Friday, February 26, 2010

Source of my Annoyance

Maybe I'm a little on edge lately.

Alright, yes.... yes I am.

And maybe things are quicker to annoy me, because I'm in an extended foul mood.

It's a good possibility.

But still.

Even if I was happier than ever, constantly smiling from ear-to-ear and skipping happily down the street each day...

This commercial

would still

annoy the shit outta me.

(Click the link, cuz they won't allow this video to be embedded. God knows why.)

Source Yogurt.

Oh man. The sad part is that I now know all the words (and all flavours of yogurt), so this runs through my head over and over.

Mission accomplished, I suppose!

But I hate the song. Hate the awkward dance. Hate that apparently this girl is a real singer who may have talent outside of this commercial.

Oh look!

It's the French Version!

Oh Source. I like your yogurt.

I just hate your commercial.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Ich Bin Ein Auslander

This past weekend, I made a conscious effort to take a temporary break from my intense relationship with my couch.

Although sad, he understood. He's good like that.

On Friday night I met up with my dear Niagaran Doppelganger, Mike D.

We went to see Shutter Island. Beforehand, since I assumed it was a really scary movie, I had to explain how I'm a chickenshit and watch scary movies with my hands over my eyes. It wasn't so scary, but I did watch through squinted eyes here and there. Any scary or half scary crap involving kids freaks me out.

Hey! Scorcese! Leave the kids alone...

Over beers after, I may or may not have continually boasted about my musical knowledge. He may or may not have made fun of me. (Whatever Mike, I proved it!)


The next night, a gathering of fun folks populated the Annex Wreck Room to see Bob spin.

I'd never been there before. Never really had a reason, I suppose. But the beer was cheaper than most places, Bob was playing tunes that made me happy, and Natural Born Killers was on the big screen.

These campers may not look happy, but they were. They were just trying to avoid eye contact with the show-off frat boys who were hovering nearby.

Hovering. Leering. Judging, with their collared shirts.

After a few bottles of liquified love (of the hops and barley variety), I somehow managed to make friends with some (young) fellow metalheads, take a spin on the ol' stripper pole (not so good, Al.), and lose a game of Fooseball to some random dudes who cheated.

Oh, the dancing. And the arm-waving. Two days later, my arms still somehow hurt.

This is what 5 o'clock in the morning looks like, when you're tired and sweaty and lookin' for Big Macs in all the wrong places.

So... you'll all be there on March 6th when Bob spins again? Lovely. I think I need a re-match w/ those frat boys.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Shiny Happy People

The past month has been, to put it bluntly, a scum-sucking ass-tastic son of a goddamned bitch.

Everything went wrong. Big things. Little things. Stupid things. Didn't matter what it was. It went from horribly bad, to worse, to "how is it that I'm able to exist from day-to-day with all this shit going on? Hmm."

As if the breakup hadn't been (and isn't still) hard enough, it was merely a starting point. A launch pad o' fun.

And so, the negativity soared. I'm negative by nature... it's true. But lately? Since Murphy's Law had decided to make an example of me (y'know... "everything that can go wrong WILL go wrong.."), I saw no positivity in anything.

It's the wrong way to be.

Feeling helpless and overwhelmed and lost is shitty. Just plain shitty. I've recently been prone to random cry-fests, overwhelming nausea, massive outbursts of rage, capped off with an unavoidable need to curl up in a ball and stay that way. Permanently.

Today I've decided to change all of that. If I let it consume me, it'll never go away.

So I'm going to look forward to new things. Look "change" in the eye, punch it in the face and run away. Then come back and ask it to be my friend.

*I have to take positive baby steps in order to be the lion I need to be.

Cuz I've got plans, baby.


(* current mindset is subject to change. Yeah, sorry bout that...)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Spare A Nickel?

Coming up with the funds to pay for first and last at an unknown new apartment in an unknown area of an unknown city can be hard when you're broke.

And so, by some kinda accident, my empty water cup was mistaken for a tip jar... and it then evolved into a Rent Money Jar.

By the generosity of fellow co-workers and caring visitors, the total is up to about 30 cents.

At this rate, I'll have a new home in no time! Thanks, friends!


