Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Exes And Oh's

On Sunday we hit The EX.

Used to be a big tradition for me, and made me giddy like schoolgirl.

Here is my way of Ex'in.

The Shambled Guide To Visiting The Ex:

1. Visit the animals that, for some reason or another, remind you of your dogs. Look, there's Daisy! Ohh, wait. Nope. That there be a goat.

2. Force friends and boyfriends to go on uber spinny rides simply because YOU enjoy them. But don't forget to be concerned when they're nauseous and want to die afterward.

Where's Waldo?

3. Embrace the messy hair, cuz honey... there's no avoiding it. Also - try your best not to squish the person beside you. Sometimes that hurts them. But sometimes they like it. Use your best judgement; they will let their feelings be known.

4. When your horrible fear of heights prevents you from going on certain rides, take pictures of your manfriend as he enjoys them....

... because pictures are fun...

... even if they give you contact vertigo.


5. Try not to giggle uncontrollably just because fun lights make you squeal excitedly.

Ah, what the hell. Squeal all ya want. Jump up and down even. Fun lights are... well, fun.

6. Take blurry pictures. They may be a natural end result of the beer you just drank. Cuz beer is a very important part of The Ex. As is the food building.

Beer. Food. Ride. Repeat.

7. On occasion, someone will pressure you to go on a ride that you are TERRIFIED of. In this case, make them go on it first and observe their reaction. Sometimes that makes the situation much worse. They'll still force you on it, though.

But after your initial anxiety attack and desire to be let off the ride, you might have fun. you might scream-laugh in a crazy way and get back on the ride three times. And then your significant other might be proud of you for facing something you were really scared of, and look at you lovehead-edly like you're the only other person in the park.


You might throw up the beer and food you consumed beforehand, swear off rides altogether and leave the park alone, sick and defeated.

Choose your own adventure.


Erin Vale said...

This is excellent. I haven't been in ages. Even when I lived down the street, my hermit lifestyle made it impossible for me to go. To me, the EX meant way too many people on Dufferin, blocking my path to Burger King.

Tiny Tom! Tiny Tom!

Kris said...


Craig is confused by Tiny Tom. He doesn't understand the draw.

And apparently there was a booth with chocolate covered bacon that I didn't see. I'ma hafta go back.

Gage said...

Every year I say I'm going, then every year for some reason or another, I don't. THIS year, for sure!!

Baron Ale said...

The draw is hot, fresh, deep fried dough covered in sugar.

Kris said...

Gage, you should go!

Sharon Stale - Yes. Yes it is.

Anonymous said...

I'm just aghast at the dude on the ride next to Craig that's barefoot. What the hell kind of place is this?

Wil Harrison.com

Danger Owl said...

Par for the course Wil.

It's the EX.

Kris said...

Wil - it's the best way to NOT lose your shoes. That'd be my big worry.

SJ - hope ya tied yer shoes tight!

ghost said...

my vision gets like some of those fuzzy shots after a ride like that.

Kris said...

Yeah, it's like a cheaper way of being drunk.

Anonymous said...

Hey I was at the Ex! On Friday though. So many pretty colors -- and not just the various vomit splashes from those crazy rides.

Kris said...

Didja eat the chocolate covered bacon?

I'm goin back. I'm gonna get some.

Mike D. said...

So which was it, love or sickness?

Kris said...

I don't puke from rides, baby. Nope nope nope.

Ophelia Mourne said...

I named one of my short stories in high school exes and oh's...just noticed lolz

Kris said...

Hahaha... I wouldn't be surprised if I did too.

Anonymous said...

Hello from Russia!
Can I quote a post "No teme" in your blog with the link to you?

Kris said...

Sure, send me the link!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...