Friday, January 29, 2010

Answers From Above

Hi.

Yep. I'm still alive. I've been forcing myself to NOT blog, because I didn't want to vent and post about how sad, depressed and scared I was. I still don't want to post all that, but a wise man told me to use the blog as an outlet. Get everything out. So maybe I will... within reason. 

I'm not going to pretend to be happy for the sake of keeping up appearances. I'm not happy. Waking up in the morning is the hardest part, because for a few seconds I forget. And then it all comes back to me. Everything has changed. I won't lie, I'm scared to be alone.

But I'll make the best of it. I promise.


I've been back home in St. Catharines for the past few days in order to clear my head and be around friends and family. It's been good, if not a bit strange. This is the city I grew up in, but I feel like a stranger. And yet, Toronto doesn't quite feel like it's mine either. 

Perhaps The Littlest Hobo and I can travel together. Who needs a home? Not us.



For any of you who read my blog before I ever moved outta this place, you may remember my weekly Wasted Wednesdays at my home-away-from-home, Mansion House.

For the first time in the past year and a half, I was back there on a Wednesday. It was good to see friends and familiar faces. That bar doesn't change much, and it shouldn't.

Even if just for a couple of hours, it was a distraction. 


After the bar, a couple of us ventured off to get FGPs (Fat Girl Platters, of course...) because no visit with me is complete without one. Unfortunately, the place was closed so we headed to Mcdonalds.

Surely, a Big Mac can make my life feel better? Right?


It was delicious. I admit.

But you wanna know the kicker?

While the three of us sat there, eatin' our fat-infused goodness, the only people in the place (we ate inside).... I heard something that I never in my life expected to hear.

Skid Row was playing over the speakers.

That's right. Skid Row was playing in an empty Mcdonalds at 3 in the morning.

I'd like to think it's Sebastian Bach's way of telling me that I'm going to be ok.

Thanks Sebastian. 

I trust you, your leather chaps, flowing hair, and girl-pretty good looks. Surely you would not steer me wrong.



Nah.

In Bach I trust.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Never look Bach, always forward!

VP O' Rock said...

Nice to see our Olympic athletes share my lovely diet.

blepharisma said...

First he sings to Joe, then he sings to you.

All in a night's work for the Baz.

Kris said...

Anon - You're very punny... :)

Vice President Vail - I know, it makes me laugh. I eat like an Olympian!

bleph - Well.. if we wanna be technical... he sang to me first, since it was Wed night.

Just sayin'.

Born with a big mouth! said...

McD's always make me feel better for a minute.

my mornings are hard right now too, so i know how you feel!

Mike D. said...

I still don't believe you. This is an early April Fools joke.

Kris said...

Erin - Wanna move to Canada and be my roommate? :p

Mike - Honestly, buddy. Why do you not believe me? Christ.

Mike D. said...

Sorry. I thought there were wedding bells so I honestly did not beleive you. Hope you're ok.

Kris said...

Nope. Wasn't lying. No wedding bells, my dear. It's all singledom from here on out.

Thanks, D. I'll be ok.

phx said...

I know the feeling of no where feeling quite like home. Toronto wouldn't anymore, even though I was born there; I don't feel any deep connection to Vancouver, and certainly not to Oregon... I don't have any good ol' hometown to come back to, I guess it's just wandering from here on out.

Be good to yourself. You are an incredible, lovely lady. Thinking of you.

Kris said...

Thanks so much, chickie. You're always so very sweet, and I appreciate it.

We're both happy wanderers, I guess!

k said...

It's a vicious thing when years have gone by and it all seemingly and inexplicably goes to hell.
If you wrote that last post, and you were the one who got their heart handed to them upon a stick, I applaud you for your sense of aplomb and dignity. And if you're the one who made the decision ( because in all foundering relationships, inevitably one of us decides to part)..then try to remember to be kind.

Kris said...

k - I guess it was sorta both of us. Complicated, but what isn't?

