Friday, October 31, 2008

The Obligatory Pumpkin Picture Post

Wednesday night me and the boy hunkered down in our white trash t-shirts and carved our three pumpkins.

(Yeah, I said 'hunkered down'. So?)



Never give your boyfriend a sharp knife and then proceed to mock him incessantly.

Heed my advice.



We started with the big pumpkin, and turned him into an angry Jack Skellington.



Pumpkin guts.

Jack was all over it.

Er, Jack the dog. Not Skellington.



"I am the Pumpkin King!!!!"



"I am.... some chick with a piece of paper taped to my head. WoooOOooo!!"



A look inside the brain of a smaller pumpkin.

The gross crap all over me really brings out my hand modelling abilities.



First finished product.



Please turn the lights back on, someone's touching me.

Oh. Sorry, Craig.




Messy, messy, messsssy...



The littlest pumpkin that I drew stupidly. It looks like a kindergarten-er did it.

My immense talent exceeds that of a two-year old. It's fitting of a 3 year-old.

Whutever. More pics later.

Happy Halloween, ya freaks!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Snootchie Bootchie Porno Movie

I remember the first time I saw Mallrats. I was kinda young, and my sister and her friend rented it with me and we watched it in our basement. My mom got pissed because of the swearing and sex-talk - she didn't want me watching it due to my impressionable age. Riiiiiight....

Too bad. I watched it anyways. And loved it.

Thus began my journey into Kevin Smith's movies.

Some I liked better than others (dig Clerks and Dogma, J&SB Strike Back not so much), but I'll always give him a chance. And now he's got a new one that is giving me ideas.



Zack & Mimi Make A Porno is about two friends (Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks) who are deep in debt and decide to make a porno, cuz hey - sex makes money! Of course they end up having feelings for each other, but that's besides the point I'm making here.

Kevin Smith is trying to tell me something. Who has debt? I do! Who needs quick cash? I do!

He's quite the financial advisor. Giving me advice through new hit movies.



Gosh.

Thanks, Mr. Smith.

You're so gnarly.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Bye Bye, Mon Cowboy...

So today was the boy's first day at his new job.

This puts an end to "extended couple quality time", or ECQT as it is now known.

During the time that we were both home together all day every day, many people asked me: "Are you sick of each other yet? Do you hate him yet? Are you pulling your hair out yet?"

Nope.

I kinda dig him.

I liked having him around. Don't be shocked.

And now I'm left talking to the dog all day, yet again, and singing loudly to songs I may or may not have made up.

Sigh.

Oh well. Bottom line? He's gonna kick ass at this job. And eventually I will also find an ass to kick employment-wise.

But still....

Somebody misses you, Craig.

:)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

After 25 years, I'm pretty certain that I've found my achilles heel.

I'm a beer chick. I like beer. Lots. In fact, I like lots of beer lots. Ok? And I tend to be able to drink copious amounts of it without too much of a bad effect the next day. Usually.

I should stick to what I know.

In the past year I've started drinking wine here and there. I was never able to before because it gave me such bad migraines. But hey, not so bad anymore! The problem now? Wine = Uber Drunk Chick.

So it seems that lately I must stop and ask myself "Hey! How could I make this problem worse for myself?" And, being the genius that I am, I found a way.

Wine + beer + whatever else = HolyJesusThisHangoverMayKillMeAndIfItDoesn'tCanYouJustShootMe?

Yep.

Welcome to Sunday.

I may have even found a way to make it worse than that.

I haven't been smoking much at all lately, so when I do (i.e. - when I'm drinking) I feel like ass.

So there ya go kids.

Don't drink, don't smoke, stay home at night, do your homework, avoid all profanity, and go to church every single day.... this is my advice.



Phhht. Yeah, ok.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Guh.

Looking for good Halloween costumes is pissing me off.






That is all.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Canuck Rock

Last night we hit the Casby's at the Kool Haus with Rob and Shari.

The bands that played were: Die Mannequin, U.S.S., Tokyo Police Club, Neverending White Lights, City & Colour, Bedouin Soundclash, and Sloan.

It was a last-minute thing, and unfortunately I had no camera since my battery was dead.

So instead, here is a picture of me & Miss Mindy at a different show at the Kool Haus, complete with spilled beer on me - compliments of strangers.

Back to the topic at hand.

I've never had much interest in the Casby's, I'll be honest. But this year was apparently the best one yet, and I had a good time.

We hung out in the VIP backstage area afterward, and then to the hotel room of the members of the Neverending White Lights. Really nice guys. They didn't even kick me out after I repeated over and over that I was going to audition to be their new drummer. They embraced my stupidness.

And of course, I have no pictures of said hotel party.

Thanks to the magic of random friends on Facebook, I found a picture from the event sort of showing that I was there (behind the blonde guy in the black hat and his lovely lady - that's Rob and Shari- there's Craig and I) . It was during Sloan's set, which was particularly interesting because lead singer, Chris Murphy, is on Craig's hockey team and Craig had never seen them play before.

An interesting way to spend the anniversary of our first date.

