Sunday, June 27, 2010

G-Force Is Twisting The Fate With Superstition

Dear Mystery Toronto Writing Job,

It's me. Again.

Look, I know you've been avoiding me. You rarely answer my calls, emails, job applications - You must think I should get the hint.

But I just can't help myself. I want you. I CRAVE you.

You. The wonderful creative job in the city. The job that allows me to do what I'm good at; that challenges me, but gives me the creative license that I've never truly known.

The job that will put a smile on my face and give me the ability to move back. To start a new kickass life of independence and happiness. You are my first step.

You.

I realize we've never met, but I already know you're wonderful.

And I simply must have you.

So please. Stop being so coy. Playing hard-to-get is juvenile and beneath you.

We're meant to be. I know it. You know it.

I never give up something I care deeply for; I will always fight for it.

And I always get what I want... eventually.

So just let it happen, Toronto Job. Cuz really... you need me, too.


All my love (well, as much as you can really love a job),


Kris




p.s. - Can we also be friends with benefits? I need benefits. Dentists cost a bitchload of money. Thanks.



57 comments:

Greg Ryan said...

Who are you trying to get a job with? Or maybe I should say, what is your ideal writing job? :)

-- Greg S.

k said...

You write well.You'll get there. When you do , I expect guest list..and comps. lots of comps. And none of that cheap-ass cart vodka.. what are yout thoughts on tequila...

screetus said...

You know I think I may have run into your Mystery Toronto Writing Job this weekend -- he was super drunk at some bar and also had lost his cell phone so couldn't be reached.

But he did say, keep doing what you're doing 'cause you're amazing and awesome and sooner or later you will find success.

He also said if you happened to post a photo or two of yourself in your underwear here on your blog, well that certainly wouldn't hurt your chances.

Okay I made that last part up.

Anonymous said...

your tanlines are making me think bad things.

THAT Guy said...

Screetus, great advice, but you are being a bit creepy. If you like the girl, just ask her out for a soda.

Kris said...

Greg - At this point? I'll take just about anything. But I would love something media-related.

k - Me & tequila are sometimes great friends. This'll be fun.

screetus - Yeah, Toronto Writing Jobs always have a thing for underwear pictures. I think that's why we didn't work out before.

Anon - Are they making you think of sunscreen? Or skin cancer?....it's skin cancer, isn't it?

That Guy - We've gone out for a soda. But it was beer. He's my friend 'n junk.

Mike D. said...

Still no luck?

Kris said...

Not much.

Sixty-Four Dollar Question said...

So who exactly should I be hunting down and sending my mobster friends after? Clearly, I once dated a mobster for this purpose only.

Anonymous said...

Dear Kris,

You are too good for me. I hide because I am scared that you will one day leave me for a better job.

But if you really want me, we'll be together soon. Very happily.

Love,

Mystery Toronto Writing Job

Kris said...

64 Dollar Q - Heh. I'll have to send ya a list, chick. With pleasure. And yeah, that IS a great reason to date a mobster.

Anon - Alright then. That's settled. I'm ready for you, baby!

Anonymous said...

Find a job where you write but are also in front of the camera. You could realistically do so well. Smart Kris does great writing while Hot Kris gets the glory.

Kris said...

I'm thinking that'd be harder to find than a regular writing job.

Perhaps I'll go work at McDonalds. Will I get free Big Macs?

sweetly said...

If you're looking for a writing job, Kris, you're best bet is to identify websites and blogs that actually earn revenue and write for them as a freelancer (if not full-time). An excellent example would be Mashable.

Mashable has a bunch of writers (employed, yes) all around the globe writing about social media and other related topics. Some work full-time, some part-time, but they are getting paid.

It will be easier for you to find employment as a writer this way than trying to find your dream writing job in your local hometown or even Toronto, for that matter.

THAT Guy said...

You do NOT use the term "n' junk"?! I use that all the time n' stuff.

I think I love you.

Kris said...

sweetly - Thanks. I looked there, but I may be SOL.

That Guy - I always say that. Y'know... stuff 'n junk. Things 'n crap. People 'n shit. Can't help it.

Love me, do ya? Well then. Let's get married!

THAT Guy said...

Deal. Can I be a stay at home husband? I make great sandwiches, and I can fold laundry like a mofo.

Kris said...

I love sandwiches. This is doable, just lemme find a job first!

THAT Guy said...

On second thought, I'll bring home the bacon and you can stay home and make BLTs with said bacon.

Kris said...

BLTs ARE my favourite.

THAT Guy said...

(heart)

Shevy said...

I've been meaning to ask... Is this the answer to my question???

Anonymous said...

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/35357/link/casino%20online/19_style_casino.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/35357/img0/casino%20online/19_style_casino.png[/IMG][/URL]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://hairtyson.com]phentermine 375[/url] are tablets that resist abridge league weight. One of these tabs has to be enchanted with fizzy water be illogical, around 20 minutes ahead a refection, twice a day.

