Friday, April 30, 2010

When She Sings It's Over

Ten years ago I may have had a little obsession. These things happen in high school.

While most of my friends salivated over actors and boy bands, I was half crazy for the Deftones.

Especially the lead singer, Chino.

And so, it was ten years ago that my friend Joel got tickets and backstage passes to their concert in Toronto. For li'l 17 year old me, that was....huge.

Now, let me explain something....

This was me ten years ago. You can't really tell, but I was small. Skinny. Weak. All legs and not much else.

But at this concert, I pummeled my way through the massive crowd. Squeezed past the huge dudes, had my hair pulled and face clawed at by the goth chicks, and pretty much got kicked everywhere. But I pushed and fought til I got to the front.

The whole concert, I stood right in front of Chino. Awestruck in such a way that I hardly noticed all the people beating at me from behind, or how the guard rails dug deeply into my hip bones.

After the concert, I was a mess. Sweaty, frizzy, gross. But I pulled my hair back, took a few breaths and went to meet my favourite band.

The pictures didn't turn out. Meeting them all was a blur of excitement. But the crazy Cloud 9 I was on afterward was worth it all.

Even worth the head to toe bruises and gashes I later realized I had.

I haven't been able to see them again since, for one reason or another.

But now... ten years later, they're back again. And this time with another of my all-time favourite bands, Alice In Chains (I'll explain that one another time, perhaps).

In September, 27 year-old Kris will probably see them with different eyes than 17 year-old Kris. But knowing me, there's bound to be a bruise or two.


And now my concert schedule's coming together. Tegan & Sara in July. Deftones and Alice in Chains in Sept. Now if only Tool would bring their tour just a liiiiittle bit east.... then this girl would be very, very happy.

Have a good weekend, kids! I'm Toronto-bound 'n junk....

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

There's A Big Hard Sun, Beatin' On The Big People In The Big Hard World

As of yesterday, I've been in St. Catharines for a month.

Very strange. It's somehow simultaneously felt like forever and yet still a short time.

Each day I know I'm closer to where I wanna be. Searching like crazy for the right job, keeping positive and not letting myself give up. Things are gonna happen, dammit.

Reading some old blog posts yesterday, I came across this one from January 2008. My life was different but similar then, and I think maybe I was right. But I'll turn the make-believe world into my reality.

This weekend I'll be back in Toronto. It's like visiting home - exciting and familiar.
I hope to see friends that I miss.  If you're around, let me know.

In other news, today my blog hit 35,000 hits since May 2008 when I threw the counter on my page.

Not a huge number for many bloggers who see that in a month. But considering the first year didn't have many readers, and I never ever expected that anyone would WANT to read random stuff that I spewed...

It makes me happy to see.

So thank you guys for giving a shit. And for putting up with my rambles that are oh so very shambled.

Monday, April 26, 2010

It's Three In The Morning & You're Eating Alone

Oh look. It's Monday.

And on this particular Monday, we're doin' a little Shambled Random Ramblings.

No rhyme or reason for anything. Just sharing stuff with you, my lovely friends, cuz I feel like it.

Random Ramble #1:

I was listening to some GNR, as I do, and a little ditty that I like to sing along to came on. This time, because I wasn't singing as loudly as usual, I actually heard Axl sing. Now... I know all the words to the song, of course. But I feel like he's singin' something different....

Take a listen:

The song is apparently about his dog, but that's beside the point. The lyrics are "I used to love her, but I had to kill her".

Doesn't it sound like Axl is really saying "I used to love her, but I had tequila"? (Mostly in the  middle of the song.)

Yeah. It does.

Kinda makes sense, no?

Random Ramble #2:

Recently, a man called me a "super gorgeous moo-moo head", and proceeded to ask me out on a date.

So... did he call me a pretty cow head? And then expect that I'd want to go have dinner with him? Is this normal?!

I don't even know what it means. He took the rejection well, though. For a freakin' moo-moo head.

