Wednesday, October 6, 2010

You Make Me Perfect. Help Me Be Somebody Else.

I always used to keep my eyes open while kissing.

Didn't exactly realize I was doing it, though I was fairly aware of what I was seeing. I think I enjoyed watching someone else closing their eyes; being as completely in the moment as I surely was.



No one had ever complained, save for one ex who thought I was looking at other men while kissing him.

And no. I was not. My eyes, while open, have never been the wandering type. In any way.

Then I dated a man who said he kept his eyes open, too.

My eyes must be shy, because they started closing after that. He called me out, said I lied about being an open-eye-kisser.

Not true.

I just wasn't ready for the contact it brought. Looking eye-to-eye with someone during something as crazy intimate as a simple kiss can be... Well, it was new to me.

Eventually I liked it. For years my eyes had a mind of their own, opening and closing depending on where the feeling took them, and his did the same.

And now?

I don't know what I do. I haven't paid attention in a very long time; haven't even thought about it.

You'll have to kiss me and see.

But what about you?

Do you kiss with your eyes open? Look at the person you're kissing, to see them in a vulnerable moment?

Or do you close them, savouring the kiss?

Enlighten me, since I seem to be remembering nicer, sweeter things than usual.


Fanciful girl I am, at times.


39 comments:

Pure Elle said...

Did that gentleman Purell his hands?

Kris said...

Jonathan, in the pic?

Hmm... prolly not. He's a dirty boy.

Jimmy said...

I can't remember last time I kissed a girl was June 20th 2009. And she was amazing.

A little Fleetwood Mac styled drama between her and moi.

But an amazing lady and follows me on twitter, we don't talk though. I think she only talks to me when she is fighting with her boyfriend.

- Jimmy

RealSuperKeith said...

As I stand at the resto waiting to be seated and my mobile device battery runs low I think to myself this is a dangerous subject to be publicly commenting on, but u know what I say? what the hell you only live once and ya gotta be quick :)

First off: ur such a tease (I keed, I keed or do I?) ;)

#1) Anyhow, eyes OPEN at first as I approach her lips, gently holding the sides of her face. Softly kiss her twice, pull away, slight resistance, lips brush.. Slowly caress her cheek with the back of my hand. Brush a lock of her hair away from HER eyes, towards the side. Scan her features, our eyes meet, our gazes lock. With one hand on her waist and the other's open fingertips lightly touching the side of her face/head I tilt my head, pulse racing, slowly CLOSE my eyes (not noticing her hair fall forward) and bingo....

#2) OMG... sorry got carried away there...

Wanna know what SHE's doing? I'll save it for another blog entry...
...now excuse me while I dive into a barrel of cold water...people look away.

- oh and the time stamp on your blog entry? exquisite...

Kris said...

Jimmy - Well, if she only talks to you when she's fighting with her boyfriend, then she can't be that great. You'll find a better one! She might open her eyes when she kisses...

SuperKeith - Ha! didn't notice that! And I'm no tease, there are single guys who read my blog... But no, I'm not that desperate.

If I wanna know what the lady in your description is doing, all I have to do is ask your hot wife! :)

RealSuperKeith said...

totally kidding about the tease part, seriously (I felt your punch on that one! :)

and yeah my wife is hot and we love each other dearly (hence the slightly over-the-top description). I sincerely hope you can find someone with whom you can experience the same. Single guys reading this blog take heed of our lady blogger. Assholes need not apply.

Now where's my table again...

screetus said...

What if you keep one eye open? Best of both worlds kind of thing...

Kris said...

SuperduperKeith - No punch! I knew you were kiddn'. And thank you... I hope I do too! (And although asshole need not apply, they still will. Ha!)

screetus - Funny, I just said that on the ol' Facebook!

Captain Planet said...

I don't understand what you mean by that you are remember sweeter things? Confused.

Two thoughts. 1) An open eye kisser is nervous, insecure and unsure. If she is always kissing like this months into the relationship, I'd have to know she was secure. 2) people have different ideas of what 'stimulates' them (sounds so creep?) some people are visual, some people are audio based, some people are big on different senses... so some people enjoy the visualness of seeing who they are kissing and what's going on. kind of like real live kissing porn. (more creepy)

Kris said...

What do you mean, you're confused about me remembering sweeter things? What's to be confused about???

And I have to disagree with you. I'm not an insecure or unsure kisser, especially considering I kept my eyes open while kissing guys I had dated for years and was very comfortable with. Nuthin' to be insecure about there - I've never had any complaints ;)

I also don't think it's "kissing porn", and I don't know if you're calling me creepy or not... but I'm not. It isn't an effort to watch. They just happen to be open. Like I said, I never realized it for a long time.

Besides, I don't think there's anything wrong with seeing the person that you're obviously attracted enough to make out with. :)

BShurette said...

I am really big on kissing. To me it is by far the most important component of the physical relationship. It kills me to think you used to keep your eyes open while you did. HOW? HOW???

Kris said...

Lotsa people do it. You'd be surprised!

I didn't have my eyes open every damn time, but hey... whatever.

(And I agree with you about the importance of kissing.)

RealSuperKeith said...

8:34pm - last paragraph. Hear, hear!

Captain Planet said...

Not calling you creepy, though the point where someone accused you of checking out other men while kissing them is kind of creepy on the dudes part. i mean really? how insecure can a guy be. that's a major insult to the girl too.

