Everyone, this is Jeff.
You may remember him from such posts as The Harper One, The Drinking One, The Other Drinking One, and The One About That Dude Going To Beijing For Some Olympic-y Thing
He's very special to me and Craig.
But lately, he feels unloved by us. And so, this post is to prove that to be untrue.
Remember all the good times, Jeff?
Remember when we 'drank til 6am' that 'one time'?
Remember watching Mitch Hedberg on YouTube for hours, and then repeating it all for weeks after? "Bag em up"? "I'm FOR 'em"?
Remember Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp?
Remember our day dates, when we'd go do stuff 'n junk and you'd show me places 'n stuff and we'd look at crap and things?
You can't forget that.
Without you, I wouldn't know as much of Gilbert Gottfried's goodness. Or the 20 million random jokes you've taught me. Or what it's like to almost throw someone's Blackberry in a hotel toilet accidentally on purpose while he's sleeping in the next room.
I also wouldn't have the two Klosterman books that I borrowed from you and have yet to return. ... oh, right. I um, still have your books.
Anyways.... you get what I'm saying.
The love has not wavered, my dear chimp.
Nay, it has only grown.
Even your bigshot hockey night in Canada-ness is not enough to scare THIS broad away.
Come back to us.
"K" (aka - Leggy leggy leggy leggy, blondie blondie blondie blondie)
p.s. - John Bland has been spreading his propaganda and lies. Don't believe it. And he owes me a banana.