Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Cuz On The Surface The City Lights Shine. They're Calling At Me, Come & Find Your Kind

So, I see that you're hiring. That's a good thing, because I applied.

Resumes are fine 'n dandy, but they don't tell you much about a person. I can write you cover letters all day, but don't you want more than just words on a page? You would probably like to know if I'd be a good fit. Well, let's find out...

Employment makes me smile.
Hi. I'm Kristen. Most people call me Kris. I'd even be ok with you calling me "Employee #234", or "hey you!". Just don't ever call me "Krissy". The results aren't pretty.

I'm a writer; you can learn all about that on my other website. I'm certain I've mentioned it once or twice.

But aside from that, why should you  hire me?

Other than my extensive knowledge of useless facts and ability to change any song lyric into a biography of your life including rhyming words? I'm a hard worker. I enjoy tackling new tasks, and going above and beyond to get them done correctly. I love immersing myself in projects. I make friends easily, and tend to get along with all co-workers - even that guy. You know that guy. No one else will go near him, but I'll take him out for coffee. He thinks I'm funny.

I'm very organized. It's kind of sad how much I like files and folders and everything put in its place, but hey - it helps! Spreadsheets are my secret boyfriend.

As a writer and editor, my attention to detail gets a daily workout. My friends would tell you how annoying I can be when I reflexively correct their spelling and grammar. Luckily they still like me (does that mean I can add 'likeable' to this list? Done.).

Yep. Embarrassed
As you can tell by this post, I'm ok with embarrassing myself publicly when it's needed. If that tells you how much I'd like to work for you, then it's worth it. But if you need more than my personal thoughts on why you should hire me, maybe my wonderful, intelligent, extremely good-looking and not-at-all bribed readers may have some comments that will convince you. (*Ahem* Right guys?)

If they don't... what about my cute little dog?


She's a big fan. And not just because I give her treats.

Maybe you'll be one, too. Operators are standing by.



34 comments:

Adam Smachylo said...

As a former co-worker and fellow Creative Director, I had the pleasure of working with Krissy in Toronto with the Evanov Radio Group.

Krissy brings a dedicated yet relaxed presence to any workplace. Her low-maintenance style is a tremendous weight off the shoulders of her superiors. Her personality is irreplaceable and her sense of humour and friendly, laid-back approach help ease the stress of co-workers on a daily basis.

Having Krissy is like having an extra 'you', if that makes sense. Causing me to rethink the old addage: "If you want something done right, do it yourself. Or hire Krissy Goetz."

She's also freakishly gorgeous. Yes, I realize I've just over-stepped my professional boundaries - but whatevs. I don't work with her anymore.

Go Krissy Go.

Kris said...

Thanks Adam. You're awesome. And because you said such nice things, I won't even drive out to Kelowna and hit you for calling me Krissy. One pass is all ya get, my friend! ;)

Coop said...

I told my prospective employer that I won a struggling battle with cancer, which was a little bit of an embellishment as it was more like an extended vacation with cancer. Nevertheless, I got my pity hire.

My suggestion to you is to stick your breasts in the microwave. Once you get cancer and then subsequently beat it, nobody will even consider not hiring you.

Kris said...

I've heard a lot of job advice, but THAT is a first! But ye olde boobs won't fit in there right now, I'm making a boatload of popcorn... mmmm. Popcorn.

RealSuperKeith said...

To Whom it May Concern,

I haven't known Kristine for very long and have never worked with her but I've seen her online work and honestly it really impresses me. On a personality level - in the time that I've known Kristal, she has proven to be friendly (and heck I'm not even 'that' guy), respectful of others' opinions, and kind to animals. I would give her an 'A+' for being a generally all 'round good person. On that basis I'm sure all of which Adam described in the first post applies as well.

I'm a major league vet, been around many people and I've seen it all - whether it be a high fastball tickling the corner of the plate or a choppy throw in the dirt to first (ok I'm not really a vet but I'm definitely major and I belong to some kind of league). The point is - the fact that I've gone out of my way to vouch for her should speak volumes about the good vibes I get about Cris and quite frankly I think she's the real deal. WYSIWYGoetz.

Without a doubt I would say Kristen is your girl...um...lady...alright the person you most definitely want to hire for the job. Not doing so would be detrimental to your company's success. Take it from me - someone real and someone super.

Masuka said...

As being a former co-worker of the one known as Kris to the ten, I can vouch for her awesomeness. I'm the dude no one else liked and she took me out for coffee.

But she also came in to our fabulous world of radio knowing very little of it and managed to fit right in like she had been doing it for years.

