liked after my other one was, you guessed it, discontinued.
I'm usually a vanilla chick. But not just any vanilla. I'm picky as hell.
I went to buy my stuff, and found out they aren't making it anymore. Go figure.
On the website, they had them on clearance. So I bought 6.
They finally came in today; low and behold they're TINY.
See how small they are compared to the crap on my desk?
I now have a collection of perfumes for toddlers.
Time to start the exhaustive search for a new daily scent. It's gonna get ugly.
For the first time in a loooong time (long as in, my memory won't even TRY to go back that far. Blame the beer), I went three days without a cigarette.
Big deal, right?
Well, no. It's not really. I'm not a full-time "gotta-have-a-smoke-every-hour-or-else-my-lungs-will-remember-what-it's-like-to-be-healthy-again-and-I'll-have-nothing-to-complain-about" kinda chick.
If I'm drinking I'll smoke more than I should, to be sure. But on a regular day I may have one. Two if ya went and pissed me off. Tsk, tsk. Why would ya do that?
So for three whole days I did not partake in even a puff of my carcinogenic friend. That includes time spent in my backyard, dog walks, and bouts of sheer boredom. Such willpower; I am made of STEEL.
Maybe not. But it's a step.
Today.... will be a different story. Sue me.
Monday, July 28, 2008
"Joey" by concrete Blonde has always been one of my favourite songs. It's so completely different from my usual metal or classic rock tunes, but it far surpasses most of them in terms of importance to me.
I fell in love with it at a young age - I would sing it while out on my swing, or in front of the mirror in my bedroom. I didn't quite understand what the song was about, even though I knew every single lyric.
Growing up, it began to make sense. And then practically living it drove the meaning home.
It's about a woman whose other half is an alcoholic lout. He spends all of their money on booze, whatever substance suits his need each night, and paying off gambling debts (I assume). He's the kind of guy a woman shouldn't bother to love, and yet... well, we've all heard the stories:
"Joey, baby - dont get crazy
Detours. fences... I get defensive
I know youve heard it all before
So I dont say it anymore
I just stand by and watch you
Fight your secret war.
Although I used to wonder why -
I used to cry till I was dry.
Still sometimes I get a strange pain inside
Oh, joey, if youre hurting so am I."
She's fully aware of his major flaws, it kills her and she knows she should leave him. But she thinks she can somehow help him; that he'll somehow change. Delusions that, in most cases, are a waste of time and pain:
I got the money
All is forgiven.
"And if I seem to be confused,
I didn't mean to be with you.
And when you said I scared you,
Well, I guess you scared me too.
But if it's love you're looking for,
Then I can give a little more.
And if you're somewhere drunk and
passed out on the floor.
Oh Joey, I'm not angry anymore."
A past relationship made this song real for me.
Although the meaning is more than clear now and I can no longer be naive about the storyline, I still love the song. For the adult who went through the emotional rollercoasters and heartache, and for the little girl singing into a hairbrush in front of her mirror.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
a smile on my lips,
and bounce in my hair,
it's because I am now
Never underestimate the infinite importance of a good showerhead.
For four weeks I've been living with a shower that was sadly lacking. As far as I've ever known, shampoo is not supposed to cling to your hair for dear life and refuse to take the trip down the drain.
But a hero has come to save me and my rinsing needs. And this hero comes with multiple spray options and a lovely chrome finish.
This is my life people. Make fun of me if you must; I won't hear you over the spray.
Friday, July 25, 2008
I know, I know... it's not really a big deal. But it's still fairly strange to me. Part of my brain is still convinced that this is an extended visit. Y'know, the kind where you pay rent, bring everything you own, and change your address.
The oddest thing of all, at least in my mind, is what it was like to actually go back home. Because in a matter of two weeks, it already stopped feeling like home. The dynamic has changed, and it's probable that I have too.
There are certain times where I feel completely at ease, and like I belong wherever I am. In St. Catharines, it's when I'm with my friends and we're all laughs, smiles, and genuine friendship. It's also sitting and having a normal conversation with my Mom or Dad. In Toronto, it's lying awake in bed before falling asleep, with my hand in my boyfriend's and talking in whispers. Or when I'm surrounded by the few people I know here and they treat me like they've known me forever.
Small things are the hugest to me.
I look forward to the day when I'll feel like this place is mine, this city is mine, and that this confusing whirlwind of an unexpected life is mine.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Started out with the boyfriend taking me out for an awesome dinner.
I ate things I've never eaten before.
Betcha didn't think that was possible.
And for once, I don't mean that in any type of dirty way.
Afterwards, we went out for drinks with some lovely people.
A gift from Laura. Worn with pride. And drunkness.