Random Ramble #3

This is my shirt.

I like my shirt.

For once, I like a shirt that is not black.

But for a non-black shirt, this thing is bad luck. It's my Bad Luck Shirt.

Everytime I wear it, something bad happens. Every damn time.

So I'm usually scared to wear it.

Til now.

Screw it. I'm gonna turn it into my Good Luck Shirt.

So I'm wearing it as I type this.

(Please, please, don't let me fall down the stairs to my death, or have my hair fall out, or let me break another foot.... ugh, this was a bad idea...)

Happy Monday, folks!

Saturday, April 24, 2010

I Had To Send It Away To Bring Us Back Again

Yesterday I deleted one of my blogs.

Not a post. An entire blog.

I never post to it. I don't need it. So I deleted it. According to Blogger, I deleted it forever.

Later, I looked at my profile to see if it was off my blog list.

Oddly, it was still there.


This facial expression was fitting. Strange that it would still be listed.

Then I realized that I had actually deleted The Ungrateful Sister of Shambled Ramblings, better known as Caught.


The one I've actually been posting to lately.

I had deleted the whole thing. Forever.

Cut to me pulling my hair out.

I freaked right out.

And stupidly so. I mean.. it's a blog. Not even my main blog.

Just a friggin' blog.

But it's a collection of words and thoughts and we all know how much I'm into looking back on things. It made me sad to think that I couldn't read how I felt at different times, and see comments from people who 'got' it.

Luckily, when I went back to the ol' Blogger dashboard, I discovered a little thing called "undelete".

Oh, undelete. How I love you.

This, friends, was a *whew* moment.

Blew the messed up hair outta my eyes and maybe squealed with joy. Maybe.

And now the other, less viewed, less cared about blog, is back up like it had never been gone.


I'm Feeling Supersonic

It's April 24th.

I realized today that I had forgotten to post this video on the appropriate day.

So here it is.

Late, but hell. It's still spring.

Yay Spring!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Quippy Bullshit For The Rock Dirty Boy


Here is a video of Patrick and I planning our project.

Crappily done on my digital camera.

It's just us. Sittin' in a boardroom. Going through our notes.

Our crazy, crazy notes.

Consider it a final teaser, before I post some of the real stuff.

But PLEASE... do us a favour and watch it on the actual YouTube site.

We need some views, maybe a few comments...

Make us look good as we go along, so the People In Charge will think we're



Tuesday, April 20, 2010

I've Seen The Future & I've Left It Behind

Near the end of January, when things went bad, I made myself stop listening to music.

No music on the way to work.
No music on the way home.
No music while cooking dinner or cleaning the house.
No music. At all.

I simply did not want to hear sad songs that would set me off, or turn the tunes I loved into reminders of how I felt at that point.

For those of you who really know me, that's kinda a big deal.
But I knew it was best for me. Been there.

Eventually I broke out the headphones again.
Turned on the stereo and danced around my living room.
Mashed potatoes to a crazy drum beat.
Screamed off-key over the sound of the big green vacuum.

Baby, I was back.

And since I've been here in St. Catharines again?

I've jumped back in time to the days when everything was better if it was heavier or louder.
Going through all my old cds and all the MP3's on my neglected computer made me remember some of my old favourite stuff.

Like Sabbath:

And always, older Deftones:

And I was going to post some Nine Inch Nails... but instead, in light of Peter Steele's recent passing... A little gothtastic Type O' Negative tribute:

I'm still eclectic like usual.
I'm just remembering how much I friggin' love all music.

And I promise to never, ever forget again.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

All I Can Be Is A Busy Sea of Spinning Wheels & Hands That Feel

Welcome to Kris' foggy, foggy brain!

The last half week has left me a little out of sorts.

Wednesday night? No sleep.

Thursday night? No sleep.

Friday night? No sleep.

And in between were busy days, including lots of work stuff, project stuff, me stuff, a good ol' psychobilly rawk show at mansion, a day of setting up for the Proud FM bday, working the Proud FM bday and then lettin' a bit loose.... at the Proud FM bday.

