The Ex Doppelganger.
The Ex Doppelganger is a guy we've seen before; he looks like a shorter version of my ex from years ago. It's not just a slight resemblance, it's so dead-on that it quite literally creeped me out.
And so, as we're talking about the uncanny resemblance and trying to avoid his eye, he comes over. Go figure. He starts talking, doing the usual bar night pick-up approach. Eventually I just can't take it - it feels too much like the Twilight Zone. So I tell him.
"I'm sorry, but you look exactly like my ex and it's really creeping me out. You have to stop hitting on me and my friends. This is just too weird."
|Sometimes I think I need to wear a sign.|
Did he listen? Nope. Instead, he used it as an "in", thinking somehow I'd be more attracted to him because he looked like someone I dated in my early 20's. Between talking to me and my friends, he kept popping up to try again. I was annoyed, and he quickly learned how to turn annoyance into anger.
"So maybe I look like your ex, but aren't I much prettier?"
I was dumbfounded. "What? Are you honestly calling yourself pretty?"
"Look at me. I bet I'm much better-looking than that guy, don't you want to give me a chance? Think of how good we'd look together."
So... maybe I kinda lost it at this point. I'd had it. In front of everyone in that part of the bar, I called him out for being an arrogant predator who didn't know when to leave a girl alone. My friends backed me up - we were angry. At this point, he decided to tell us that he had a girlfriend. One who didn't know he was out trying to pick up other women.
I'll spare you the rest of the details, but let's just say that The Ex Doppelganger (TED, for short) became not-so-well-liked by most people in the bar that night. Once his mythical "charms" were rendered useless, he left.
So let my story of creepy TED be a lesson to you all - men with over-inflated egos, an inability to listen when a girl asks them leave her alone, and a girlfriend sitting at home while they're out trying to pick up other ones... they're not so good, Al. And I've met too damn many of 'em.
These dudes ruin things for the good guys (who, I promise, DO exist. Somewhere).
And now you know one of the (many) reasons why your Shambled Rambler is a single chick, and why she doesn't always enjoy it.