Friday, June 25, 2010

Beautify The Foothills, & Shake The Many Hands

The emails and messages still continue to pour in from strangers and friends alike. I've said it a million times, I'll say it again - You guys are pretty frickin' amazing.

It also appears that I have a bunch of new readers lately. And I realize that my last two posts are pretty low and pain-fueled. That happens 'round here, you'll soon learn. (But hopefully not to the extent it has this week. Cuz frankly, I can't handle that shit any longer. So I move onward.)

But there's more to me than that. So lemme introduce myself.


I'm Kris.

I like beer and Big Macs.

I hate olives.

I have a dog named Daisy. She kicks ass. Quite literally.

I suffer from depression and am prone to anxiety attacks. They're just a part of my charm.

I'm sarcastic, perverted and thoroughly enjoy all four-letter words.

I love Christopher Walken. My brother-in-law's impression makes me giggle. (Watch this - I can't embed it but man, do I love it. And him.)

I have a black guitar named Ziggy Stardust that is currently in storage. As soon as I'm back on my own, I have THREE lovely gentlemen who are forcing me to learn how to play. Prepare for videos of the carnage.

I once broke my foot doing the Elaine dance.

I detest the colour pink. I have never, and will never wear it. But hey - YOU can!

I am obsessed with music. Especially that kind that really makes me feel something.

...but I also have some musical pleasures that I'll NEVER feel guilty for.

I love love. Being in love. Being loved. I look forward to the next time it comes around for real.

I think you're just swell.

I have another blog, but its mostly just blather. As is this one.

I'm insanely loyal, sometimes to a fault. Even to those who take advantage. But I'm learning to shed my doormat ways.

I dislike people who are holier-than-thou. And I know more than my share.

I'm a cereal monogamist. I have relationships with cereal.

I sadly miss my other dog. Hi Jack. Mummy loves ya.

I might break your heart.

I'm glad you're here.


Anonymous said...

Strangely enough, I heard about the legend of someone breaking their foot while doing the Elaine dance last Saturday at a local "Ribfest". Either the Elaine dance is very dangerous, or you are the person of legend.

Inadequate Jaw said...

I hate olives too, let's get married.

Ciavarro said...

Whenever I see your name pop up on my Facebook feed, I read it in my mind as "Kristen Goats".

I have no idea if that's right, but anybody named after a creepy farm animal is ok in my books.

Kris said...

Anon - Holy hell. It's gotta be me. Who'd you hear it from? I think an old ex was there.

Jaws - Alright, where's my ring?

Chad - Pronounced "gets". Take out the O, and it'll make more sense. Although I AM a creepy farm animal.

Jaws said...

I don't believe in rings, but do believe in belly button chandeliers. Will you be mine?

Kris said...

Buy me a beer and we'll call it even.

Gage said...

you hate olives? I LOVE olives. Beyond that though... we have a TON in common! (and you can add Ratt to my guilty pleasures but no apologies playlist).

Kris said...

My ex was an olive freak and did his best to make me love them. Only when I was starving and without options did I eat 'em. The big greek ones I don't dislike as much, though.

Anonymous said...


I only met you a few times. You are creative, warm, friendly, passionate, giving, beautiful, sexy, intelligent, funny and an all around wonderful person.

You deserve the best the world has to offer and anyone who gets to be your parter in life should count themselves lucky in the extreme.

As you move towards all the wonderful things coming in your life, keep your chin up and know that even people who barely know you, think you are a great human being.

Christopher (Re: Reading)

Craig said...


I know first hand one that did, does, and will.

There are many shades of grey.

Kris said...

Chris - Yet another comment that made me tear up a little. Man, I get emotional...

Thank you. I don't really have the words to tell you how nice it was to read that. I appreciate it so very much.

Craig - Shades of grey. Yes. And when the skies turn grey, there's a shitstorm coming.

MLJ said...

Hey Kris,
Sounds like you are getting back on your feet! Glad to hear it.

I think we said what we needed to and now that's all resolved, I do wish you, and those people/dogs in your life well.

Take care,

Anonymous said...

You didn't tell me that you're perverted.

Kris said...

MLJ - Thanks. "Resolved" isn't the word, but "over and done with" will work. Best we can hope for, I s'pose. Thanks for the well wishes.

peter - You always write me such nice emails, how could you ever know my perverted sense of humour? Haha.

Mike D. said...

I wish I had typed what Christopher typed. But you know I think the same things, right?

Kris said...

I'm guessing you must, since you posted this comment three times. ;) I erased the other two.

Anonymous said...

Well, it was Saturday. I had just flown in from Paris the previous day so I was pretty jet lagged (woke up Saturday at 2am).

In an effort to fix it I went with a friend to ribfest and she told me we were meeting her friend "Shar" as well as Shar's family because her father was playing in one of the bands of the evening.

I believe they were belting out a rendition of Go Down Gamblin', to which my friend busted out the infamous (and dangerous) Elaine dance. I believe it was a friend of this "Shar" girl's mother who interjected with "careful, so and so broke their foot doing that dance".

I was really out of it but I remember that because it was one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

The End


Kris said...


Perhaps I am a legend in the ridiculous.

ghost said...

where else would i be?

Kris said...


Anonymous said...

Nice post and this fill someone in on helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you on your information.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...