(speaking of Proud, here's a little story with some advice that has changed the way I look at everything)

Saturday morning, as soon as I got home from Toronto, I climbed.... no, crawled... into my bed.

I did not leave until 7:30 this morning, to get ready for the annual Walk for MS.

And right now?

I just woke up from a weird fitful nap that I didn't mean to take, chock full of bad dreams and anxiety attacks in between.

I need to get out of this funk. It's a nasty type of depression that screws with sleep habits and moods 'til you're so lethargic that you can't move.

But mama's gotta move.

And that's how I'll fight it.

No damn depression can withstand a punch to the throat and a kick to the crotch from this chick.

'Scuse me while I search for my brass knuckles and steel-toed boots.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

And Fade Out Again

I spent the last three days editing a video.

I admit, I've never edited a video before. But dang it, I learned. And I did it. And it was just about done.

Then the program went wonky the file was ruined.

Yeah. Cut to yours truly cursing everything under the sun.


I was gonna post it here yesterday, as it is "super duper secret crazy person project" related. But now, I must re-do. 

Which means I have nuthin' to post. So...uh... here's a couple pics of me bowling from January!



Here's a video of one my all-time song obsessions...

Umm.... and... I've been updating my other blog more often. If you're bored of me here, go get bored of me there!

I'm off to Toronto tomorrow for Proud FM's 3rd Birthday Bash.

If you're in the city, come and play with all the Proud FMers - and me. Details here.

That's all I got for today. Sorry to have failed you.

I'm off to edit a video and try not to cry about all the work I lost.

Monday, April 12, 2010

It's The Room, The Sun and The Sky

I'd like to apologize in advance - the next couple of posts will probably be random pics of this weekend in Toronto, working on the thing I'm working on that I've also been working on not saying much about.

That's work.

This guy on the left? Yeah, you'll learn more about him. More than you probably wanted to.

Remember him for future reference, mmkay?

Yeah, so what if my mom sent me out the door with a muffin and orange juice?

She cares about me.

I don't need your jealousy.

Gotta love work that requires afternoon patio beers.

Necessary beer.

I feel that all jobs should follow that lead and increase employee satisfaction.

Or, employee intoxication. Wh'ever.

Perhaps wearing two shirts, a sweater and a jacket was a dumb idea, knowing I'd be in front of a camera.

These layers add weight. Cameras don't like weight.

I have failed.

Neil came along to lend moral support...

and cuz he heard a rumour there was beer involved.

And later on, he and I had a date with the Rhino.

Yeah... predictable... I'm aware...

For all the people we ran into, Jack was the only one photographed.

The paparazzi's after ya, Jackie.

Oh, good morning!

And yet again, I'm back in St. Catharines.

Unravelling the details and further work for Project No-Name, Featuring Kris & Patrick.

I'm. Dang. Tired.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

I Won't Go Gettin' Tired Of You

Today I am off to Toronto.

Bout time.

And yes, it's to work on the "project" I briefly mentioned before.


So have a lovely weekend, everyone.

I'm going to play with my Torontonian folks.

If you're in town, drop me a line. Perhaps you can skip, jump and frolic along with us.

In the meantime, check out this vid.

You may recognize a few familiar faces:

And no.

That's not the "project".

Stay friggin' tuned.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Is This Love That I'm Feelin'?

I have a problem.

And the first step to curing an addiction is admitting you have one. So here goes....

I'm addicted to Craigslist.

There. I said it.

I'm madly in love with it, even.

Every 5 minutes I HAVE to check out the newest Toronto apartments waiting for me. No pets? Damn. No pets? Crap. No Pets? Yeah, I got the idea. Pet friendly? I'm in!

And when I have an apartment?

I look at the free stuff. There's gems in that there section. Surely, I must have this random red basket from the 60's.

