Yep. I'm still alive. I've been forcing myself to NOT blog, because I didn't want to vent and post about how sad, depressed and scared I was. I still don't want to post all that, but a wise man told me to use the blog as an outlet. Get everything out. So maybe I will... within reason.
I'm not going to pretend to be happy for the sake of keeping up appearances. I'm not happy. Waking up in the morning is the hardest part, because for a few seconds I forget. And then it all comes back to me. Everything has changed. I won't lie, I'm scared to be alone.
But I'll make the best of it. I promise.
I've been back home in St. Catharines for the past few days in order to clear my head and be around friends and family. It's been good, if not a bit strange. This is the city I grew up in, but I feel like a stranger. And yet, Toronto doesn't quite feel like it's mine either.
Perhaps The Littlest Hobo and I can travel together. Who needs a home? Not us.
For any of you who read my blog before I ever moved outta this place, you may remember my weekly Wasted Wednesdays at my home-away-from-home, Mansion House.
For the first time in the past year and a half, I was back there on a Wednesday. It was good to see friends and familiar faces. That bar doesn't change much, and it shouldn't.
Even if just for a couple of hours, it was a distraction.
After the bar, a couple of us ventured off to get FGPs (Fat Girl Platters, of course...) because no visit with me is complete without one. Unfortunately, the place was closed so we headed to Mcdonalds.
Surely, a Big Mac can make my life feel better? Right?
It was delicious. I admit.
But you wanna know the kicker?
While the three of us sat there, eatin' our fat-infused goodness, the only people in the place (we ate inside).... I heard something that I never in my life expected to hear.
Skid Row was playing over the speakers.
That's right. Skid Row was playing in an empty Mcdonalds at 3 in the morning.
I'd like to think it's Sebastian Bach's way of telling me that I'm going to be ok.
I trust you, your leather chaps, flowing hair, and girl-pretty good looks. Surely you would not steer me wrong.
In Bach I trust.