Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Can Feel You Most When I'm Alone

When I was young, I practically lived on the swing in my backyard.

Hours upon hours were spent back there, swinging my little life away. It was the one place I could go that no one could touch me. Far away from school where kids could be cruel and made me scared every morning; far away from the telephone where harassing prank calls seemed unavoidable; far away from anything and everything, including my own sad feelings.

Just me. On my swing. In my own little world where I felt safe and happy.

In less than two months I'll be 27. The swing sets are long gone, but the grass still doesn't properly grow where I spent all the days of my childhood.

I miss it terribly.

Because some things really never change...




I still use it as a kind of therapy.

It still makes me happy, almost child-like.

And it reminds me of how that frightened little girl is now grown up, but still doesn't have all the answers.

So I swing to clear my head of all the cobwebs,  and I remember how to be happy.

Just let go, and reach as high as you can.

Eventually both feet will be on the ground again.


22 comments:

Paul said...

Same :)

I love feeling weightless.

Kris said...

Definitely. And the back and forth motion probably adds to the soothing feeling.

Masuka said...

Why not get a bedroom swing?
hahahahahaha

Kris said...

Well, I should probably wait until I'm not living at my parents' house. Ha.

Paul said...

I second the bedroom swing.

Shevy said...

i heart swings... especially the ones with long chains that let you get super high... i'm too scared to jump off anymore though.

the song "swing life away" is playing in my head because of this...

ps. i am apparently stalking your blog today.

peterdewolf said...

Awwwwwwww.

That's it. That's my comment.

Kris said...

Shev - I NEVER jump. Haha, never was into that. And please, stalk my blog all the time! It likes you.

peter - It's a good comment. :)

Princess Pessimism said...

I still play on the swings all the time...Very theraputic. What can you say...we're swingers. LOL. I miss your back yard too....I have lots of good memories at your house, INCLUDING every thursday coming to see your sister and watch ren and stimpy.

How are you - i never heard back after your last message on FB

Kris said...

Yeah, I liked when you and Steph's other friends came over cuz you guys were nice to me. I don't think she liked that!

I looked into some of the stuff you sent me, I'll send you a note back now. And just so you know, you are awesome.

Mike D. said...

Love the smile as always Kris.

Princess Pessimism said...

YOU Are awesome.... :)

Kris said...

Nope! You!

And thanks, Mike.

Anonymous said...

Great song to swing to... Jurassiv 5 - Swing Set
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYKRtJbRpeo
should cheer you up.

Friend said...

The beginning of this post makes me sad. I know a bit of what things were like for you as a kid, and I also know that kind of treatment can really stay with a person as they mature. I'm willing to bet it plays a big part in the way you feel about yourself now. Would I be wrong?

The end, on the other hand, made me smile. Your feet will be in the ground again soon, but until that time comes I hope you keep reaching for that sky.

Kris said...

Anon - Nice, thanks!

Friend - You're right. It does play a part in how I am now, there's no way it can't. You seem to know me well...

Anonymous said...

any update on your ETA to Toronto to live? what's happening with the show?

Kris said...

No real update, still looking for a job so I can move back. Job hunting sucks.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any connections at CBC in Toronto? You'd do really well there I think, a company you could really grow at with tv/radio/writing etc. and the pay isn't bad even for starting out. http://www.cbc.radio-canada.ca/jobs/

Kris said...

Yep, I have a buncha friends there. I check out the jobs pretty often. Thnak :)

Kris said...

Uhh... that should read "thanks". Heh.

Emily said...

swing in bedroom, uh, that makes me thinking

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