Wednesday, September 29, 2010

We Could Plant A House, We Could Build A Tree

Lovely. Your ol' pal Kris is experiencing the triumphantly horrible return of the "Low Days". They're well-documented throughout this bitch-ful blog and, as we all know, the ever-present depression only serves to fuel their jerk-infested fire.

You know the days I mean. When nothing goes right. Everyone seems like they're out to hurt you. All news is bad news. Bullshit is plentiful. Things that were on the upswing drastically changed directions. People suck, things suck, I suck, you suck.

Rainbows, lollipops and evil Satanic monkeys. Yep.

And so, since it looks like these low days have gotten comfortable and are sticking around for awhile, I'm gonna need your help. Can ya handle it?



Here we go...

- Don't let me give up the Toronto job hunt. Lie to me if you have to, but tell me I need to keep going. Smack me on the head and remind me that I don't want to be in Niagara forever.

- Warn me if you think I'm dating someone very, very wrong for me, just because I sometimes get lonely. That's what I do. People like to remind me of it often. Keep reminding me. (And send me a list of compatible men, complete with headshots and musical tastes. Thanks.)

- Don't beat me up for any mistakes or bad decisions I've made. That doesn't help. Trust me, I'm learning on my own. Besides, remember that time? Yeah. I don't bug you about that now do I? I do? Sorry.

- Don't ever, EVER allow me to become a cat lady. I don't like cats much. They hate Daisy.

- Tell me over and over that "doctors are my friends... doctors are my friends..."

And lastly...  please deliver one awesome Toronto job, one wicked apartment, one amazing boyfriend... and a Big Mac, 5 beers and a cheesecake. That'd be ever so helpful.

I'm so happy to have friends like you guys. Shucks.


36 comments:

blepharisma said...

I thought "Musical tastes" said "mustaches".

Kris said...

I'd prefer a dude without one, I think. They remind me of Dad. In my eyes, only Dad should have an awesome 'stache!

Captain Planet said...

Does your resume say you live in St. Catherine's ? If so anyway you can borrow a friends Toronto address and put that on there instead? Pretend. Trust me I had to put I lived in another city before I did to get a job there. It worked.

Second, do you have friends in the city? Will someone you trust take care of your pooch while you are away? Going in person to places will help. You're charming and smart people can't tell that by a resume. Making in person connections seems, well, key. Do a seven day TO trip. resumes in hand. Last but not least, tweet and ask people to retweet. it helps.

You need to couch surf, spend a week in the city. Go on foot. I'm certain someone will put you up. It will break the pattern before you get too low again. it's hard to start over. All of this is easier said than done, but from the sounds of it you need to do this.

Kris said...

My resume doesn't mention St. Catharines at all - plus, I have a 416 cell number. :)

I AM planning to stay in Toronto soon to do just that - hit the pavement. I'm just waiting on a couple possible interviews before I make final plans for it, so I can do it all at once. But you're definitely right.

Thanks for the tips!

Captain Planet said...

Bah. Then you're good. It's literally, a matter of time. All that boyfriend, beer and bigmac stuff will fall into place in the city.

Kris said...

I won't lie, I'm most excited for the Big Mac stuff.

Captain Planet said...

Yea well, maybe if you got a job at McDonalds all your problems would be solved.

Kris said...

Then I'd become extremely fat, and then more lonely.

Captain Planet said...

Dudes love fat chicks. You look like one of those girls who can barely gain a pound if she wants to, so I bet you're just fine. In the mean time,

Captain Planet said...

I forget to finish my thoughts. ahem. IN THE MEAN TIME, go ahead, raise the bar for yourself.. have a 'career' path. mock those other girls with their big mac butts.

RealSuperKeith said...

Yo-yo-yo

1) trying my best to help ya on the job front – fingers crossed! Most of it is about networking, networking, networking as a good chunk of the jobs out there form part of the so-called “hidden” job market (Captain Planet had some good tips up there too – that’s why he/she is probably also known as Il Capitano del Mondo) – I’ll keep sending you info/contacts/leads as I hear/see them - so keep checking your email inbox

2) The D word – yeah – been close so I know what you’re talking about – but a good support system (athletic, hose or otherwise), looking at the bright side as often as possible (please no rose-coloured glasses though) and music (the real or random-made-up kind) helps a lot. Oh and laughter, lots and lots of laughter. And smiles. Brightens up many a mood and room. You’ve probably heard this already but you know what they say - repeat/repeat/repeat. Chin up K!
#glasshalffull #randommadeupsongs #laughterforlaughterssake #sourire

