"I know someday you'll have a beautiful life,
I know you'll be a star
In somebody else's sky
But why can't it be mine?"
A fairly obvious quote, to be sure. But there are reasons that it is important to me.
When I ended things with an ex long ago, he said something very similar to me. And I knew he meant it. He cared about me so much that he wanted me to be happy in my life, and find the person I am truly meant to be with. But at the same time, he wished so badly for it to be him.
This broke my heart. To this day, it still does.
Over the years, I've become less sure that we actually find "the one". I desperately hope that it does exist, but I haven't any proof of it. At different points in my life, I thought I had just that. But maybe the reason I believed it so much was because I wanted it so badly that I was willing to be oblivious. I don't think I am anymore.
All I truly ever want is to be "the star in someone's sky". And maybe I am... but maybe I'm not.
Are we ever actually loved the full and complete way we want to be?Maybe true love isn't a fairytale full of utter happiness and sweet words. Maybe it's accepting that nothing is perfect and being content with what you have; taking all the bad with whatever good you receive.
I don't know.
It might just be that I'm over-thinking on a lazy Saturday afternoon in St. Catharines.