For anyone that's been reading my blog for awhile, you may know my dear friend Masuka (pictured below with Bob and I). This little ditty is 'bout him. It's another long-ass post.
A couple of weeks before I moved back to St. Catharines, my lovely twin friends came up and visited me in Toronto. We had been out a pub, having a couple beers and eating like fat kids. While outside for a smoke, we were discussing the new Alice in Wonderland and I spoke of how (although I adore all things Johnny Depp and/or Tim Burton) I disliked the re-make of Willy Wonka.
I then got a text message.
Masuka - "Yeah, Johnny Depp WAS creepy in Willy Wonka".
Me - "What the shit?! Where are you?"
Masuka - "hehehehe."
I turned around - no Masuka. Looked everywhere - no Masuka. A creepy guy smoking near us kept smiling at me funny so I actually became paranoid enough to believe that somehow he had told Masuka about our conversation.
This, my friends, was the beginning of a Pocket Dialling Saga.
For some reason, while in the confines of my "Purse of Ill Repute", my Blackberry just loooves to call Masuka.
He calls it Ass Dialling, but it's actually Purse Dialling. And it Purse Dials him all the damn time. So he listens to whatever conversations I may be having, without my knowledge. And then proceeds to text me and freak me out.
I was at the gas station with my Dad one day, and I said that I hadn't pumped gas in a long time since I hadn't been driving.
Text from Masuka - "Go on Kris, fill it up. You can do it."
Leah & I were parking somewhere in Toronto, counting out change for the meter. Possibly singing loudly and off-key in made-up languages while counting. One dollar.... two dollars... three dollars.. another fifty cents...
Text from Masuka - "Yeah, $3.50 should be enough."
My friends and I were at the bar, discussing boobs. Yup, boobs. I may have spoken about how mine weren't big, but luckily perky. My friend said hers were big but not perky enough. And one of the dudes said that size didn't honestly matter as long as they were NICE boobs.
Text from Masuka - "I wanna meet the chick with the big boobs!"
And so it continues, with other conversations that I'd rather not post about at this time.
One day Masuka will hear something that he should not hear. And then he will be sorry.
After that, maybe I'll start locking the damn keypad on my Blackberry.
But til then?
Well, I'd just be a bad friend if I took away all his fun.