So I'm tryin' to keep the dignity while also being kind.

Man, that's difficult.

:)

Anonymous said...

How many guys have asked you out already? Do you make them take numbers?

Kris said...

Eek.

ghost said...

i think sabastion sang to me first. im way older than all of you.

Kris said...

Hmmm, maybe not!!?

I do know that he sang to me in the womb, tho. True story.

PatZ said...

Denny's breakfasts also help.

sorry to hear you need the Big Macs.

you should rock some leather pants Ross Gheller style now and see if you can seduce Bach there.

tony said...

LA has a half dozen great burger places: In N Out, Fatburger, Tommy's, Carls Jr., Apple Pan, Jack n the Box, etc just for all the heartbreak that happens here daily. It might also explain all the hair metal

Jetson Stamina said...

Some relationships are a lot like Sebastian Bach. You spend a tremendous amount of time negotiating your way into some tight pants until eventually you're sitting pretty in some size two leathers. Then, everyone compliments you. "What a perfect fit" & "Wow, you two look great together" So there you are, on cloud 9, in this tight fitting leather love fest. You look good. You feel good. Noboby has to tell you... you know it's LOVE.

Lookin like you're smugglen yoyo's and bonded as ONE. Pants and crotch . Man & Woman.

'Till eventually, you get home... and you start to chafe but you think, "Still, we look gooooood, right!?". Then the sweating starts cause your parts can't breath. (You get swalls or swunt depending on your gender.)

Before you know it, you think to yourself "Sebastien, why did you put on these pants. Why are you putting up with saggy dripping balls and rashes and 10 pounds of baby powder? Why Sebastien, Why!"

And it comes to you...

You are staying in these Leather Pants because you are Sebastien Bach and you are defined by your pants. Shit, everyone loves you and your pants together. You don't even know who you are without your glistening leather pants.

So you stay together. Not in love... but content.

You do a reality show with Ted Nugent. You sing in some off- broadway shows. You keep doin' what you do, 'cause everyone wants to be in some pants and yours look good enough. Keep you happy, enough.

Sad really... very sad.


Luckily... you are not in a relationship that looks like Sebastien Bach.

The best thing you can do is get out with fond memories... before the pants get too tight and the rash is all you end up remembering.

Jetson Stamina said...

Some relationships are a lot like Sebastian Bach. You spend a tremendous amount of time negotiating your way into some tight pants until eventually you're sitting pretty in some size two leathers. Then, everyone compliments you. "What a perfect fit" & "Wow, you two look great together" So there you are, on cloud 9, in this tight fitting leather love fest. You look good. You feel good. Noboby has to tell you... you know it's LOVE.

Lookin like you're smugglen yoyo's and bonded as ONE. Pants and crotch . Man & Woman.

'Till eventually, you get home... and you start to chafe but you think, "Still, we look gooooood, right!?". Then the sweating starts cause your parts can't breath. (You get swalls or swunt depending on your gender.)

Before you know it, you think to yourself "Sebastien, why did you put on these pants. Why are you putting up with saggy dripping balls and rashes and 10 pounds of baby powder? Why Sebastien, Why!"

And it comes to you...

You are staying in these Leather Pants because you are Sebastien Bach and you are defined by your pants. Shit, everyone loves you and your pants together. You don't even know who you are without your glistening leather pants.

So you stay together. Not in love... but content.

You do a reality show with Ted Nugent. You sing in some off- broadway shows. You keep doin' what you do, 'cause everyone wants to be in some pants and yours look good enough. Keep you happy, enough.

Sad really... very sad.


Luckily... you are not in a relationship that looks like Sebastien Bach.

The best thing you can do is get out with fond memories... before the pants get too tight and the rash is all you end up remembering.

Kris said...

PatZ - Aw, Ross was my least favourite! But if it would attract the Bach....

Tony - Maybe LA is where I belong???? Hmm...

Jetson - Holy crap. You're hilarious. And you're right, I don't want that damn rash. :)

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