Band dudes, beers, and swanky hotel rooms.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Shut Yer Hole

Seems I neglected to report a story on here.

My bad.

So Sunday night, as usual, the boy goes across the street to play some shinny hockey. I tend to take this time to watch girly shows and take over the couch.

Half hour after he leaves, he comes back in the door.

There's a green towel up against his mouth and the first thing he says is "Uhh... you gotta take me to the hospital."

Being the concerned girlfriend I am, I freak out a little.

Seems he got a puck to the mouth and it was completely split open with a lovely hole to the other side. Blood everywhere. Yum.

And so, to the hospital we went.

5.5 hours later, he was stitched up and sent home. (But not before all the crazies got in to see the Doc before him).

Fancy.

Don't look so surprised, ya goon!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Stumbled Upon

I found this while randomly stumbling about the interweb.

It's good for a larf.


An educator friend of mine forwarded me this gem via email.


How would you pronounce this student’s name: “Le-a”?

Leah? NO
Lee - A? NOPE
Lay - a? NO WAY
Lei? Guess Again.

It’s pronounced “Ledasha.” Oh, yes, you read it right. This child attends a school in Livingston Parish, LA. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. If you see something come across your desk like this, please remember to pronounce it correctly.

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, “The dash don’t be silent.”

Monday, October 20, 2008

Battle Prattle

Today folks, we have a guest post from the Superjudgiest ex-blogger ever.

Craig, the forum is yours:

“If ignorance is bliss, then knock the smile off my face”

Zach De La Rocha, 1992

One of my all time favourite lyrics, no wait, it is my favourite lyric!!! When it came out, I was certain I knew what it meant. RATM wined, dined and 69’d the left side of my adolescent brain with their first album. I think at some point or another there are many who would agree to have had the same experience growing up through high school, college, and while wading though our rebellious 20’s trying to nail down our moral identities. Signing petitions to save the world, help the weak and undermine the man that was a nice little mandate to have. Then came the Battle in Seattle.

I bring this up after having the luxury of seeing the trailer for the new Stuart Townsend flick “Battle in Seattle”, a film loosely based upon the ultra Leftist documentary called “This is what Democracy looks like”. I remember clearly the anger, hate, happiness and relief we all felt when that little party went down. 40,000 people strong headed to Washington state, the city of Seattle, and staged what we all came to understand as the most successful protest of that magnitude to ever have been staged. Protesters stood up against the Seattle police force and the National Guard and made their message known to the world, “we will not stand for the WTO, or its policies, and we will unite against you”. They got it all on tape; they put all the tape together, and then came the documentary, which I really, REALLY liked. So now we have a movie to see, a movie that from what I have read is both accurate, and inaccurate, depending upon who you ask.

Are we awake? Is Zach right when he screams” Wake up” at us in all of his concerts? Is Zack even awake?

I always assumed that the general public was asleep. Not literally, but more, the reality that most people existed in was more like the slumber of a flock of sheep. Hardly an original thought, but hey, anything repeated over and over by so many people, so detached from each other must have a bit of substance. The reality of the whole “battle in Seattle” may never truly be known if you ask me. Sure we can all see what’s there in front of us, cleverly edited for effect. We can all hear what they are telling us on the romantic and powerful albums we listen to, and the shows we see. We can rest assured that our morality remains intact we woke up in 1992, some of our parents woke up in 69 for crying out loud. Except, I think it’s a bit too easy.

When the editing is done by Protesters its called truth, when it’s done by the government it’s called fascism. I wonder if there will ever be a middle ground. Perhaps the new movie, “The battle in Seattle” will come through and provide that for me. Optimism has always been a strong point for me, no matter how small the odds, and methinks the odds small on this one. Whatever the outcome, I get to watch Woody, Mizz. Theron, Pacey and Dexter’s sister roll around in tear gas, which alone will be worth the cash I hope.

You know, I don’t mind being told to wake up, I’m glad De La Rocha kicked me in my ass when I was younger, however in my more relaxed and wise adult state, I tend to have a response;

“I’m wide awake, I’m wide awake, I’m not sleeping”

Bono

1984

Bob & Doug Mckenzie, Ed Grimley, Guy Cabalerro - Here's To You.

Growing up, I loved watching SCTV.

For those that don't know, it's Second City Television - a great Canadian comedy show, using people that performed on the Second City stage.

Now that I live in Toronto, I NEED to go see a live show at the Second City downtown on Mercer St. I've always meant to, it just seems to slip my mind a lot.

So, I took a look at what's playing.

Um, yeah.

Barack to the Future looks entertaining, and stars Marty Adams, who is in the new Saw movie. It's also features some other pretty acclaimed comedians, as per usual Second City standards. This show makes fun of pretty much everything, as far as I can tell.

The site even states - "With a worldwide recession, global climate change and a daily litany of political disasters, Toronto could use a good laugh."

True enough.

The feedback from viewers is good and according to this review in the Star, it's damn funny.

In other words, I gotta go see it.

Is Marty Adams the next John Candy?

