Friday, July 23, 2010

I Love The Way You Love, But I Hate The Way I'm Supposed To Love You Back

My brain is currently working on a million existing-yet-non-existent projects at the moment.

Because of this, channeling it to focus on one subject is just about impossible.

So instead we have a Friday Post of Random Past Stuff.

Mmmkay?


So I did it again. Went back and read some old blog posts.

This time I went back to the summer of '08. When I moved to Toronto and was trying to make it my own. It's giving me more of a push to do it again - but this time? Better.

Come along for a trip down memory lane (actually, it's more of a highway...). If there's too much reading involved, hey - I understand. School's out; Alice told me.


Blast-o From The Past-o # 1: Ah, Joey. One of my favourite songs ever. And I still love it, although I lived it in some ways. Concrete Blonde - you were underrated. (The Vampire Song? The best.)

Blast-o From The Past-o #2:  Agoraphobia, or something like it. I remember exactly how I felt at the time. It was strange, and I felt like a stranger. Luckily, it passed. Go figure that I'd give anything to be back in that 'hood, only under very different circumstances; a different situation entirely. I'm not the same person.

Blast-o From The Past-o #3: With a few minor (major) changes, this post could be about me right now. sorta. But it's been awhile since I posed drunk beside a recycling bin.


Here's a song I listened to a lot in 07/08. I sing it too loud and too often, and I am unapologetic.

Apparently it's not about love - it's about not being in love, and not caring. But hey, it's catchy!

Daniel Johns is often sad and just kinda lovely.






23 comments:

Blarin' Whale said...

I was very impressed with Young Modern. Daniel and I both suffered through bouts of something called Reiter's Syndrome, although at different times in our lives.

Did you steal my blasto from the pasto??? I thought I made it up. I demand compensation.

Kris said...

You can demand what ya want, Sharon Shale. I think I made it up first, and you copied me like always.

Let's be friends and put this all behind us. Thanks.

Flarin' Gale said...

Y'know, I do have a lawyer, so you best watch yo'self. And check yo'self before you wreck yo'self.

Keir said...

I was just thinking that it's about time for another round of Shameless Revisionism at the old D.V. Hell, it's summer time, and I'm still on vacation for another two days, so why not?

Princess Pessimism said...

I HEART Concrete Blond!!! And I have to say, that Jonestown is their best.

Kris said...

Keir - The more shameless, the better! I'll be checking regularly, mister!

Princess - Whatever happened to 'em? I could Google the answer, but I'm lazy. :)

Mike D. said...

I remember reading back then. Things are really different now, eh?

Kris said...

Heh. Juuuust a li'l bit. ;)

screetus said...

2008? When did that happen?

Kris said...

That's the problem, I can't remember!

Anonymous said...

Millionaire say
Got a big shot deal
And thrown it all away but
But I'm not too sure
How I'm supposed to feel
Or what I'm supposed to say
But I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle every day
And I miss you love

Make room for the pray
'Cause I'm coming in
With what I wanna say but
It's gonna hurt
And I love the pain
A breeding ground for hate but...

I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back

It's just a fad
Part of the teen, teenage angst brigade and
I'm not, not sure,
Not too sure how it feels
To handle everyday
Like the one that just past
In the crowds of all the people

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

Remember today
I've no respect for you
And I miss you love
And I miss you love

I love the way you love
But I hate the way
I'm supposed to love you back



Very telling lyrics, Kris.

Kris said...

Telling? How so?

They just tell me to sing 'em loud enough that my dog runs away. Is that what they're telling you, too?

Anonymous said...

Don't you think it tells us about your love life, past and current?

Kris said...

Um, no. I don't think it does at all.

But I would absolutely love to hear why you think so.

Anonymous said...

I've no respect for you, but I miss you still. What a horrible feeling, someone who has done you so wrong, yet you still adore them in some weird way. fuck. that.

Kris said...

That's what you think this song is saying about me & my love life?

Nope.

I just like the song. I like Silverchair.

So I don't really know what you're goin' on about, that is tells you something about my past and current love life.

No parallels.

You're right - someone does ya wrong, screw em. Bye bye!

Anonymous said...

There's two different anonymous's here. I was just talking about the song, no idea what the junk the other anon was talking about.

Kris said...

Hahahaha - whoops! Sorry, I can't always anonymous posters apart.

In that case, I agree with you comment completely. ;)

Anonymous said...

Question for you: do you ever wonder what would have happened if you hadn't met said boi, who appears helped you move to the city and all that? Do you feel you are right back where you started in some weird way? Or is it totally different? not implying anything here, just genuinely asking.

Kris said...

Hmmm.

Well... yes, a big part of me moving to Toronto was cuz of my ex. So I'm not sure. Maybe I never would have moved to Toronto at all, if not for him.

So, in some ways I feel a bit like I'm where I started - but different. Hard to explain. I know what I want now. I'm not scared or lost. When I go back, I won't feel like a stranger or that I don't belong. So while last time I had a partner and someone with me, this time I have a better mindset. And it's all on my own terms, cuz all I have is me.

Y'know?

Maybe I'm silly. But I'm oddly ok with that.

Anonymous said...

Not silly. That's a great mindset to have. Everything happens for a reason I suppose; for better or worse - or whatever happens in between. A sense of belonging sans partnership is a great place to start.

D. Johns said...

Diorama was a brilliant record. Way, way under-rated.

Kris said...

I find that there's a lot of closet Silverchair fans... who knew?

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