Saturday, June 5, 2010

Bizarre Love Triangle


I grew up reading Archie comics. My collection was pretty substantial, at least until I sold the majority of it last year when money was especially tight.

I was always on Team Betty. I thought Archie should have been with her and only her. She was nice, smart, athletic... she loved him and treated him so well. Veronica was the spoiled rich bitch who treated him like dirt, yet he always wanted her most.

When I was blonde, I figured I was more like Betty. Loyal with a heart of gold. Often overlooked. But an all-around great girl who would do anything for those she loved.

Yeah, well. I went brunette. Things changed. And y'know what i realize?

Good ol' blonde Betty Cooper was a doormat.

She did everything for Archie. Fixed his car, cleaned his clothes, did his homework... and he still ditched her for Veronica.  Betty put up with it every time.

And Veronica? She knew what she was doing. She had every dude under her spell. Miss Lodge came off as an icy bitch, but really she was just SMART. Men don't fall for pushovers - she knew this.

So with dark hair and a new attitude, I'm switching teenage comic teams.

I'm not Betty. I'm not a doormat, waiting in the wings for life to throw me a bone.

I'm Veronica. A feisty bitch who's gonna get what she wants. No apologies.

Looks like I've finally become who I set out to be.

Oh, and Archie? You're a below average, two-timing small-town hack. Betty can have ya.

This dark-haired chick has her sights set high.

(And if somehow the fictional Veronica Lodge's billions of dollars falls into my real-life lap? That'd be cool too.)

14 comments:

Princess Pessimism said...

I never read these comics - and after reading about how torrid, and "day time tv" they sounded...im glad i didnt. I mean, how many years can they write about betty fixing archies car???

Anonymous said...

Dont' forget his tryst with the sassy redhead Cheryl Blossom. Archie got away with way too much in those damn comics!! come to think of it he's a bit of a whore! judhead always reminded me of jon cusak

Kris said...

Princess - Oh, but they're great comics. There's more to em than that, I swear! ;)

Anon - Cheryl was a dirty slut. Ha! I love Jughead...

Mike D. said...

I don't know. I think you are fiesty and strong, and will get what you want and all that. But you're sweet like Betty, and kind. You might look more like Veronica, but I don't know which of them is more like you. Toss a coin!

Masuka said...

3some!

Kris said...

Mike - I have no coins to toss :(

Masuka - Wayta be predictable, my dear!

Anonymous said...

You're far from an icy bitch. Feisty is good, though. I would absolutely call you a mix of the two.

Kris said...

Maybe I'm Reggie Mantle.

Friend said...

You're neither of them. You're Kris, which is a million times better than Betty, Veronica, or any other girl I can think of. I can go back and watch that video you posted and marvel at all your strong points and how you stay unique. One of a kind, Kris. Not a duplicate of anyone, real or fake.

Kris said...

Wow, thanks Friend.

With words like that, ya MUST be a friend.

screetus said...

When I see that outfit I think "super hero." Or heroine. You could wear that and come to Toronto to fight crime and evil. Way cooler than Veronica.

Kris said...

I've worn the outfit a few times in Toronto... but I didn't fight crime. I mostly drank beer. Does that count?

peterdewolf said...

I knew I liked you.

I was a HUGE fan of Archie comics.

I always wanted some some of Betty and Veronica. Like a slightly sarcastic Betty. Or a warmer Veronica.

I had a friend I could annoy by telling him that Veronica had nicer breasts.

Kris said...

That's funny, because when I was younger my buddy said he liked Betty much better because the artist always drew her boobs bigger than Veronica's.

As a B&V expert, I know the truth. Their boob size varies. :)

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