Wednesday, July 21, 2010

No More Will My Green Sea Go Turn A Deeper Blue

Today I'll be going to my second counseling appointment.

Is that too personal? Should I keep that to myself?

Maybe.

I wasn't going to mention it on this very public blog, for fear of catty comments from the peanut gallery. And frankly, it really is no one's business but my own. But then I recalled all the emails and messages I've received from people who could relate to my posts about depression, and that it helped them to know that someone else felt the same. So why stop now?

I meant to go into counseling about 5 years ago. There are many years of events and issues that have built up in a very bad way. Put 'em together with present ones and, as you've read, I hit a breaking point. Not so good, Al.

Will it help? I can't be sure. But it's worth a shot. Some people swear by it. Putting everything out there to a stranger with no opinions, no bias, and no judgement? Yeah. I'm in. Luckily she's well-stocked with Kleenex.

Thankfully, after this particular session, I'll be meeting up with friends for a night of fun. It's all part of my "Awesometastic New Year o' Bein' Happy".

With that, I leave you all with one of my favourite songs. I may not be a huge Rolling Stones fan necessarily, but the songs I likes? I likes 'em a lot.






22 comments:

Gage said...

go for it, I mean it might help right? I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't do the same.

I'm in the middle of writing a post that I may or may not end up sharing...but I find the blog to be a good outlet as I'm sure you do, so let loose!

Kris said...

I definitely use blogs as an outlet. Maybe a little TOO much. It can help.

Shevy said...

I went when I just couldn't cope with crap on my own anymore... it didn't seem to matter how many people I talked this thing through with, it never got any easier to deal with...

Finally when I did talk to a counsellor it really helped... sometimes having someone else explain things to you... and someone who knows nothing about you or the situation can really help.

big hugs xo

Queenie said...

I've had people turn their nose up at the mention of therapy, "Why are you just paying someone ot listen to your problems?". I've got more insight from one therapy session than I have from 5 months on the phone with friends. That's not to say that I don't need my friends but it's good to talk to someone who is professional, outside of the bubble and on the outside looking in. For years, I went to a woman therapist and I yawned through it. I'm not sure why but I felt as if I were being judged, probably an issue of mine. I found a man therapist who was in his 60's and wise beyond my years. Talk about an eye opener. There is no shame in going to a therapist. Shame comes from those who are not educated about it and from others who don't want to be in touch with their feelings. We all have issues and emotions and some of us are just more pro-active about dealing with them. You've made a great step in the right direction and I know it will be so beneficial for you and will pay off in time.

Kris said...

Shev - It's almost like we're related ;) Hugs back atcha!

Queenie - Thanks, chick. Glad to hear it helped... cuz you're right, it's NOT the same thing as talking to friends. I think it'll help me too.

Caesar and Schultz said...

i found that one of the best parts of therapy was just having an appointment booked.
it didn't matter how soon it was - just knowing that if i was feeling anxious about something - there would be a time and place to address it. this really helped to take a lot of the 'panic' out of the current situation.

anyhoo, take care duck.
and HAPPY K NEW YEAR!

le bear

Norway said...

It takes courage to seek help and it takes gumption to tell people about it. I used to think that getting help would change me, make me different than I wanted to be. But you don't need to be perpetually down to be cool :) Keep us posted. It's always darkest before the dawn.. and all that. Surround yourself with good people who put you first. you'll do great.

Kris said...

You're right. When I booked my first appointment, I felt relieved (also nervous, because I'd never been to an appointment like that before). But knowing I'd taken the step helped.

I love the comments in here so far. Smart chicks know that counseling is a good idea sometimes.

:)

Kris said...

Norway - I always kinda thought that too. But you can have a deeper side, or a real knowledge of sadness that you carry around, without BEING that sad yourself.

Thanks for the nice words :)

Mike D. said...

I'm proud of you.

Kris said...

I don't think I deserve it, but thanks D. :)

Norway said...

Exactly! Not to get too personal but I was physically assaulted when I was a teenager. Never really thought about it or dealt with it, it just came up in therapy one day years later and I totally lost my shit about it. So expect stuff to come up you didn't think about, and if you lose your shit, well that's apart of the healing process.

tranquilized bliss said...

I'm glad you're seeking therapy, Shambled. Frankly, having been a follower of your blog for the past year and a half, I haven't been able to make sense of some of your choices and the manner in which you lead your life. It's all fun and games until reality sets in.

I went to therapy for six months and the helpful thing about it was facing the truth. I figure you will discover the same and while it can be a painful exercise, at least it's a start to help yourself figure out how to change course for the better.

I commend you for starting therapy and hope you stick with it for at least four to six months, if not longer if you think it benefits you. Hopefully you won't require any drugs or self-medication to get you out of your pain.

Keep us posted on your progress. It's good of you to open yourself up to strangers. We're not here to watch you sink.

"The story of life is quicker than the wink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye, until we meet again."

Kris said...

Norway - Yeah, that's already happened in some ways. It's good. :)

Tranq. Bliss - I'm not sure what you mean about choices I've made, or how everything is "fun and games". You'll have to explain that part to me, if you don't mind. What choices did I make that didn't make sense? How did I live like everything was fun & games? Perhaps my blog shows things in a weird light, because there hasn't been much fun or games in the past few years.

Anyway.

I plan to stick with it, I think it's important that I do. I've refused medication in the past, I'd do it again. No medicating this chick. A little perspective will go a long way. You're absolutely right about facing the truth - that much I've already seen, and I know I'll see more.

:)

tranquilized bliss said...

I'd rather not cite any examples, K. It's your life and I'm not here to judge you. You might be correct that your blog posts sometimes may show things in a weird light but weird only means how I'm interpreting something. It's most likely not weird to you. But like you said. A little perspective does go a long way. In therapy, you do about mmmm, 85 to 90% of the talking? At least that's what it seemed like when I went through it. It was cathartic but painful. And the therapist did not have any miracle cure. Time is a salve and I suspect it's one that will work its way through you until you're able to reclaim your peace of mind.

Anonymous said...

Once again you have rude commenters, Kris. Pay no mind to em.

Kris said...

My own fault, that's what I sign up for! :)

ghost said...

howd it go?

Kris said...

Pretty good! No crying this time.

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Get on that.

Kris said...

Already a step ahead of you.

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