I'm waiting for the day I can work with her again....

Kris said...

Keith Hernandez - You are definitely real AND super. And I Googled "WYSIWYG", and henceforth I shall be known as "What You See Is What you Goetz".

Masuka - You're the best. I'd love to work with you again; I'll buy you coffee.

Keir said...

Just so you know, it is perfectly possible to punch the clock without quitting pretentious things.

That is all...

ghetto.punk.chic said...

One might say that I am a little biased since the chick in question is my BFC4E (best friend cousin forever), but to those people I say "Mind yo'business".

I feel that after knowing Kristen for her entire life (and for a breif period in the uterus....ew. That didn't sound AT ALL the way I meant it)I am pretty much an expert in all things K-Goetz. With that being said, I will support everything that has been said thus far in testament to her character.

It's true that she's very clever & creative. It's true that she's hilarious and quick-witted. It's true that unlikeable people flock to her...and she's still nice to them. It's true that she's gorgeous (even though she needs some convincing at times). And more than anything else, it's true that she would be amazing for this job.

Look at how she's promoted herself & her work...I have people I don't even know recognizing me from her blog in other cities.

I have had the chance to work with her in promotions a few times, and she is a natural. People are automatically attracted by her, feel at ease with her, and connect with her.

She wants this really badly, and dammit, she deserves it. So give her a chance. You won't regret it.

Kris said...

Keir - well done! and oddly appropriate, eh?

Leah - I wish I had money to pay you for that comment. Do you accept hugs? I'll give you hugs. Maybe beer. Beer hugs. Cuz I like you.

Mike D. said...

The best girl ever, that's Kris. I wish I owned a company that could use her kick-ass writing skills and awesome attitude, because I'd snatch her up before anyone else had a chance to.

I have never met a girl like Kristen and that is the real truth. No matter where she ends up, she will be amazing.

Krista said...

More resumes need to be like this! More jobs need to hire people this way. Jobs that matter, that is.

Kris said...

Mike - Those are the nicest words you've ever typed in your life. Gimme your mom's email address, I wanna tell her! ;)

Krista - That'd be nice, eh? :)

Gage said...

I'm kind of in love with your dog.

Kris said...

Me too. :)

She's the best.

Friend said...

From what I know, you have represented yourself well in this post and all the comments are true. You are a bright and talented young lady. Also, you're one of the funniest people I've met. That should count for something.

Kris said...

Thanks, Friend!

Bill (CEO, FabFind) said...

Ok, fine...you have an interview with FabFind. I officially admire your audacity and willingness to pimp your dog. Please do not put any body parts in the microwave. We like to reserve that treatment for performance reviews.

You can call our office today to schedule an interview. Just ask to speak with me.

Congratulations...you're one step closer to free beer and daily abuse.

Anonymous said...

I was gonna write a comment to continue the Kris love-in, but I guess I don't have to! Nice!

Mike D. said...

Your dog got you an interview. Did she get treats for that?

Kris said...

Yep. But unlucky for her, I hid allergy meds in 'em. Still counts!

BShurette said...

I have no idea about writing. I don't know much about being an amazing blogger either. The one thing I do know is that Kris pulls me back again and again to read her latest posts. For whatever reason, she is just very entertaining. Wherever she writes, I shall be there to get my fix.

Enough said!

Kris said...

Thanks Bri! I'll send you my diary, if you wanna read it.

BShurette said...

Good idea, I'll need a copy.

XOXOXO

Kris said...

Hahaha... pretty sure you've got other things to keep you busy, ya Yankee! :)

Kris said...

p.s. - are you in San Fran still?

BShurette said...

San Diego sista!

BShurette said...

I'm not THAT busy. :)

Alyson said...

I'd hire you.

Lindsey said...

I run an office...I should start doing this for every open position I have. Tell them to send me pictures and a great post like yours. Really, there's only so much you can tell from a resume and frankly it's a crap shoot. Unfortunately for me, I've had interviewees show up dressed in pajamas or hello kitty geer. There was the goth chic...sigh. Like I said...crap shoot.

Kris said...

Alyson - Thanks, girly! :)

Lindey - Oh my. So, between pyjamas, Hello Kitty and goth-wear, who would get the job? ;)

Vincent James said...

I think you should do a resume like this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBADPyaZe_E

just change it a little so it's about you and not barney stinson ha.

Kris said...

Aw, shoulda thought of that!

Larry Scarwin said...

Alyson - Thanks, girly! :) Lindey - Oh my. So, between pyjamas, Hello Kitty and goth-wear, who would get the job? ;)

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