She is my Lloyd Dobler.
Monday, July 21, 2008
And it was a good one.
As you'd all expect, there will be a stupidly large picture-filled post about it soon.
But right now I'm not feelin' it.
Instead, I'm posting some recent-ish videos of my "adopted son" and his daily antics.
It's ok if they bore you. You'll watch em anyways.
Friday, July 18, 2008
I'm sure it surprises no one that it'll take place at my home away from home - Mansion House.
If it's anything like last year.... wow. No one will be spared from the over-consumption of liquified hops, barley, and other booze-related beverages.
So join me in the celebration of my youth becoming further and further away in my proverbial rearview mirror.
Good times guaranteed. Or your money back.
Negative, jaded, and doubting. I've lost faith in most things, especially in the belief that good people still exist. I'm fairly certain that the world is a self-centered, narcissistic place where most of the inhabitants do not genuinely care about the well being of others.
But I've learned that there are exceptions.
Yesterday, on the way back to Toronto from St. Catharines, my car died. Stalled, stopped, died - whatever. Wasn't moving. I was stuck on the side of the QEW, pretty much smack in the middle of my two homes. I called my Dad for help, cuz that's my knee-jerk reaction.
While talking to him, a lady stopped behind me and offered help. She stayed as I figured out what to do, and gave any advice she could. She said she didn't want to leave me alone there, in case someone came by and tried to steal me.
Once my car could start and my Dad convinced me to come back to St. Cath, the lady got in her car and literally STOPPED three lanes of traffic for me so I could get over to the exit that was right in front of me. She followed me off the highway and pointed to the on-ramp to take me back home.
I regret now that I didn't get her name, I only know she is from Milton. She helped a complete stranger just because she wanted to. She said she does it all the time.
Thank you, whoever you are.
You made this negative girl see that some people really are just intrinsically good.
I truly hope your good deeds are given back to you ten-fold.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Nor does she have a landline,
A kitchen table,
Or a job.
But she has a boyfriend who sometimes loves her lots,
A dog who sometimes cuddles her just right,
A cat who is sometimes awake and purring,
And a feeling sometimes that things are gonna be just fine.
That's alright by her.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
I'm sure you all waited with bated breath, right?
The day of the move, me and my parentals.
We are still unable to all keep our eyes open at the same time.
I wonder what word could possibly be coming out of my mouth right there...
It just so happened that the day we moved, the boy also had a quick wedding to attend in Niagara.
(Congrats, Adam and Erin!)
I'm allowed to think he's not entirely horrible looking.
Fillin' up at the gas station with all my worldly posessions in the back.
Also fillin' up at the gas station, please note the ice cream bars.
Because THAT, my friends, is how we roll.
After the move, instead of staring at our piles of crap all night, we headed to Rob and Shari's new digs for some pops.
Said pops possibly made my tongue change colour.
I'm happy to report that there is some semblance of an actual functioning apartment now.
Monday, July 14, 2008
The pictures are piling up; stories will soon be forgotten.
But my brain is just not up to it.
Instead I'm sitting here, inexplicably sad, confused, and anxious.
The blues are back.
And while I'm confused about "why now?", I should probably be honest with myself.
There's a list of reasons.
But some are completely beyond my control, and others are decisions I've made. So it's too late.
Fixing this could mean changing everything.
Ignoring it means changing me.
Excuse me while I go crawl in a hole for awhile.
No need to thank me for the happy, uplifting post. You're welcome.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Here's a filler post to satisfy your Goetzy needs until my computer is up and running and I can access my own pics.
Cuz in case you didn't know.... this bitch is now a Toronto resident.
The move this past week has been a bit crazy, coupled with my own comp having no home, so there's my excuse for the neglect.
It's ok though. You still love me.
The 5 year-old in me will never stop loving swings.
Stress-relief, stress-forget and stress-release extraordinaire.
For a split second, you're an anti-gravity hero.
Descend only briefly, and then you're right back on top of the world.
So if you see me on one, let me be.
You wouldn't want to ruin this insane happy.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
For those who don't know, every year in St. Catharines they hold the SCENE Music Festival.
Pretty much every bar in the downtown core participates, and bands from all over Canada come and perform.
It adds up to 13 hours of live music and craploads of people.
So, of course, I went.
I was the Sober Sally, driving my drunkies home.
They also have booths set up at Market Square, which holds band merch and other music-affiliated businesses who set up shop.
My friends clothing company, Pause Designs, had a booth. I used their sticker logo on my ass to drum up further business. People asked me about it, so I assume it worked.
Del Asher's set - I tried to get a good picture of Julian's awesome dreads. Didn't work out great.
I don't have many band pics, cuz it was just too difficult.