Thursday, October 28, 2010

Girl Of My Dreams, Things Are As Bad As They Seem

Went to the Raptors season opener yesterday against the Knicks, thanks to Steve of Raptorman.ca.

Brought along an old friend who used to grace these blogpages quite often. Back in the day, in the old life. Quite different than the life I have now.


My camera zoom didn't want to co-operate, so I apologize.

They lost. But it was close. Kept us on our feet, screaming at 'em all.

For those of you who know me as a Raptor fan (which probably isn't many of you), you know Jose Calderon is my favourite. I defend the crap outta him.

He disappointed me last night, and I hate to admit it.


Win or lose, it's still fun to watch. 


As for everything else?

It's strange.

The low days have hit again, and it seems to be because new situations unnerve me. Things are not at all as I thought they'd be when I came back to Toronto - I surely over-fantasized about my new happy life.

That, plus other things I don't have the energy to get into, have left me feeling unlike myself. Bad timing for the ol' depression to be my bedmate.

It's bad. And my positive self-given pep talks don't seem to working.

It has to get better though. I'm willing it.

Run 'n tell that.


21 comments:

TravellingGoalie said...

cheer up Halloween is this weekend ;)

Doc said...

Here's a joke that might make you smile.

Why do midgets giggle when they run?






Because the grass is tickling their nuts. ;)

Take care Kris.

phx said...

That is an AWESOME joke! :D Gave me a much needed giggle anyway. :)

I was a fan of the Raptors back in the Stoudamire days. What's that, 15 years ago? Yeesh.

Kris said...

Adrian - Very true! I'm just not all that excited about it this year.

Doc - Thanks for the joke, you managed to find one I've never heard before ;)

phx - Yeah, it's gone downhill from there. Sad. I'm still a fan, though.

Anonymous said...

Canadian soldiers in Afghanistan march 10km every day with 60lb. field packs in 35C weather, under fire and duress from IED paranoia. It must be sooo hard living in Canada with food in your belly and shelter above your head, typing self indulgent whims into your computer blog. Waaaaah, forgive me if I'm not crying for you. Man the fuck up and soldier on.

Personal responsibility for one's destiny and choices and feelings. Or puss out and blame it on depression, ADHD and restless leg syndrome. When did weakness find a disguise in disease. Fuck this world is getting lame.

Kris said...

Christ, Anon. It's a blog. A personal blog. Calm down and don't get so goddamn worked up. I've said it before, let me say it again - anyone who has an issue with anything I write on here doesn't need to read it. No one forced you. Why bother reading and commenting on a medium that you're obviously so against?

And for fuck's sakes, I didn't compare myself with soldiers or the homeless. As far as depression goes, go ahead and tell me it doesn't affect shit. That means you don't know it. Congrats, friend. We're all proud of you.

Weakness didn't find a disguise in disease, it can be found in anonymous blog comments. Thanks for reading my self-indulgent whims, I assume we'll see you again real soon.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. Whether I'm named anonymous or George, this is the internet, so all is anonymous. You lose that one. I find self pity loathsome, sue me. I will make one final point. There are those in life that write their own stories and those that narrate what is happening to them. Be the former. Depressed? Go for a jog. Read a great book. Do Yoga. Catch up on cosmology. You have no excuses to be depressed given what I've read. Truthfully, I believe you enjoy your depression and are more scared of engaging the world for fear of failure. If you don't risk living, you are among the walking dead. There are many of us, I used to be one. The purgatory of the living. If you suffered from serious trauma, physical, sexual or mental as a child, I rescind all I have said.

This is your blog, you have a right to say any and everything, I repect that. I'd rename it, psychic vampire blog. Or maybe the asexual tease blog. I read deep and I am blunt, that is me. Take some leave some, its all truth.

Keep Going said...

In the words of Leonard Cohen, "No one has the right to judge the way another human being suffers. No one". If you actually READ said blog, you'd understand what this girl is sharing is far more than just your ordinary blather.

Let KG stand for KEEP GOING. You can't surround yourself with your past, but you can't get rid of it either. You'll strike a balance, you will meet new people, but don't forget to put yourself out there. You've spent enough time in suburban isolation, you're adjusting. Give yourself time. Just KG, Ms. KG. get it? Do you have a photography friend? You should do a photo shoot just for you, to remember this time in your life. Sounds weird, but I bet you wouldn't regret it. Be real. Be you. MEET NEW PEOPLE; specifically friends. broaden your circles. if there are people in those circles you don't respect or like, smile, waive, be polite and distance from those who make you feel bad but do not sulk or carry grudges.

And to the fucktard above. Go fart into a shoe box or something. No one wants to read your self-absorbed, egomaniac, over indulged textual diarrhea. Fuck off.

RealSuperKeith said...

Kris - don't know what I can add beyond what Keep Going already wrote but I will reiterate that you are among friends who wanna see you succeed and happy to lend an ear (or a beer) when you hit those inevitable bumps along the road. Hope you're feeling better today - c'est Friday after all!

