Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Much Too Blind To See The Damage He's Done, Sometimes A Man Must Awake To Find That Really He Has No One

As I've mentioned in the past, this Shambled Rambler has accounts on a couple of dating sites. I joined awhile back when I was feeling particularly lonely and down (read: self-loathing), even though I'm really not looking and have no trouble meeting people. I rarely ever check my messages unless, yet again, I'm feeling especially sad and alone. 

Boo-friggin'-hoo, right?

Well, the other night I decided to wade through all the bajillion messages to pass a bit of time. That's the problem - it takes TOO much time. I 100% believe that some guys on there will message every single female they see, because the amount of messages are astounding. And some of the messages themselves are astounding. (Honestly? Guys really think half of this stuff will garner results with a chick? Wow.)

So I deleted the creepy messages, read the really sweet messages, rolled my eyes at the annoyingly cocky messages, and then I came across this li'l gem:

"so i take it people come and go out of ur life often"

 I should've ignored it, but I'm sometimes stupidly defensive. So I bit.

"Excuse me? What exactly does that mean?" was my reply.

Didn't take this dude long to respond.

"because u tend to make strangers wanna b ur friend. so ur obviously confident and its plan to see ur very attractive and suductive which leds me to belive u lead guys on and then sound em packin no? dont get me wrong u cant judge a book by its cover. u did say u might come off as wierd that makes me think ur not a shallow person but whats quirky that mean hyper? or horny? or just kinda different?"


He's literally picking out parts of my profile and throwing them at me. Yes, it does say that I'm pretty quirky (true, no?). And I did say that I sometimes seem weird (So?). And I can't recall, but I probably made a wise-ass comment about making friends with strangers. So, great. This guy knows how to read (he just forgot how to spell, apparently).

My response:

"That was one of the weirdest messages I've ever received on here. And pretty damn insulting, too.
No, I don't lead guys on.
No, I'm not a shallow person.
And no...quirky does not mean hyper or horny.
Look up the definition before you throw uneducated judgements around and don't bother me, please."

This is why I am not a big fan of dating sites. I kinda just wanna debate 'em, or tell them to leave me the hell alone.

Cuz, y'know.

I'm "quirky" like that.


BShurette said...

Let me define astounding. The idea that you would need any help from a dating site at all.

I find it amazing that you haven't already been snapped up by some stud from Parkdale. What gives!?

Kris said...

Ohh, Brian.

I don't need help from a dating site. Like I said, it's a boredom thing when I feel like crap about myself. A distraction.

As for being snapped up by someone from Parkdale? I'm not in Parkdale right now. And I haven't been snapped up otherwise because I haven't let anyone. Not really lookin'. Ya know? You know.

BShurette said...


Kris said...


ghost said...

ive never tried one so i cannot offer anything to the debate.

but, they are called dating sites and i really dislike the sham/facade/b.s. fest that dating is most of the time.

Kris said...

Agreed. I rarely call it "dating" unless it's getting more serious... I call it "hanging out". Less pressure. I despise dating pressure.

BShurette said...

I call it "I'm flying out this weekend, calling you, picking you up, going for dinner, drinks, party, and fun".

Ugh, dating, as if.

ANDREW said...

What are the odds we both post a rant the same day.

I can't help but think after getting your response the dude was thinking "So you're telling me there's a chance." Dumb & Dumber styles.

Kris said...

Brian - Ha! Interesting description.

Andrew - Uh-oh, y'think? I'll have to check my msgs. Ew.

Princess Pessimism said...

Krissy...REALLY? Dating sites? Ugh - i hope youve learned your lesson on there...douchebags online. Ugh.

Anonymous said...

I hate those dating sites. That's why when I tried them, I only posted conehead photos of myself. Strangely enough, I seemed to get a lot of messages from women in the former Soviet Union.

Kris said...

Princess - Hahaha... they're not all douchebags, to be honest. But they offer some form of entertainment.

screetus - HA! Well played, mister. Hey, some people find their future spouse online. I can't discount dating sites completely.

PatZ said...

you mean those eHarmony ads lie about it being super duper awesome all day every day 24/7?

i don't know if i can accept that...

BShurette said...

I figure the clasification may get me a date 9 million miles away. Likely, no. Just checking in.

Fingers X'd. :0

Anonymous said...

I spelled that wrong. I failed.

Kris said...

Pat - Oh no, that one's for real. In fact, I found the love of my life through there. It matched me up, and after just one message we knew we were meant to be. We've been together for 7 years now....oh... wait. I think I'm lying.

Brian - You mean a "hang out" 9 million miles away, right? A "hang out".

Masuka said...

what an ass hat.

At least he took the time to try to get to know you through what you put on there no? Better than "hey baby wanna pound?"

Kris said...

Yeah, I guess?

But neither of those types of messages work. At least not for me.

Guys, some advice - Talk about the things a girl has in her profile, but not in a way that displays your asshat-ery. Such as "Hey, I really like your Alice in Chains shirt in that pic. Great band. What else do you listen to?"


"You like beer and Big Macs? Me too! What's your favourite bar in Toronto?"

Y'see? Lack of asshat-ery.

Mike D. said...

I've never used a dating site, I'm scared of crazies. Can't you just set me up Kris?

Kris said...

Sure. Send me a dating profile, I'll pass it on to all my friends. ;)

Or hell, just post it here! Heh.

Anonymous said...

If I saw you on a dating site my message would be something like:

You are beautiful. You seem fun and smart and self-aware. I'm sure you get a lot of men asking you out, but I would really love to take you on a picnic by the lake. If that seems too much like a date, we could always talk over beers on a patio. Or take a walk in High Park. Whatever you choose, I guarantee that I would have a great time. I'd love the chance to give you a great time, too.

BShurette said...

I was drunk when I wrote that last post. What the hell?

Kris said...

Which one? You wrote the anonymous one?

BShurette said...

No, this one - "I figure the clasification may get me a date 9 million miles away. Likely, no. Just checking in."

I couldn't spell and what the hell was I saying???

Holy drunk flirt that made no sense. I must avoid the vodka when I am reading your blog. ;)

Kris said...


In that case... Anonymous person - well done. Not a bad msg. It could work.

Brian - Avoid the vodka at all costs! Except that you entertain me, so maybe the vodka is ok. I should make you guest post while drunk.

BShurette said...

Oh wow, I have written some pretty funny shit while hammered. In my early Tweeting days it was out of hand. I spent a lot of mornings deleting my work.

I'll make it a habit to drunk post. Hopefully I can make you laugh.

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