If I were to speak to myself from a year or two ago, I wonder how it would pan out. Pretty sure I'd hate the bitch.
For shits & giggles (or yawns and boredom), allow me to guess how that conversation would go.
Older Kris vs. Younger Kris:
Younger Kris - Hey.
Older Kris - Hello.
YK - You go out last night?
OK - Nope. Fell asleep watching the Raptor game with Craig.
YK - Holy crap. What time did you get up?
OK - Just after 6am, I guess.
YK - You're insane. When was the last time you were out all night?
OK - Can't remember. A few weeks ago. Maybe. Maybe not.
YK - What the hell happened to you? Where'd this chick go?
OK - That's you. And you look like an idiot. Your shirt is too small.
YK - Ok, Grandma. I'll go get you a cardigan. This this is what I become?
OK- What's wrong with that?
YK- You look dead. Remember being fun? Like this birthday that you hardly remember?
OK - Yeah. I out-drank a small country. And I'm still fun.
YK- Yeah, sounds like it. Hey, how's that new guy you're dating? The way older one that everyone's giving you shit about?
OK - Craig? We live together. No one gives me shit about him anymore. The age thing has long blown over.
YK - Ah. You're all domesticated. Do you still have friends at least?
OK - You really are a bitch. Yes, I still have friends. Those ones just live back home.
YK - Of course. Hey... old lady... Remember when people liked you? And thought you were funny?
OK - Judging from this conversation with you, I see I wasn't so funny after all. I was apparently just unable to make normal faces in pictures.
YK - Yeah. Now everything is about your dogs and boyfriend and boring shit no one cares about.
OK - Grow up.
YK - No thanks....
Hey. Do ya want a beer?
OK - Yes. Yes I do.
YK - Aw, maybe you didn't change too much after all.
OK - Nope... Maybe not.