And the furniture for sale. Oh look! Pictures of end tables! And used Ikea couches!

And, oh...the tickets! Cheap concert tickets! Last minute tickets to the game! Tickets to that thing I'd never even be willing to pay a dollar for, but look... they're FREE!

Aw, hell.

It's been 5 minutes.

I gotta go spend time with my secret boyfriend, to scroll up and down his wonderful pages.

I love you, Craigslist.

In a creepy, creepy manner.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Jump In The Delorian, We're Goin' For A Ride

This PC that I am currently working on was unplugged and unused for about a year.
Ever since we moved to our downtown apartment.

C had a better computer, so we used his.
And then we became cool and procured laptops, so my poor lonely PC just sat there untouched.

Last week I plugged 'er in and it came alive again.
Only to throw me backwards in time.

My desktop picture?

This one:

Old blonde hair, old apartment, ye olde boyfriend.
Quite obviously old.

And when I left the comp for awhile, the screen saver kicked in.
It was this one, featured in a blog post (scroll down fer it).
I had forgotten about that.
Again... it's from 2008. So, it's old. Yet sweet.

Some of the icons on my desktop were from things we were working on back then.
They kinda made me laugh.

And I have re-connected with all my old pictures...

Like meeting my sweet Jack for the first time.

And getting our little Daisy.

Looking back can be really sad.
Bittersweet, really.
But I've always been one to love seeing pictures and songs from the past,
and remembering the happy times.
Cuz between the bad ones, the good ones were always there.
Usually moreso.

This is why I'm a picture horder.
And my PC is my partner in nostalgic crime.


On a completely separate note, I've been posting over at my depressy-bitchy-moody blog. Y'know, where I go to post stuff that isn't as happy. Read it if ya wanna feel like crap. You're quite welcome!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I Like Pleasure Spiked With Pain

Last night I actually left the house for reasons other than dog walks and Shoppers Drug Mart visits.

Ah, Mansion House. The bar that always feel like home.

Fun times with good friends and beer that is delicious.

Afterwards, I obviously had an FGP (Fat Girl Platter for you new Shambled readers. Here's some backstory).

They changed it, too. Without my consent, they added deep fried green beans to the mix. That's some weird shit, eh? Yet surprisingly awesome.

Today I decided to make a POA (That's a Plan of Action, dontchaknow.)

I posted it to my Facebook, so I apologize to those who have already read my Awesometastic 5 Step Program. But repetition is key to sticking with something.

Step 1 - Procure awesometastic job in Toronto.

Step 2 - Find equally awesometastic apartment.

Step 3 - Move back. (Yeah. That'd help.)

Step 4 - Exist awesometastically with new life.

Step 5 - Find worthy man prototype, claim him, and create awesometastic offspring.

And there you have it.

My plan for greatness.

It'll happen, surely.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Oh Berlin, Your Heart Has Been Drawn & Quartered Again

It's me again.

No bloggin' doggie today.  It's back to me, the ol' Shambled Rambler named Kris who seems to have forgotten what it's like to interact with people in real life.


What am I talking about?

Since I made the move last week, I haven't really left the house. I go to bed early. I wake up early. I work from home, job hunt, apartment hunt, and mostly interact with people via interwebz.

Doesn't help the depression or anxiety. Quite frankly, I'm missing a whole lotta things from my old life right now. It's too easy to be sad.

Methinks I need to socialize. And so, tomorrow night, I shall.

In completely and utterly unrelated news, I should be coming back to Toronto for a day or two next week.


Why would I be doing that, you ask?

Well... there's a project afoot. But that's all I'm saying for now. If it works out the way it should, you'll all be learning about it shortly.

Frankly, it's gonna be awesometastic. Or non-existent.

Such a waiting game we're playing, friends.

Hat 'n glasses time.

Gotta be incognito so my fans don't maul me while I'm out on the town.

By "fans", I mean Daisy. And "out on the town"? Yeah. That's the backyard.

Oh, the life I live.
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