Sunday, August 8, 2010

I'm Just Tryin' To Reach You, I'm A Rebel With A Mission


For many, many... many... years, people have come to me for advice. Especially relationship advice. And yes, I also used to have an advice column. Whether or not I ever took my own advice is irrelevant (just cuz I said so), but other folks did.

I've recently realized that all my advice may have been more useless than originally thought. The answer to all relationships is actually very, very simple. Allow me to blow your mind with something you've heard before:

"Insert your name here" and "Insert other name here",
Sittin' in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-NG.
First comes love,
Then comes marriage
Then comes the baby in the baby carriage.


Wow.

It makes so much sense.

I've never kissed a boy in a tree. So, without that, I missed out on long love, marriage, babies and carriages?

Take note, friends. Unless you are making out in trees, your relationship is doomed to fail. Mark my words. So the next time you really like someone, and desperately want it to last....

Throw them in a tree, and climb up after 'em.

And with that, allow me to change subjects completely and throw you back to '87, when Anthony Kiedis had long hair and yours truly was a four-year old, singing this on her swing.

Surely, at that age, I was completely aware that this song was about him trying to kick all his drug habits. Right? Right.





Music Videos by VideoCure

20 comments:

Mike D. said...

If you wear those pigtails I'll let you kiss me in a tree.

Kris said...

I'll wear the pigtails, but I just might push you outta the tree!

Masuka said...

Agreed on the pigtails.. now... If only they were blonder... :P

Kris said...

Oh stop. Love me as I am, Masuka. Hahaha! Dark-haired, pigtailed and drinkin' a 50.

Mancrab said...

4 years old in 87! Jesus I'm old .

Kris said...

No, you're perfect.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the video.

Haven't heard that in a really long time.

Kris said...

:)

It takes me back, too. I've been singing it all weekend.

Anonymous said...

Have you ever seen them live?

Kris said...

Yup! I think I was about 16.... they played with STP and Fishbone. It was a good time.

ghost said...

right.

mother's milk. great album. and now im in the mood for more of that funky ass flea bass.

Kris said...

Good!

I love old RHCP. It makes me happy.

Friend said...

Who do you wish you had kissed in a tree, Kris?

If you had kissed Anthony in a tree, you may not be married to him.

Friend said...

I mean now married to him, sorry.

Kris said...

Hmm... married to Anthony? I own his biography, I've read about how the other chicks fared while dating him. I'll pass ;)

As for who I wish I had kissed
in a tree... let's just say, a boy who loved me. Vague and open-ended, just the way I like it!

screetus said...

Yet again your logic is impeccable. As is your pigtail.

Kris said...

I try my best... I try so hard that I even have a MATCHING pigtail on the other side.

screetus said...

You just blew my mind.

Friend said...

A boy who loved you? That really is vague.Only counts if you loved him back =)

Kris said...

I've been known to love a few ;)

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