Monday, September 27, 2010

We've Had Our Share Of Hard Times, But That's The Price We Paid

Dear Grape & Wine Festival 2010,

I feel like we need to talk.

First of all - I'm officially changing your name to Drunk Fest. Really, that's what you are. You're Christmas for the imbibers, and you give us all an excuse to drink in the streets.

I'm not complaining. Just stating facts.

This year I dubbed myself Sober Sally, and tagged along for the ride.

Saw some bands. Saw some people. Saw some grapes. (That's a lie. I saw no grapes.)


These are the faces of Drunk Fest fans. Can you sense their excitement?

I will hand it to you, Festival o' Alcohol.... you do give me an excuse to creep in the background of other people's pictures.
And we all know that's a past-time of mine. 

That and ballroom dancing.


See? Creep, creep.

I must've pissed off the Grape & Wine gods, though.

Surely I've done something to make you very, very angry with me.

Is it because I took pics that my Cait will kill me for posting? 

Is it because I attempted to breakdance in front of people after doing the Carlton dance?

Or wait... oh no...


I know what I did.

I couldn't leave well enough alone.

I could've let Tim & his band do the Skid Row songs by themselves.

But no. Of course not. That's crazy talk.


Apparently stealing a dude's hat makes me think I suddenly have magical powers that allow me to hit Sebastian Bach's high notes.

I cannot. Ever.

So to all the innocent bystanders and audience-folk.... I apologize. Truly.


And perhaps it was my musical non-stylings that caused the Grape & Wine Festival to send an evil migraine to my sober brain and make me turn into a pumpkin by midnight.

That's what ya get for being good.

So next year? This means war.

Love 'n beer,



Gary said...

That'll teach you to behave Kris. Hahaha. It happens to the best of us. I couldn't drink much either, I also had to stay sober and got a mean sore throat out of it which was at it's worst yesterday and this morning.

It was so not cool, how am I to yell at the TV, and howbadly my Bills are doing when I have no voice!

Before you laugh at my liking of the bills to all you readers out there think about this: You are likely a leafs fan. At least my team can only upset me 16 times in a season, which I will take over 82 in a heartbeat!


Anonymous said...

Will you teach me how to ballroom dance I am going to have some big election partys to go to this year and I do not want to get caught without the skill

Anonymous said...

and I have none...skills that is

Kris said...

Gary - Nu-uh... you will not start any sport debates on here. I won't allow it. Besides... I don't think I get too many sporty folk on here anyway.

Anon - Nope. Don't actually know how to.

Anonymous said... one does...but you look to me like you have had dance training and are good at it.

AaRAWRon said...

Dear Grape and Wine Festival,

Your parade sucks the ass of an ass.


Kris said...

You didn't like it? I wasn't there. Haven't seen the parade since I was little.

AaRAWRon said...

I didn't go. I watched it on Cable 10. I haven't been since '08. They transfered a lot of their funding to stuff they deem more important and classy. They kinda hate the parade aspect - and the grape aspect. I wrote a couple angry, snotty blogs about it a while ago...


And here...

Gary said...

Yeah I seen a small part of the parade. What I did see really did suck a whole lot of ass!

On a side note LOL Myspace haha.

PS. I actually wasn't trying to start any type of sports debate. In fact just stating it how it is to prevent one. My bad for that. After reading it again I see how it could have gone that way.

Kris said...

Hey now, don't mock the ol' MySpace. Look at the date.

And no, I know you weren't looking to start one. I was kidding. Ish.

AaRAWRon said...

Yes, Gare, don't mock.

Anonymous said...

You never know when a hat could have magical powers. Which is why borrowing someone's hat is always worth a try. Same goes for pants.

Kris said...

Thank god. I steal a lot of pants.

Mike D. said...

The hat suits you. Looks like fun.

Anonymous said...

Got a job offer to work in design today at G.M.

And go Jets... and Michigan and Notra Dame (my cousin is the new head coach).

Kris said...

Thanks Mike. It was fun til the headache hit.

Masuka said...

It's Notre Dame ass hat.

If your cousin is Brian Kelly, My Great Grandfather was Abe Lincoln.

Masuka said...

PS Kris.. I enjoy your friend for Masuka-like reasons

Kris said...

Yes, Masuka... I know you do. Go kiss your wife.

ghost said...

when in rome...

Anonymous said...

what is it going to take here--I cannot spell I am a hack pen--the pope knows my work the president knows my work--god knows my work--and soon Kris will be a imigrant--sorry folks you can come and visit or not.

Anonymous said...

what is it going to take here--I cannot spell I am a hack pen--the pope knows my work the president knows my work--god knows my work--and soon Kris will be a imigrant--sorry folks you can come and visit or not.

Anonymous said...

Kris, your last name is going to be spelled Kelly--I think you will see it has a nice "ring" to it when combined with your first name.

Kris said...

ghost - when in Rome, we shall do what the Romans do. Wear hats and breakdance.

Anonymous said...

U.S. auto Companies send employees to southern Italy

It was not that long ago people thought the world was flat

now we know that L.A. C.A. in the USA is where you go to break-dance and again US auto companys send their people to L.A. and they do not expect them to breakdance but hey why not

Anonymous said...

I do have many hats though sheep skin, baseball, south american, wool, fleece, winter summer fall and spring for when it snows and rains or the sun is in your eyes or trys to cook your brain camo for fishing and others for Canvassing

Anonymous said...

we could live in Windsor and I could drive accross a big new bridge I can have built but only If I need it for my own personal use not just the needs of others as is the case now

dual citizenship is always possible

Kris said...

You're freaking me out, and freaking out my readers and friends. If you want me to track your IP and make a report, I will. I'd rather not have to.

If you're someone I know and this is a dumbass joke, it isn't funny because I'm getting a lot of concerned emails about you.

Stop commenting, please.

Masuka said...

YA! What she said! ass hat.

Anonymous said...

Ask yourself Kris how is it that this is getting so much draw--the answer is: it has power--its a show--it is making things happen--your friends just want what is best for you they do not want you to be alone so they call and write to remind you that they are watching--what is wrong with that? You buddy who writes ass-hat to the point of having no power cannot wait for the next reply.

You say you are a writer and I think you are, but you do not understand why--well no one else does, but they cannot wait to find out--right--they are nervious or not they care or they do not but I say they care and are nervious and as a result this has draw and it has power--If and only if used to a meaningful and honest end. Tell your followers that you are going to just let this play out--and watch the number of hits on your sight go up--you should be happy to hear from people you know.

weird as it may seem--you will never know another pen quite like mine.

On one hand Its just words on a page--so why is it so powerful--answer: it comes from a place most people do not see in themselves ,but yet they follow because they are being carryed along.

The only person who you want to be worried is the person who you threatend--I am not worried because I need not worry--so there is one of the answers I belive you are looking for.

It was not that long ago that I was told that a middle eastern group was sending people to the US to dispatch homeless people in Michigan five months later authoritys put the cuffs on a man from the middle east that had stabbed 18 people killing many of them for no reason at all--the media did not report what I had heard and when I told authorities they did not care--now that is what I see as scary. The real news gets burried more times then not--this is what is so great about blogs in the right hands the news gets out and has a impact.

You know you have nothing to worry about.

As far as tracking what I do--this is being done already just because of who my friends are i.e. those in power.

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