Wednesday, June 9, 2010

I Never Dreamed That I'd Lose Somebody Like You

Uh-oh! It's time for another essay...


I'm sure many of you think you have one. Or maybe you've just used the term once or twice.

In your life, have you ever thought about the "one that got away"?

Probably.

But not this chick. Nope. I just don't believe in it.

I hear it a lot, and I find it's mostly men who look back sadly about the one that got away. It's strange. Even an ex used to speak about the one that got away from him about ten years prior to me. Another guy was about to get married, yet called a different woman "the one that got away". A few of my buddies have said similar things.

I never know whether to smack them or feel sorry for them.

Think about it. These women didn't "get away" - they're gone for a reason. Something did not work. Labeling them as the ones who got away is saying that they're the ones you're meant to be with; saying they're "it" for you, the love of your life.

But no. They're not. Know why?

If they were right for you, they would've come back to you. And if you really believed in it, you would've eventually gotten them back one way or another. They didn't. You didn't. At some point the window of opportunity closes.

I've had exes and guys I briefly dated call me the "one that got away". And I HAVE gotten back together with an ex after half a year apart. But for all of em? I got away. And I got away because I wasn't "the one".

The "one that got away" only exists in fishing. But maybe that slimy bastard who wriggled off your hook just wasn't meant to be yours.


But don't fret. There's plenty of fish in the sea. And those things are bitin'.

(Trust me, enough dudes on that site have told me so. Ugh.)

44 comments:

Ciavarro said...

Plenty of Fish is the worst name for a dating site.

Fish are dumb and smell.

If I wanted to date someone like that, I'd move to Thunder Bay.

Kris said...

HA!

I've never been to Thunder Bay, but now I know don't need to.

Anonymous said...

IMO If you're ever with a guy who has a 'one who got away' - walk. No one likes a s.o. who holds a flame for someone else esp. years later. Unless their s.o. sadly passed away or something, that's totally different.

Mike D. said...

This is a bit funny because I'm pretty sure I'm one of the guys that told you that you were the one that got away. I guess you didn't believe me, eh?

Mancrab said...

I'm your 1 that got a way. ;)

Paul said...

I'll finish the sentence..

The one that got away, because I was a douchebag,and now, only because you're gone, i'm left to reflect on our time and have realized in fact, my douchbaggery could have been avoided. It is too late.

Plus.. she moved to the YUKON.. FUCK THAT. lol

k said...

Personally I wouldn't condemn someone that's used that phrase. Ideally it's recognition. I know that i've treated people unkindly. Not necessarily intentionally, but just due to circumstance.People progress based on experience. It would be nice to be able to wipe it all but unfortunately, that just does not happen easily.I'm digressing. I will say that if someone you like consistently raises comparisons to an ex, some comeuppance would be in line. Talking about an ex with a current girl is a scumbag thing to do. Good luck.

Kris said...

Anon - Sometimes guys don't quite realize that they're sayin' to their chicks. ;)

D - We never dated. Does that count? Heh.

Mancrab - That's true! But I'm coming back for ya!

Paul - Wasn't mean to be, sweetie. Must've been a reason you were a douchebag. Timing can be a huge reason too.

K - I'm not condemning anyone. Not at all. But if the relationship didn't work, and there is NO chance to reuniting, then it was more of "a relationship that got away". Whether timing or circumstances, there are reason it didn't and will not work. Y'know? Again, it's all my opinion. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes I agree, but if I was with someone who told me that 10 years ago there was 'the one who got away' it would make me feel horrible, like some sad runner up that was always secretly compared to the 'one'. No one should feel like that.

Kris said...

Yeah. And that's pretty much how I did feel. But I don't think he realized I'd feel like that... guys seem to see things way differently than girls do. I think. Oh well. I'm a sad runner up no longer... I was disqualified from the race for bad beahviour! ;)

Anonymous said...

Yea when I read that I could only imagine how you felt. Especially if you were really into said guy. I've always wanted an excuse to throw a beer in some persons face and storm out (just the beer not the glass). I give kudos to anyone who's ever done it, especially if this is the bad behaviour you are talking about.

Kris said...

Haha, no... I really didn't have bad behaviour. It just didn't work out. I've never thrown a beer in anyone's face, because that would be cruel to the delicious beer. I DID once spit iced tea in someone's face while we were fighting. Felt really bad about it after. And hell, I was 18.

Anonymous said...

The only way to recover from saying that is "I thought she was the one that got away until I met you. You changed everything." that would be it for the win.

Kris said...

Yeah. But it didn't happen that way. I'm alright with it - I don't expect fairytales. :)

Anonymous said...

Frank Zappa said it best... Broken Hearts Are For Assholes ;)

Kris said...

Ah, I've been an asshole a few times then. Can't disagree with Zappa. He also said "beauty is a pair of shoes that makes ya wanna die".

Anonymous said...

Frank was the best. If you haven't seen this, watch it in it's entirety. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ISil7IHzxc

ghost said...

that fish wont hunt. wait...that's not quite right.

Kris said...

Heh.

Princess Pessimism said...

Ive been that girl...but every single guy who its ended with has called me back and said that losing me was the stupidest thing theyd ever done, or was the worst decision theyd ever made...i was the best girlfriend they ever had etc etc etc (after cheating, or lying or doing whatever). Its taken all the way from 2 months to 3 years for me to get this phone call - but I have ALWAYS gotten it. Every single ex ive ever had, has called me with the same thing.

And my question to them is always the same "If I was the best girlfriend you ever had, and losing me was the worst mistake of your life - whyd you let me go" and when they stumble for an answer, I hang up.

Kris said...

Man, you and I have lots in common. We need to go for drinks and girl talk real soon-like.

Shevy said...

lmao. I love it! From one princess to another, to another... it always seems to go that way. Some guys just don't know a good thing when they see it... or have it for that matter.

The funniest thing is that they always, always come back. Thankfully, by the time they do, I have moved on, realized why they weren't right for me in the first place, and then been able to be quite comfortable in my ability to tell them they missed out.

Unfortunately, I can also see from my end a few mistakes I made in my past where a missed out on dating some amazing guys because I was stupid. Lessons learned... but I know that I'm some guy's dream girl... I just haven't met him yet. ;)

Alyson said...

My ex had a "one that got away" and NEVER let me forget how much better, smarter, prettier and nicer she was than me. Clearly it didn't last long.

"The one that got away" is code for "the one I'm not over yet".

Kris said...

Shev - Same here... but MAN, I miss having a boyfriend.

Alyson - Wow. I've had that to an extent, but still... not like that. Hope you kicked his ass out the door.

Shevy said...

Dude... me too. There are some days when a hug from someone who's goal in life is to make you smile is all you want...

I find myself constantly scoping out boys to see if they are cute... and I'm constantly bothering to care. Sigh... As soon as I give up, something will happen... or at least it has in the past... Stupid men. Like I said, sometimes being fabulous seems so not worth it...

Kris said...

I'm the same way - I just don't care, too. The whole process is just too much.

Anonymous said...

i have found someone very special after i took the course "calling in the one- 7 weeks to finding the love of your life" you can purchase the book and do it on your own for less than 20 bones! calling in the one is more about calling in yourself and removing your obstacles to great love.

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