Sunday, November 14, 2010

My Envied Lady Holds You Fast In Her Gaze

I've exhausted this subject already, but it seems I need to bring it up once again.

This post is for you.

I'm sure you know who you are.

You may not realize it, but many others know too.
My friends know who you are. Your friends have started noticing the odd "coincidences".

You said you wanted to be like me, but I didn't realize how much you meant it. Holy hell.

You take what you read and you adopt it.
You repeat my words and pretend they're your own.
Take things that I'm known for and pretend you are too.
But when you involve people and things that are close to me, it gets beyond personal and pisses me off.

You are trying too hard to come across as something, no, someone you are not.

But hey, if it's working for you, then go ahead. Keep doing it.

Continue to show up at the places you think I'll be.
Copy my tastes and follow everything I say and do.
Change who you are completely.

But you will never be me - and why would you want to be?
Instead, you're that girl who is too afraid to be herself.

For that, I truly pity you.


On the other hand...

If you're so damn set on being a bastardized and badly-executed version of me, let me assist you in your journey.

I'll gladly send you:

an ex boyfriend from years ago (hope you like booze and babysitting)
an ex best friend from kindergarten (she'll eat your crayons)
a lock of my old blonde hair (how very Single White Female)
my depression & anxiety attacks (enjoy! yay!)
my personal wannabe stalker chick (... scratch that one. oops.)

Wait by your mailbox for all those Kris-related things. And while you're waiting? Do me a small favour.

Grow up and get your head outta your ass.

Thanks. I feel better now.



34 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that someone is bugging you, but it must be a testament to your greatness. :) Epic pic, too.

Kris said...

Bill Murray wouldn't lie.

Masuka said...

Can I have a lock of your blonde hair? Mmm blonde Kristen.

As for your stalker, is she at least hot??

PatZ said...

Bill Murray can't lie because in the words of Woody Harrelson...

"BILL FUCKIN' MURRAY!"

Anonymous said...

You should block this girl from all of your online stuff. Can you do that with websites????

Kris said...

Masuka - Typical comment. Just for that, you don't get any blonde hair! ;)

Pat - That pretty much sums it up, yep!

Anon - I have, where I can. But I'm not overly techy, so I don't know if there are other ways.

Chomps said...

I could be waaaay off here, but aren't you granting her the attention that she's hoping to seek by being more like you when you've devoted at least two entire blog posts to her?

I would agree that it's entirely pathetic of whoever it is, but I get the feeling that negative attention like this would really light a weirdo's fire.

Kris said...

Nope. There's a long story involved that really isn't blogworthy, but because of it I'm fairly certain she doesn't want to be known as a stalker or mimicker. Wouldn't want to be called out.

But with most people like that, you're absolutely right. Especially when they're guys.

Jack said...

Cuz that's what the world needs. Another Krissy Goetz.

From what I understand, imitation is the greatest form of flattery. So I suppose if you really dig, you can find a positive spin on this whole thing. Sorta. Maybe...kinda.

I've never had a stalker/copycat before. You've one-upped me again, Goetz. Congratulations.

But be careful, Krissy. Heaven forbid she's the type that makes lamp shades out of human flesh.

Kris said...

I tried to be just like you, Smack. But I just couldn't hack it.

Mmm... human lamp shades. Would it be like in A Christmas Story? Would she just use my leg, and make a human leg lamp?

I think I'm scared now.

Born with a big mouth! said...

I was hiding behind the bushes the last time i stalked you .... guess you saw. DANG :) I have a guy stalker, which was flattering at first, until he showed up in the rain crying about how he HAD to have me. AND ....he's 19. RESTRAINING ORDER!!! Let me know if I need to make a trip to be your body guard girl !!

Kris said...

You should make a trip here anyway! :)

Yeah, I've had guys do similar things too. No matter what, it's all creepy eh? But look at you, attracting the 19 year olds! Heh.

TC said...

ugh weird. Maybe you should link to her blog (if she has one). Sometimes people need to be embarrassed out of being idiots. Or is that too mean? I don't know, I'm kind of out of my element here...

Harald Benz said...

Hey Special K – Sorry that you have a problem with this. Seriously hope it won't hurt our friendship but to be up front and honest with you, I am not going to say no when this girl now wants to do as well a nude photography session with me.
If she's only half as good looking as you are ... well ... sorry but you can't blame me when I'll accept of course. It's hard enough to find good female nude models but somebody who is as natural in front of a camera as you are ... that doesn't happen often.

Kris said...

Ha! Harald, you friggin' kill me. And hell, she just might.

Are we doing the non-nude photoshoot soon? I took longer getting back to the city than I though I would. :(

Mike D. said...

Give me her address, I'll fix this little problem.

Kris said...

Not necessary, Mikey. Don't worry.

ghost said...

i said i was sorry. :)

Abigail said...

take it as a compliment!
(I know, I know. Easier said than done)

Kris said...

ghost - You did not! Besides, knowing you're camped in my driveway makes me feel safe at night. Sorry if Daisy keeps biting you, but that's part of the job!

Abigail - I usually would, but like I said... some of it became quite personal. When lines are crossed, it's not so flattering. It's a bit insane.

Alyson said...

Eugh, that's beyond creepy! I mean, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery but eventually it just goes too far.

Keep blogging regularly so I know you're okay :S

Kris said...

Heh. I will Alyson, just cuz you said so. ;)

Anonymous said...

Hope she knows it's a lost cause because no copycat could be as sexy, smart and funny as you are girl! xoxo

Harald Benz said...

Ready when you are ready.

Kris said...

Anon - You're in my good books! :)

Harald - I shall be in touch when I know what's happening with my move.

Anonymous said...

Urgh, that's awful. Make sure to block them on facebook, twitter, myspace, anything. If you do that, they won't get any updates on you and hopefully just give up after a while.

Anonymous said...

It's me, isn't it?

Kris said...

Sure.

krista zee said...

wtf? really?

Kris said...

Yep. But hopefully not anymore.

Andrew said...

When can I expect my stuff?

Kris said...

If it's not at your door by Wednesday, I'll come deliver it in person. Hope you're ready!

Andrew said...

Sweet!

Meghanxmla said...

Ready when you are ready.

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