On an unrelated topic, I was able to take a couple hours away from my Apartment Fundraising to have beers with the one and only Screetus.

He's the first blogfriend I've ever met up with, and it was a good time. He doesn't know it yet, but I plan to find him the perfect woman. His awesomeness deserves a chick of equal awesomeness.

You readin' this, buddy? Be prepared!

(Oh look! He blogged our meeting as well.)

Hmm.... I should've stolen THOSE glasses for my Rent Money Jar.

They'd hold more.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Screw You, Cupid

It's February. You know what that means... Valentine's Day.

Since I write radio commercials for a living, I've been hit in the head with good ol' Vday for the past few weeks.

Every client wanted lovey-dovey commercials with sweet messages for couples. Love, love, love. Happy, happy, happy.

Oh, the timing. Always perfect.

This will be the first Valentine's Day that I'll be without someone in...uh... I dunno. Many years.

And y'know what? That's ok.

In the past I wrote about Valentines in a different light. In a newish relationship way, and in a full-blown love kinda way.

This year?

I won't complain. I know most people view it as a holiday created by companies that sell pink and red crap, half-wilted flowers and cheesy cards. I just like the idea of having a day to be happy and sweet with the ones you love.

So I'm devoting this one to a couple that I love dearly.

Jack & Daisy.

Best friends, lovers, teammates - they're all of that.

So this day is for them.

Because they don't yet know that they're going to be split up as well.

Ugh. It breaks my damn heart.

Happy Valentine's Day week, folks.  Interweb hugs for all (cuz some of us need em)!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Commercially Insane

Let me preface this post by stating that I am not crazy.

... ok, not THAT crazy. And hopefully not as crazy as I've been feeling lately. But of course, that can be attributed to major changes a-happenin', unfortunate amounts of stress, and lovely bouts of depression coupled with fun-tastic indecision about everything.

But I digress.

I admit that I'm a bit of a quirky chick. I do some weird things sometimes, and people may not quite "get" me. I also like to spout random references to songs, tv shows, movies... and commercials.

So for the past few years, at awkward points in many conversations, I've been known to say (in two different heavily-accented voices, no less):

"You don't need to run! You had a salad last night"

"Yeah! A SALad!"

[Insert sound of crickets here, as my un-witty reference receives no laughs or nods of recognition]

No one ever knows what the hell I'm talking about. And so I've been branded psycho. A crazyperson. Clearly unstable.

Until last week. During my visit home, I was out with friends and (surprise, surprise) managed to say those two lines that no one ever knows. But one person DID. And the next day he sent me this:


This is the commercial that stole my heart. And my sanity. Thanks to Ken for letting me know that I'm not alone.

And please note that if my bed was ever to speak to me in such a manner, there's no way in hell I'd ever choose running in the rain in my damn Nike shoes over sleeping.

Cuz I don't need to run. I had a salad last night.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Whiny Bitch Post

I may not be in the right mindframe to even be writing on this damn thing today... but oh well. I'm gonna anyway.


Kris, the newly single Rambler of uber Shambled thoughts:

... is apartment hunting, and not a big fan of it. Toronto is home to a lot of cheap places in seedy areas. I do not want to be in one.

... is a serial monogamist who has not been overly single since she was 17. That's 9.5 years ago. Welcome to a new journey. This is going to be strange.

... has recently and miserably become good friends with her couch and is considering a long-term serious relationship with it. Please stay tuned.

... is watching the Bachelor because no other channels are working. Really? People like this stuff? And believe that a crapload of chicks have "fallen in love" with some random dude because the producers say they have to? And that this dude is going to pick out a wife from the gaggle o' skanks? I see... you gullible little monkeys.

... has had a permanent sick feeling in her stomach for the past couple of weeks and is liable to burst into tears at any given moment. This is not the kinda chick she wishes to be, and hopes it passes quickly. 

... ate poutine and mozza sticks yesterday and felt a bit better. Even if only for a moment. 

... is still not sure whether she'll stick it out in Trawnna, or head on back to Niagara. Decisions, decisions. Never was any good at making them.

... is not a big fan of this "loneliness" thing.
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