Friday, July 31, 2009


Are you guys ready for Story Time With Kris?

Too bad. You're getting one anyways.

A couple of years back, me and my cousin Leah (the lovely lady I am pictured with above) were getting ready to hit the bars. For the life of me I cannot remember why, probably because we have wonky conversations daily, but Leah let me know that her ankles we very smooth that evening. She was wearing a skirt, so her smooth ankles were showcased.

Fast-forward to later on that night. A few wobbly pops under our belts, we headed to the ladies room. Leah went into the stall right beside me so, for a laugh, I decided to reach under our shared stall wall.

"Oooh, such smooth ankles," I said, while rubbing the ankle closest to me. Laughing, I left the stall, and Leah left hers. 2 stalls down.

She hadn't been beside me. I felt up a strange woman's ankles.

Oddly enough, the woman didn't say a word about it. I wonder if perhaps she enjoyed the experience.

In that case - to the unknown lady that I felt up - you're welcome.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Baby's Got The Bends

Welcome to the re-cap of my weekend.

After a Friday night of drinking with Neil, we spent our Saturday in King City, painting a friend's offices.

But beforehand, I felt the need to dance around my unfinished living room to some form of metal tunes.

That said and done, we were off.

Prior to painting we tried on the merchandise. Namely, this gray hat.


It's not workin' for either of us.

Pretty good view while painting, I must admit.

Gave the hat another shot. Still... no.

The paint splatter on my shirt oddly resembled the devil horn hand sign. Ya think?

On Sunday, the plan was to go to the beach. But Mother Nature in conjunction with tan-o-phobes conspired against me, and it poured rain all bloody day. Flooded the damn streets.

No beach.

So me and Les Pets bummed around.

This was at about 11am. Awesome weather.

And then the CN tower disappeared. Was it terrorists? Nope. Weather.

... and so it was a dog day, and not a beach day.

Just to bore you further, I've posted a video.

Let's hope next weekend is more eventful.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Keep It In Your Pants, Fella

Reading some old blog posts, I felt the need to re-post this one.

Still makes me sick, and it still goes on (even though I live and work in the gay village).

Share some thoughts, lemme know how you feel about it.

Friday, July 24, 2009

When Darkness Falls - A Story Of.. Well... Nothing

This past Saturday, we spent the day at Patrick and Shaun's, while Craig painted part of their loft.

That night, they took us out to O. Noir for dinner.

If you don't know, O. Noir is a "dine in the dark" restaurant. You eat in complete darkness, and your servers are blind. There's one of these restaurants in all the major cities right now.

I thought "Oh, that's kinda quirky. You must just see shadows and things."

And so we went.

Allow me to show you EXACTLY what you see in the dining room:


Friggin' nothing.

You can't make out shapes, shadows, outlines... NADA.

So we were led to our table and they sat us down. Immediately I started hyperventilating a bit. I'm claustrophobic, and it felt as though I was in a coffin.

"Guys... I don't think I can do this" was the only thing I could say. I was super shaky and on the verge of tears. I didn't think I could breathe. Craig felt around and grabbed my hand to steady me and calm me down.

Needless to say, I stuck it out.

By the end, I was chair dancing. You know the saying "dance like no one is watching"? Well... no one was.

The entire meal took 2 hours, but only felt like one to me. Craig said he felt every single slow minute of it, and it was torturous.

An interesting experience, that's for sure.

For another take on the same night, read here.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

When You're THIS Old... They Call You Kristen.

So, this past weekend was my birthday.

I turned 26.

Here is a brief picture collage of things or people that may have somehow been involved in the aforementioned day of birth.

Tomorrow -
The one thing I did on my birthday weekend that scared the shit outta me.
Stay tuned.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Blame It On The Satellite That Beams Me Home

It has been brought to my attention that, while I have posted on the blawg since my slight hiatus, I haven't really updated.

So here it is. An Update Of Kristen's Life O' Boring Craziness.

(Just a warning *ahem Will*. It'll probably be long and over-pictured. Deal.)

- As most of you know, we moved downtown on June 1st. This is what my balcony now faces. At night the view is pretty nice, and we're thankful for our many windows.

- Jack and Daisy are doing quite well, thanks for asking. They're still little nutbars that make me crazy, but I love the buggers to death. Oh, and they're in love. For realz.

- I'm not posting any pictures of the new place until we paint it. I'm prepared for major bickering and hostility between C and I, but the end result will be worth it. Hopefully.

- Of course, Toronto Pride happened last month. As we work at the gay & lesbian radio station, Craig and I were present. Have I ever told you guys how much I love free beer?

These are the very few pics I have:

It was fun. Yay.

- We've managed to make ONE trip to the beach thus far. I'm not letting it be like other summers when I only make a solo trip. Who wants to go soon? Yeah. you do.

- In case you were wondering, yes I DO still like to take wonky photos that make no sense and subject my friends to the fun. I also like to drink, obviously.

- We're keeping busy as much as we can, and trying to see our friends whenever possible. Thanks to the TTC, access to our old 'hood is pretty easy and painless. But I still miss Parkdale.

- That's a tree on a car. Nature can be a spiteful bitch. I wonder what this guy did to deserve it...

All in all, things are good. I'm busy writing commercials, and C is working his ass off. Things are on the upswing.
I'm turning 26 on Sunday. I may not post all weekend cuz I'll be looking for things to do. Is it bad to not give a shit about your own bday?
Prolly not.
Update finis.
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