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.payloansonline.com]online payday loans[/url]
This is the best way to get all your health products online like green coffee, african mango, phen375 and others. Visit now

[url=http://www.usfreeads.com/_health-and-fitness/hair-loss/provillus--new-year-sales-2013-on-provillus-hair_3286162-cls.html]Provillus[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://www.payloansonline.com]online payday loans[/url]
This is the best way to get all your health products online like green coffee, african mango, phen375 and others. Visit now

[url=https://www.facebook.com/garciniacambogiaoffer]Garcinia Cambogia[/url]

Anonymous said...

[url=http://garciniacambogiaselectz.weebly.com]
garcinia cambogia fruit[/url] is the best paunchy fervid wring present in vend these days a days. Lose upto 10 kg in 1 month. garcinia cambogia select

Anonymous said...

With the increasing fan base your product sale will also considerably increase and your marketing
objectives will be easily achieved. Facebook fans and
you can get Facebook fans cheap if you follow the link
at the bottom of this article. The more Facebook fans you can make, the
more followers you can get, which eventually add to your growing clientele base.


Here is my web page increase facebook fans

Anonymous said...

Especially, Facebook the social networking website that was a hub for youngsters when it was launched is now a market place where people not only try
to flaunt their services and products rather
try to sell their services too. An experienced service provider from the industry can anly assist you
buy Facebook fans and likes that would be real and active Facebook users.
Like anything else in this world, you get what
you pay for.

Here is my blog: http://socialbears.com/google-plus-one/

Anonymous said...

He will know when he’s done something bad or good.
Citrus juices help in decreasing the chance of bacteria to remain in your dog.
Oh, Behave Dog Training and Behavior Counseling.

My web page; perfect dog training as seen on tv
My site :: Dog Training Articles

Anonymous said...

If you're on a budget have your guests light sparklers as you depart. Many styles of flowers are available at the marketplace especially doomed for ornamentation prospect. If necessary, place a polite reminder on your sign-in page that this is not an informal website, and that distasteful comments will be removed.

my webpage; wedding website affiliate programs
Also see my site - wedding website affiliate Program

Anonymous said...

He will know when he’s done something bad or good. The truth is this isn't aversion education. We turn off the TV.

My website; cmc dog training and boarding

Anonymous said...

there are lots of family dog web pages which provide totally
free information on several unique instruction troubles. The truth is this isn't aversion education. Research states that more dog trainers and owners are deciding on the dog training collar.

Here is my web-site ... dog training academy of south florida

Anonymous said...

Also, we need to determine the rounds of the quiz according to it.

Anna had been looking through my phone while I was naked.
8.

Look at my website: funny pub quiz names

Anonymous said...

I will be most certainly of the perception a magic
formula so that you can Doggie Behavior is top-notch level item that supplies a large number involving quality info for a surprisingly low value.
You should teach your dog and talk to him during training sessions.
We turn off the TV.

Also visit my website: jabula dog training atlanta

Anonymous said...

This is because they have a high number of satisfied clients who have purchased likes and fans in bulk and are reaping the immense benefits.
Out of all them the best and most used one is to buy Facebook fans.
Facebook fans offers the opportunity for you to be spontaneous and quick responses as well as receive messages
from your users.

Here is my web page :: get facebook fans
Also see my page: increase facebook fans

Anonymous said...

There are various kids birthday party games that it
is possible to play with your kids and your guests. Party packages include admission, skate rentals, party favors, soda, ice cream,
balloon bouquet and more. Traditional board games like musical chairs relay, dancing
paper, and many others.

Also visit my webpage; 18th birthday party ideas

Anonymous said...

It's actually very complex in this busy life to listen news on TV, thus I just use world wide web for that reason, and get the newest news.

My web blog 13th birthday party ideas

Anonymous said...

In this article I will teach you the basics of how to have fun learning your chords by playing out
of a Fake Book. -- Chord Symbol: Dm. Piano players that struggle are the
ones that don't play with passion and feeling.

Here is my web blog :: list of piano chords and notes

Anonymous said...

It is through urine and feces that we purge our body of infection.

Include about three to 4 tablespoons of vinegar to a bathtub stuffed with a
tiny sum of warm h2o and only bathe in it for fifteen
to twenty minutes. Finding the best vaginal yeast infection remedy that will work
for you will end all the disturbing symptoms
of the infection improving the quality of your life.

My webpage - yeast infection and pregnancy risk

Anonymous said...

Especially, Facebook the social networking website that
was a hub for youngsters when it was launched is now a market place where
people not only try to flaunt their services and products rather try to sell their services too.
A lot of organizations do not recognize Facebook, so it could be a enormous
benefit to you if you construct a sizable fan-page and have
thousands of followers. It gives you info such as fan interaction
and visitor demographics but it is limited and can't provide info on sources of traffic, keyword data and other sophisticated data.

