Friday, October 22, 2010

You Are Not To Blame For Bittersweet Distractor, Dare Not Speak Its Name

I've been waking up at 4am every night for the past week.

I sleep better than usual for a few hours, then suddenly wake up. At this point, without fail, strange memories start up, fast and furious, and negative thoughts run wild. This, coupled with the usual anxiety attacks, leads to a nasty night. I'm not a fan. It's stressing me out more than it should.

Things are happening and things are changing, and I think they're the cause. At 4am, it all seems like a really bad idea and it forces me to recall bad memories and stress about what may lie ahead. These things make me want to scream "I give up, I take it all back!" and go hide somewhere safe. Become complacent.

But at 4pm, those same things seem exciting; falling into place and pushing the bad memories away.

It's amazing how day and night can be so different.


This chick here is going on a little unknown journey. Good or bad, I can't say yet. I don't know what to expect, because things often take a different route than I assume they will.

But I hope you'll come along for the bumpy ride.

Bye bye past mistakes. I'm ready for the new ones.



18 comments:

screetus said...

Exciting!
I can't wait to hear all about your next adventure.

Masuka said...

Yes!! Exciting! Good luck!

Kris said...

Thanks! Aaand I'll probably see both of you soon ;)

Anonymous said...

Ummmmm.

RealSuperKeith said...

Gonna try and keep this relatively quick b/c my online-addiction 'sponsor' may be watching ;)

http://snipurl.com/1bt4k1

One of my all-time faves. Ignoring the subtle undertones in some of the lyrics it's clear that good times happen, bad times happen, shit happens - don't let 'em get you down. Learn, move on, get stronger...

Stay the course. Lache-pas. You know you've got the brains, you know you've got the will and the confidence (ok big deal, so you've only got average looks but don't let that stop you ;) PUNCH DEFLECTION!)

good luck to ya and drop a line to a real super dude when you're in the city, k?

Get the Led out.

Kris said...

Anon - Um?

Keith - Excellent pick, you superathlete! And thanks for the words of awesomeness... we will definitely have to grab a beer or 5. Now... as a famous baseball player, how do you feel about Kenny Powers? Let's discuss.

RealSuperKeith said...

Haven't seen the show (don't subscribe to HBO) but I've heard good things about it. Gots to get me copies of the DVDs and watch a few epi's...

Now, the guy whom Kenny's 'allegedly' based on - John Rocker - IMO a lousy has-been and never was - hated him for the remarks he made about NYC and NY Mets fans.

and you?

Kris said...

Great show. I download it cuz I'm a pirate. Arrrrrrr!

RealSuperKeith said...

You know I wanted to be a Pirate once - just couldn't get past the fugly hats and uniforms

http://snipurl.com/1bwnx2

Abigail said...

yay! good luck!

Kris said...

Keith - Ha!

Abigail - Thanks!! :)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Good luck with the new brand of mistakes!

PatZ said...

if you start waking up one minute earlier every night, you need to read Insomnia and find out how they fixed that before they became zombies or something.

though, on that line of thought, if you were zombie, technically you wouldn't be at fault for any mistakes since you're a zombie. right?

Kris said...

Dr. Kennnneth - Thanks! Mybe I'll blog about some of 'em.

Pat - Your crazy logic will yet again save me. I'm making you my agent - nay! Life coach.

Anonymous said...

The ummmm was for the picture. It's pretty insane.

But the other stuff's good too if it means things are happening for you. Is that what it means?

Kris said...

It might. Might not.

ghost said...

i'm with you, kris. for what it's worth.

Kris said...

It's worth a lot. :)

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