3) a BF? Hmmmm…most of my buds are taken. I do know/work with some single guys – however many are probably not your style…

either they're a) very Bay Streetish, cocky assholes with shitty taste in music…(I know, I know what’s a nice guy like me working with those kinds in that industry – long story – will explain over a few 50s some time)

or b) you’d eat them alive. But then again I meet new people all the time…so I’ll have to keep ya posted on that one. BTW - would a doctor do? :)

4) why am I leaving twitter hashtags on your blog – been doing that on my email messages too – spending WAY too much time on twitter…

5) Like you, I’m not impressed with getting bashed for steering or getting steered the wrong way. If those people are so smart why couldn’t they provide the right guidance BEFORE we’d mess up? Fucking geniuses. My mottos: Live & Learn and Live & let Live.

6) McDo’s? I’m on RoMac’s black list so that’s a tough one. But Grimace on the other hand…Grimace owes me big…Cheesecake - yes. Beers – totally.

Now if you’ll excuse me – I’ve got some ironing to do...hah

k said...

Hey. Haven't commented here in a while but..what the hell. So positive reenforcement. As far as potential other halves go, there's always going to be leeway between one you spend several years with and the next. Don't beat yourself up because a trust fund millionaire hasn't materialized on your doorstep. You have what it takes,you'll be fine.

Kris said...

Cpt Planet - I shall line my career path with McDonalds fries! (Does that even make sense? ....no.)

Keith! - You are full of awesome. I wouldn't know where to start with that one... all good stuff! It give it a "Yay!"

k - Heh. I don't want a trust fund millionaire. Other people's money frightens me, to be honest. I'd just eventually like a normal dude who kinda digs me :) I'm willing to wait for a good one. Or... try to. Ha! And thanks.

Mike D. said...

I could help you with the boyfriend thing. I'll even buy you a big Mac. That's how you know I'm a good boy.

Masuka said...

Workin' on the job front for ya.. and my bed is always open... uhh the spare one! oakley may demand to cuddle with you though.

Kris said...

D - You are good boy.

Masuka - I love Oakley. I'd demand cuddles from HIM.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your 'caught' blog, and I thought things were really getting better for you. Your mindset seemed switched and more positive. Is it the depression that makes you worse again?

Kris said...

Well, yes. It does make things worse, of course. But it's also situations. Circumstances. Random stuff.

The posts on my other blog still stand true, though. Things aren't great, but I'm fighting. And learning. And eating Big Macs, at times.

Thanks for reading both :)

Anonymous said...

I'm always reading both of them. This one is so entertaining and witty, the other one lets us all in to your head. Put together, it's like a story and we can't wait for our hero to win. And you certainly will.

Kris said...

Jeepers. Thanks for the nice words, Anon.

Coop said...

It's starting to get too cold out for my liking. Warm it up Kris?

Kris said...

I'm about to, Coop. I'm about to. ;)

SmartGuy said...

Since we all know you're a catch and from reading all the comments I know we'd all do handstands and backflips to have a chance with you... why don't you turn your blog into a Bachelorette competition? A must read! We can compete! Whatdya think?

Kris said...

That's a bit frightening. But if you wanna email pictures of you doing backflips, I'd be glad to post em.

Born with a big mouth! said...

awe. First, I love you Oh blog sister of mine. I am back to having some of the same days. i have actually blogged a few times about it, but "drafted" them instead of publishing them. I too, want the big mac, boyfriend, AND a job that I love ....not just one that pays the bills. I can tell you ...at my old age of 35, DO NOT SIT AND MOPE too much. You are at he perfect age to decide to take charge and REALLY change the way you think. All the bad days are getting you ready - to be more thankful when the good days come. Next time you have a down day...try what i do, and list a few things you have to be thankful for that others do not. I know, silly, but I am thankful I found your blog....so that's always on my list!

Kris said...

You are awesome, girly. And I try to do that - make a list of the things I'm grateful for. Next time, I'll make a huge list and put it up by my desk just to remind me. :)

Jonathan said...

Well ... you could always travel the world with me instead of following the norm, getting a job, etc ... booooooring ...

Anyways, I'm off to bed and I'll see you in my dreams ... I'll tell you about them tomorrow ... I really hope you're a blond in my dreams again ...

Kris said...

Well maybe next time you should TELL me when you're headed to Chile, and I'll jump in yer suitcase.

I'll bring a blonde wig just to shut ya up.

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