To the Anon - you read all that in a book or newapaper somewhere? Must have 'cause there doesn't seem to be a shred of originality in your blathering 'script'. T
Go away. And BTW if you're 'oh-so-brave' as the soldiers you reference why post as an anon. If you were in my platoon I'd have you digging foxholes and emptying latrine barrels until the shit stacked as high as your judgemental bullshit - and the sky's the limit on that one. Take it elsewhere creep.

Masuka said...

Anon: If you hate self pity, I hate assholes that hide behind their keyboards and call out someone else on their personal blog. No one asked or appreciates or agrees with your comment so fuck off.

TC said...

Bah, everyone is a freaking critic out here, just one of the multitude of things that makes me hate the internet/social media etc. etc.

Anyway, I really just came to say you know what? I've never even seen a live basketball game. Is that weird?

Anonymous said...

Wow, so many half men wanting to get in Kris' pants, acting as her personal defenders with their fingers crossed on becoming her hubby...

As for posting anonymous, you are all anonymous idiots. Except, Kris, who has photos and a real name. If I write George in Toronto, its still anonymous you half wit. You can write any name you please and there is no proof that you are who you say you are. I figured you'd get that after 20 years of mainstream internet. Well I fought to protect your rights and you have the right to be retarded. I just didn't expect you all to excercise that right so often.

Keith, you are not in a platoon. Go watch Saving Private Ryan and Apocolypse Now again, so you can write some more half baked, fully lifted, military terms in your next post.

As for my psycho eval. Its not lifted from a textbook or Psychology Today, its basic ABC pychology that anyone over 16 years old should firmly grasp by now. Sorry to disappoint you, and happy 15th.

Kris said...

Anon - I don't even care to say much, cuz there isn't a point. You can have your opinion - it doesn't matter to me. You tell me to go out and life my life? I AM. You're, my friend, are the one trolling the blog of a girl that you don't like, and only come here to throw insults. I hope it makes you feel happy. And you know what? You're right about one thing - you DON'T know anything of my life or anything that has happened in it, other than one you've read in one post. So, with that said, your comments are uneducated and un-needed. But please - continue. It doesn't bother me so much, you are someone anonymous who doesn't affect my real life in the slightest.

Keep Going - I'm doing exactly that. Getting rid of those who hold back my happiness and hopefully finding new people who are positive forces. And keeping the great ones I already had. I'm going. I promise!

Keith - Awesome as per usual. Hope to see ya tomorrow!

Masuka - Anon fails to realize that when people use their names, it lets me know who they are. Like the majority of people who have already commented on here that I actually know. Since anon believes he knows so much about me, he surely must know me in real life, right?

TC - Not weird at all. I hadn't been to one until 2008. Do you like basketball?

Kris said...

Let's pretend I left no spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm tired and my laptop should probably not be sitting at this angle. Meh. Screw it.

Shevy said...

Hey Loverly!

First of all, I cannot wait to see you in just over a week!!! Yay T.O!!!

Second, having family that has just returned from Afghanistan, as you do, and having access to said person's thoughts and feelings... I think he'd walk all those clicks over and over and over again if it meant that he didn't have to lose a friend due to some anonymous ass hiding IEDs everywhere.

And for the record, it’s way hotter than 35 degrees there, and their packs are closer to 80lbs… but hey, you know what you’re talking about, right Anon?

And also… said family member supports people getting their life out there and reaching out to people for support… however they do it.

Most people recognize and support someone who is brave enough to step up and say “Hey, I need your help.” Only cowards hide behind their words and judge others. Hey what do I know? Maybe you now can claim to be one of the living because you hide behind your screen and insult those whom you do not understand.

And if you understood anything, you’d realize that depression cannot be solved by simply going for a jog, yet it persists in spite of your best efforts.

Oh the insane people who love to hate.

I’m excited to hear about your new adventures Kris!
Your new happy life is there waiting for you… Once the dust settles, you’ll see.
Happy Halloween Cuz! See you in a few! xo

Anonymous said...

No, our packs were 40lbs. I was in PPLI recce and we go light. Mostly building outposts and such, then running back to FOBs and ditching said outposts. Ya, our commanders are idiots and so are our policymakers.

What is a troll? Some of you called me that, I assume its not the fella that lives under a bridge since u all gravitated towards it.

I come off as an asshole, granted, but my intent was to light a fire under Kris' arse and make her problems seem small compared to the world's. Its worked for me at least, when I am down. I apologize for being a jerk and wish you all well.

Jonathan said...

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are witren, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Kris said...

Shev - GREAT comment. You are the best, thank you.

Can't wait to see ya, although I'm not even sure which city I'll be seeing you in... somehow, some way we will! xoxo

Mike D. said...

Who was this anonymous person. Kris, don't let anything negative get to you. You are amazing and will come out on top no matter what, and one day all the sadness and confusion will have been worth it.

Kris said...

Geez, thanks D. Look at you, gettin' all deep! ;)

Mike D. said...

It happens sometimes I guess.

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