Feel free to surf to my web site: http://ilovedogs.org.uk/police-dog-training-is-important.html

Anonymous said...

Search for professional Internet Marketing Companies India and let an experienced copy writer craft eye-grabbing ad content for your business.
Robert Riohe is a well-known author, he has been writing different blogs on different topics like health,nutrition,supplements etc.
If this kind of business you are looking for or planning to
go into just for the reason that you wanted to consult or even handle those promotions for other businesses, well then, make sure that don’t fail to notice the opportunity to point out those costumers or clients of yours who are potentials in which you grow your own business with the very techniques you wanted to provide to them.


Check out my blog post :: Internet Marketing Tips

Anonymous said...

" A good tip is to weblog about things related to your industry with out giving away something which you could be making cash from. Keep on experimenting but learn form the past mistakes and do not try to implement those in the future plans. Make sure that your subscription box is very noticeable.

Also visit my page ... internet Marketing techniques

Anonymous said...

It was developed by Walter L. Let me tell you a quick story about the
beauty of filling up on a paleo diet breakfast.
Long Hair on the Paleo Diet: Omega-3s.

my page ... the paleo diet and alcohol

Anonymous said...

(Thank you rounds are always welcome, of course. Anna had been looking through my phone while I was naked.

Theme Format: It is almost like standard format of the
pub quiz.

Also visit my homepage pub quiz amsterdam

Anonymous said...

Natural remedies are deemed highly efficient, cost effective, and significantly safe
to use. Implementing these changes in your life, will be effective remedies against recurrent yeast infections, when undertaken with a holistic yeast infection treatment program
that will kill the yeast infection from the inside out.
Get the answers you're looking for.

my web blog - vaginal yeast infection and diabetes
My web page - can you get a yeast infection after period

Anonymous said...

Some were practical, of course, but others were psychological and emotional.
Anna had been looking through my phone while I was naked. Theme Format: It is
almost like standard format of the pub quiz.

Here is my homepage clever pub quiz names

Anonymous said...

Chords introduce harmony into music and it is the effects created by chords that produce the inspiration
behind so much music and make it so satisfying both to listen to and to
play. Www. offers free online piano lessons.

Visit my web site :: piano chords america the beautiful

Anonymous said...

Simple and Easy to Create Recipes with clear step by step instructions you will be able to produce paleo friendly meals that get rave reviews from friends and family every- time.
Other typical tasks were gathering wood,
shelter building, digging, carrying a variety of
heavy items, tool construction and dancing.

The Paleo Gluten Free Diet has many health claims.



Look at my web-site :: paleo diet acne rosacea

Anonymous said...

The irritation could then spread in the baby's buttocks and upper thigh area, as well as the genitals. A man can develop a yeast infection in various ways. Seek medical or professional help.

my web page ... yeast infection and bleeding
My webpage :: how to cure a yeast infection at home fast

Anonymous said...

There are many sources to choose from that can offer simple
solutions to the problems you are experiencing with your canine.
Bond With Your Dog Through Play. Dog obedience training is a bit more than trained
responses.

Look into my webpage: cmc dog training and boarding

Anonymous said...

He will know when he’s done something bad or good.
Another tip is to start with the basic skills. We turn off
the TV.

Here is my web blog ... agility dog training austin

Anonymous said...

The oil of oregano, an effective herb is also a natural cure, with a high content of carvacol
in it being very effective if taken internally every day.
Are you looking to get rid of troublesome yeast infections.
Although the treatment has been successful for many people with Candida, be warned
that some of the side effects may include excessive vaginal discharge, discomfort and burning in the vaginal area.



Here is my website ... yeast infection And Yogurt

Anonymous said...

If you're planning a vacation with your family or friends to have endless fun and adventure, you must be looking for fishing kayaks and other accessories. Saturn inflatable kayaks are also an affordable option with many kayak models starting at $500. Now let us look at the specific needs of a kayak fishermen when it comes to his craft.

Here is my web-site: budget truck rental

Anonymous said...

Narrow blood vessels lie alongside the intestines of
the earthworm and they absorb the nutrients from the alimentary canal feeding the
rest of the body. At the end of each round read out the cumulative scores.

The decline of the East side blues scene was disheartening, but, it also gave
rise to the need for a fresh start, which came in the form
of the next blues-only venue, Antone's, founded by the late Clifford Antone, during the summer of 1975.

My blog post ... pub Quiz names

Anonymous said...

(Thank you rounds are always welcome, of course. At the end of each round read out
the cumulative scores. Ask your local club to run this
for you.

Have a look at my homepage :: Free quiz Answer sheets

Anonymous said...

The decor on the inside of the restaurant is absolutely beautiful.
Brazenhead is a great place to go with your family or for a
business lunch or dinner, but if you are looking for a party atmosphere, this
isn't it. Ask your local club to run this for you.

My web site: pub quiz answers and questions

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...