I guess we'll find out.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Now, What The Heck Is A Hammy Sink?



Does anyone else remember Al TV?

I suppose only you Canadian readers might, and even then - you might not.

Weird Al would take over Much Music for a few hours and play a bunch of interviews that were edited to look like he did 'em.

When I was little, this was funny. The Ozzy interview was the one that stuck in my head most.

Watch it.

If you know me, you'll now see why I always say "Lippy, lipey, or pipey sinking", and "What the heck is a hammy sink?"

I TOLD ya I didn't make those words up.


However, I have no excuses for the other wonky words I say. S'ok.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Take A Look, It's In A Book

Yikes.

I randomly came across my old LiveJournal account, and it's pretty funny - to me, anyways.

I wasn't much of a poster. Here's my LJ post from December 2004 dedicated to a childhood hero of mine.

Dear Levar Burton,

I love you, and I enjoy your Reading Rainbow. I also enjoyed you as Jordy LaForge because you wore a fun eye-thing. I'm partial to fun eye-things, and I'm sad that I don't own one. Recently I found out that you were a part of the 80's group Cameo, and you sang "Word Up". I find that interesting. You are a man of many colours, much like your rainbow of reading. I will never forget when you went to a noodle-making place and learned how to make tortellini. Oh, how the bending of pasta around bits of cheese caught my interest. And made me hungry. I'll never forget that tortellini episode. I don't remember the stories very well... but the pasta shall never be forgotten.

Your bestest friend,

Me

p.s.- Where are you now? I hope you're making royalties off of Korn's re-make of your song. Buy some tortellini with it.


I failed to mention that he also played Kunta Kinte in the movie/mini-series Roots, but whatever.

I still dig ya, LVB.

Word up.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Just Call Me Webster


Growing up, I was always commended on my ability to be articulate and well-spoken.

Plus I'm a word chick, so conversations are no problem, right?

Right. Usually.

But sometimes outta nowhere, especially if I'm feeling slightly uncomfortable or as though I don't belong somewhere, I will spew out non-existent words like a fool.

A couple of days ago, I was talking to an acquaintance. I can't even really remember what we were talking about, just shootin' the shit, and he made a comment that had something to do with a hockey team or person doing the same thing as another.

Now this person does not make me nervous. Not even uncomfortable.

But for some reason, my answer to him got jumbled up in my brain and my reply was,

"Yeah...uh.... Fob."

Fob?

What is a fob?

Your guess is as good as mine.

Luckily I mumbled it quietly enough that he had no idea.

Sigh.

No one should let me out of the asylum, no matter what WHAT I bribe ya.

*edit* I lied, the word was actually fop. Oops.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Warning - Boring For Non-Dog Folk

When we picked up Jack from his fun stay in the Beaches, we managed to kidnap another dog for a few days.

Sarah's dog, Madison. Older than Jack, but faster, tougher, and calmer. I'm fairly certain that Craig loves her more than anything in the world.

We may not give her back.

Got home, took em to the dog park.

Maddie dominated Jack in every way.

S'ok. He'll catch the ball one day.




Matching hangovers and wonkeyfaced from sleeping on a floor.

Coupledom at its best.

That's my boy - cute as shit.

Such a great dog she is.


One pic says it all.

Crazy Jack.

Madison ready to run.

Craig - horizontal.

Yeah, it's a normal day...


Today when we took the dogs to the park again, there was a 5-year old in his pj's that developed an obsession with the dogs.

Did our work for us.

Thanks, kid.

Dammit, now I want a chick dog.

So much for my former dog-fearing self.

I am a convert.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Patch Things Up

Saturday afternoon we took the drive from Parkdale to Peterborough for the Patch Cup hockey tournament.

Beautiful drive - reminds me of how much I miss going up north every year.

This tournament is a once-a-year thing, where new teams are created and they play for one day.

Craig was on the Stu Live Crew team.

Hence the "Parental Advisory" patches on the jerseys.

No, your eyes haven't misled ya.

They all have F. Martinez on the back.

Google it.




Between games we played with Jacob and Mackenzie, two cute jack russells that Suzanne and Mike brought with them.

We left Jack in the beaches for a night instead of bringing him. He would've gone nuts, and guess who'd be left to deal with that?

Peterborough is the home of Sebastian Bach.

This arena has a lot to do with his family - his brother played on the local team (The Petes) and his Dad painted this portrait of the queen that is hung over the ice.

No Sebastian sightings were had.

Meh.


The Patch Cup - which his team did not win.

Whuteva.

Bar time!

Craig and Nick - Nick hurt Craig during the second game and messed up Craig's knee.

Craig did not play the next game.

Craig was not happy.

Craig no longer wants to kill Nick, however.

Or does he?

End of the night.

We crashed on the floor of Jeff & Claire's hotel room.

That's Craig on the phone with the front desk, drunkenly asking for extra pillows and blankets. Pretty sure he used his phone sex voice. I'm also pretty sure the guy on the other end of the line liked it.

Happy Turkey Day, Canadian readers.

Happy...um... Sunday, other readers.
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