Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Stinkbutt & Me

Last night, C and I watched 'Marley & Me'.

Aside from the boy's general disdain for all things Aniston, and our uneducated guesses about how many times Owen Wilson must've broken his nose to get it to look like that, we managed to enjoy some points of the movie.

Mainly the dog.

By the end, we (yes, both of us) were bawling like babies. Complete and utter tearjerker for anyone who has had a pet before, currently has a pet, or is not a human form of Satan and renting sad movies for the sheer joy of watching things die.

So afterward, in our sappy and emotional states, we each grabbed a dog to show it some love. With Daisy in my arms, I hugged her tight and blubberingly told her that I loved her, she was beautiful, etc, etc...

It was at this moment that she decided to Stinkbutt on my favourite yoga pants. Touching, really.

I suppose I should backtrack, as most of you don't know what I'm referring to. A warning for Too Much Doggy Information should be in effect as well.

I never knew what Stinkbutt was until we got this chick dog, so bear with me.

Basically, small dogs can have impacted anal glands. This causes a buildup of what I now call "Stinkbutt". Said Stinkbutt can get released at any time to ease the buildup - In Daisy's case, whenever it's least convenient for us. And it is the single worst smell I've ever had to endure. Stings the nostrils, it does.

Ugh.

Sorry - end of Canine Ass Lessons.

Point of this gross story, is that after watching this movie about a dog who was hard to live with, then crying my eyes out and wanting to hold onto my own baby dog, she picks this loving moment to spray a little Stinkbutt my way. By "my way", I of course mean my lap.

That, my friends, is love.

Perhaps we should disregard this post... I may have just lost all my readers.

11 comments:

Krista said...

My parents dog did that for a long time but not because she was small... because she was being a jerk. Thankfully she grew out of it.

READ THE BOOK, it's fantastic.

Shaz said...

Too be clear... it's just a gas right? Not a release of anything else?

I'm grossing myself out just asking

unsilentmajority said...

I'm weirded out, lol.

Kris said...

Krista - Weird, everything I've read says that they can't help it. Aw, I hope she's not a jerk.

Shaz - Uhh... Sorry to gross you out further, but nope. Small bit of clear liquid. Ew, I might throw up now...

unsilentmajority - Me too. Like I said, let's forget about this one....

ghost said...

used to work with a vet. i know too much about that sort of stuff.

Kris said...

I do now too. Gross.

I'd also like to point out that the Google Ad on my site is now about Pet Anal Glands.

Goddammit....

k said...

Dude, I was eating. Literally, sandwich in hand as I read this post..hand slowly dropping said sandwich back down to plate. Previously enthusiastic chewing slowing down everrrr so slowly. You get the picture. Even contemplating some chocolate chip cookies to complete my gluttony. Now that is not going to happen...damn.

The Unfortunate Soul said...

You oughtta try having it squirt into your open mouth while trying to drain it yourself!
Not very tasty!

Kris said...

K - I'm sorry. Next time I'll try to encourage hunger, not make you naseous.

As for YOU, 'Unfortunate Soul'.... stay away from MY dog. Yeah. MINE.

:)

Mike D. said...

Sandy gets that too. I feel for you.

Kris said...

How old is Sandy now?

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