A conversation I had the other day furthered the fact that it's the not-so-good guys that give ACTUAL good guys a bad name.
Thinking about this reminded me of someone; someone I don't know very well at all. We met under weird circumstances on what was sadly a pretty nasty night for me.
Does everyone remember the final hockey game at this past Olympics? Of course you do. Well, I do too.
The game was awesome. The city of Toronto absolutely came alive for it. You could practically taste the excitement.
But after the game? For me, shit went downhill. Since specific details are not necessarily needed for the point of this story, I'm gonna keep them out. In some ways it was one of the worst nights I've had. Ever.
Let's just say people were drunk, purposefully nasty things were said, worse things were done, and this here blogger stood in the street bawling her eyes out. I had never felt so hurt and shocked by words - I ran away from the person I was with and stalked up the road with them shouting after me. I went past my apartment building. Instead of going home, I went to a pub.
Ignoring calls and messages, I sat at the bar. For the first time in my entire life, I had a pint by myself. I tried to calm myself down while watching the Closing Ceremonies. A guy came and sat in the empty seat beside me; there were a few others there and we all sat in silence, watching the TVs.
Eventually he started talking. Asked if I had watched the game. I had. Asked if i liked it. I did.
As we continued to talk, we learned that we had a lot in common. Liked the same music, among other things. Talked about relationships; how mine had just ended and why it was sad and complicated. He lived with his girlfriend, but could relate because he was breaking up with her the next day, apparently.
He said "I have to see you again. I have to."
I said I wasn't so sure.
He more or less begged. Said I was exactly what he wanted in a girl, everything he wished his soon-to-be-ex could be. He may or may not have had a few choice words about my ex letting a "girl like me" go.
Red flag, right?
We exchanged numbers, although I was very reluctant. Then we went outside and had a cigarette and I said I had to leave. I was uncomfortable, and still reeling from the evening I had.
As I started to leave, he pulled me in for a hug. When I pulled away, he quickly kissed me.
I said, "Look. You have a girlfriend. I'm going home to an ex-boyfriend that I still live with. This can't happen. It isn't fair to them, and it's not what I'm looking for."
When I got home, only the dogs were there to greet me. I tried to sleep so I could avoid dissecting the entire messed up night.
The texts started. The guy from the bar started sending messages telling me that I was beautiful, that he wanted to see me the next day, that I was amazing, that I was his perfect woman, etc. Imagining his girlfriend obliviously lying alone in bed like I was, while he was up the street sending me these messages... I erased him from my phone. I refused to be a part of that.
Eventually he got the hint.
As far as I know, he never did break up with her. She never knew he wanted to. I honestly feel for this girl that I'll never meet.
He, and others, are just part of that list of guys who give the real, honest and wonderful men, a very bad name.
So men... when we lack trust, or seem a bit unsure? Forgive us. We've had to deal with guys like this for way too long.