Friday, January 8, 2010

Letters

Dear coffee and chocolate-dipped doughnut,

Partaking in your deliciousness while everyone else at work is on diets and cleanses did not make me feel like a cow, and never will. You are a simple pleasure that brightens my mood. Thanks for the calories - I mean, memories. Same goes to you Big Mac, you delicious beast.





Dear Shaz,

As per your request - picture proof of the aptly nicknamed dirty Creamsicle Boots. Unfortunately, after a quick test, I found out that they do NOT taste anything like Creamsicles.
:(


(Daisy says hi.)



Dear stomach,

We haven't had a good life together. I know that. You tend to disagree with me, and you've never been fond of my eating habits. but the pain you're bringing me lately is just too much. I will NOT allow you to put me in a hospital again. You can't control me. And if I find out that you have decided to start-up a gluten allergy, ohhh... there will be HELL to pay.





Dear Mona Lisa,

I know you're mad. I'm sorry. I do realize that you're one of the most famous paintings ever, and that I should've been happy to have you. But chick, you were HUGE. You would've taken up an entire wall with your bored little eyes following me everywhere. And besides. We already have a girl in our living room. And Modigliani's sucidal ex probably would've stabbed you right in the "Mona Lisa Smile".




Dear Kris,

Yeah. I'm writing to you again. I mean I'm writing to me again. Whatever. Just... make up your mind, ok? Figure out what you want, and get it. Stop treading water like a clueless idiot who is afraid to take chances. You're better than that. I'm better than that. God.

p.s. - You're still a funny jerk sometimes.




Dear Google,

Today I learned something. I don't need you. When Neil and I were racking our brains to remember Kim Catrall's damn name, I FORCED myself to use my head instead of automatically looking to you for help. And y'know what? It came to me. I figured it out on my own. I don't need to Google everything anymore. Not like that guy.... shit, what was his name? With the dark hair... and the face. Yeah. Ugh, I forget his name...

Alright, Google. I'll come back to you. But just this once.





Love to all of you,

Kristen

12 comments:

Masuka said...

You know the Mona Lisa isn't actually that big right? :P

Kris said...

This print of it sure was. Friggin' huge.

Krista said...

Daisy's face poking around in the photos is HILAR!

Shaz said...

(Hi Daisy!)

Dirty Creamsicle is a wicked drink, however the boots... they remind me of space and rockets and the Jetsons

Jibboo said...

they remind me on my own awesome.

Jibboo said...

they remind me on my own awesome.

Kris said...

Krista - Yeah, she doesn't like getting her picture taken, so this was pretty weird. I guess she likes the boots?

Shaz - Awesome. I love the Jetsons!

Jiboo - You posted twice, and I shall leave it as so. And yes. They remind you of your own awesome since you bought em for me last year. Thanks, boy.

ghost said...

i too will not forsake the big mac. we'll just need not to rendevouz quite so often, for my waistline's sake.

Kris said...

Yeah, me too. Because of stomach issues I have, I'm not really supposed to eat that... but I do anyway. It's worth the sickness.

Mike D. said...

Does McDonalds pay you to talk about them so much? They probably should.

kay zee said...

did u watch Scrooged this year?
My bf loves that mooooovie

Kris said...

Mike - Nope, but that would be friggin' awesome!

kay zee - I was just telling C that I was sad cuz we didn't watch it this year. I'm gonna still watch it soon. :)

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