I'm not saying that you are insecure - didn't mean to imply that, but it's something that would cross my mind initially.

I think you can tell a lot by the way someone kisses. whether its one big kiss, or multiple short kisses, or ramming your tongue down someone's throat. i'm sure there's an article on this somewhere in some women's magazine. "What his kiss tells you - is he ready to commit" (women magazine) and "What her kiss tells you - will she sleep with you on the first date" (men magazine)

Kris said...

Hahaha... there definitely are those articles. And they're bullshit. Kissing tells you aaallll about your chemistry with a person. When I find a kisser I like, I tend to keep him for awhile ;)

(And yeah - it weirded me out when he thought I was checking out other guys too. Yikes.)

Jonathan said...

I have yet to kiss a girl, but, I hear that it is AWESOME ....

I did dream of making out with a girl the other night though .... hmmmmmm .... tasty ....

And I see that one of your messages mentioned that the "Jonathan" in the pic is dirty .... well, some of us are pure and innocent.

ken said...

Totally depends on the situation. I have put together a generic, but by no means comprehensive list of scenarios that I hope you will find helpful:

the first and last kiss should always be eyes-closed

kisses on the cheek – open to prevent injury and help stay on target

kisses on the forehead – closed; her hair smells better than it looks up-close

kisses to the earlobe – both parties closed and preferably followed by nibbles and heavy breathing

the 'we have a secret that no one else knows about' kiss – eyes open; smiling makes kissing more difficult, but is well worth it (see also: the 'I know what you're thinking and don't say it' kiss)

'thank God you're all right and I'm going to find whoever did this to you' kiss – eyes open and staring off into the distance, menacingly

the 'I'm acting WAY too enthusiastic to see you so you because I did some bad shit and I might not get another chance to kiss you for a while after I try to explain everything in a way that makes it seem like it's not a big deal, but...' kiss – start close, sense when it's safe, then pop one eye open - eyebrow nigh vertical – and survey the situation

Most others are a judgement call. Kissing is one of the most sincere forms of non-verbal communication that we have, and eyes open / closed is crucial to its inflection. A wide-eyed kiss goodnight can be contemplating and protective while eyes shut can seem like descending into a beautiful dream. In my humble opinion, a well rounded kissing career calls for a healthy mix of both.

I hope that you find at least some of this useful. It was a fair question and deserving of a thoughtful answer. As for me, I'm off to sleep.

Until next time,

XOXO

Kris said...

Jonathan - Yes. "Innocent". That's you for sure....

Wait, I'm confused.

Ken - You're the bee's knees. I think everyone should print off your list and use it as a reference. Otherwise, we'll all be lost and screw the whole thing up.

As a sidenote, I also feel that awesome choreographed handshakes should be executed with open eyes.

Indeed.

Anonymous said...

I think if I kissed you, I would keep my eyes open for the first time. I would probably never be able to stop looking at you even if I tried!

Masuka said...

I used to keep my eyes open but a girl I was seeing called me out on it and it turned from a romantic moment to a "what's wrong?! do i have bad breath? it's me isn't it.. there's something wrong!!"

And after that, my eyes remained closed to avoid drama.

Kris said...

Anon - I'm not unlike a car accident on the highway.

Masuka - I think I know just the guy for that chick! :)

Anonymous said...

Never seen a car accident so hot.

Gary said...

Kissing to me, also the most important thing. You can really tell if someone (or even yourself) is truly into the person based on that.

I am an either or, sometimes the eyes are open, smetimes closed. I love when you are first kissing someone and you happen to have your eyes open taking in how beautiful, and amazing this girl is, she opens her eyes, to see you staring into hers, and the kiss is interupted by a smile on both of you. That there is, the rare times it happens an amazing moment.

Kris said...

Anon - But sometimes they erupt in flames. That's pretty warm.

RealSuperKeith said...

That's the cue -

Warm It Up Kris, cause that's what you were born to do! Warm It Up Kris, we know you're just about to...

that still cracks me up...

Kris said...

I won't rest until strangers on the street yell that out. Although, having friends and acquaintances randomly doing it is pretty awesome, too!

Captain Planet said...

I think we're all wondering what inspired this recent post.

Kris said...

Hmmm...

Captain Planet said...

Well.. whatever it is the inspiration... we're all rooting for your personal life to become fanciful and sweet once again.

Kris said...

It actually just randomly popped into my head, to be honest. I think too much, and it often gets random. But thanks, Cap'n! Me too! :)

Captain Planet said...

Any luck on the job/apartment front yet? We're rooting for that too ya know. A trifecta - amazing bf, job, apartment. hope you get a hat trick by Christmas. We as in, earth, wind, water, fire - that combine to make me. cue my theme song.

Kris said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpXM9bj-WPU

Captain Planet said...

Just remember Kris, the power is yours.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mFWdY6wDMrk

Mike D. said...

I'll have to kiss you to find out. For scientific purposes of course.

Kris said...

Look at you, sacrificing yourself for the good of science!

ghost said...

i can't remember the last time i kissed a woman. but if i remember correctly, i kiss with eyes closed.

my daughter kissed my hand this morning. im not sure but i think her eyes were open.

Kris said...

:)

That is cute. Very cute.

Anonymous said...

I pee with my eyes closed.

Kris said...

I just saw this now and spit out my coffee. Ha!

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