Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Take These Broken Wings And Learn To Fly

I used to believe that when a string of bad things happened, one great thing would pop up soon after.

This usually proved true when I was younger.

After a bad day that involved some very nasty scenarios, I was asked to a movie by a boy I had a crush on.

Years later, I had a horrible and embarrassing situation that left me mortified and upset. That same day, my first boyfriend asked me to be his girlfriend.

When I broke my foot, crashed my car and all my hair fell out, I won the lottery and got my own TV show. (Ok that one is a lie, but you get the point.)

So whenever the really awful things would happen, I'd just tell myself  "Don't worry, girly. This just means that something good will happen soon."

Well, I've stopped believing that.

After the past few years, and then this one which I've dubbed The Year of the Suck, it seems as though things will never balance out again. As Masuka said to me just the other day, "I'm beginning to wonder if you just have really bad luck or what.. cuz you dont seem to ever get a break."

Masuka is wise, as you all know.


I realize that I whine a lot lately (it's my damn blog and I'll bitch if I want to). But honestly, the list of things that have gone wrong is astounding. Obviously, there are things too personal to blog about and even things that I haven't told anyone at all. And as I sit here, after another bad day, and recall all of the negatives of this past year... it makes me wants to crawl in a hole, because I'm wary of what's next.

That being said... if Young Kris was right, and all the bad shit simply means that something kinda good will happen soon and sustain some type of balance - does that mean 2011 will more than make up for the shit-tastic ways of 2010?

If so, my friends who have stuck by me will be in for some awesomeness. And so will I.

If not, this ship will keep sinking. Glug, glug, glug.

So... do you believe in karma? Fate? Balance? Or do you think stuff just happens simply because...well,  it just does?

Enlighten me, monkeys. I'm curious, like George.


30 comments:

Jack said...

Krissy-Kins,

If I may...

You and I have had some rather serious talks in the past year. I think we've both seen each other at some rather horrible points in our lives.

And we both agree that 2010 can die of diarrhea and burn in Hell.

I've always believed that what you put into the Universe, you get back.

Here's a chick that works exceptionally hard to get the things she knows will make her happy. She battles day in and day out not only with the scumbag Ex-look-a-likes that can't fathom rejection, but with her own personal demons.

You try so hard to make all the right moves, to be yourself without exception and you always impress me with every blog post.

So, in my opinion, some greater power owes you. Big time.

Just...don't give up on faith. Whether that's a faith in karma, fate, balance...whatever. Or the belief that for every shit-stained thing that happens - something good will come along and make it worth while. Find some patience, my dear.

I firmly believe that karma owes us a whopping 2011. A 2011 that will blow us and hum 90's cartoon theme songs while we win the lottery.

Don't stop bitching, don't stop digging for what you want and don't stop bein' Krissy Geotz. Cuz the rest of us are jealous.

Oh snap - did I nail that comment or what?

Kris said...

Haha... yes Smack, you definitely nailed that comment. (Except when you spelled my last name wrong, but we'll pretend that was on purpose!)

Here's hopin' 2011 goes out way better than 2010 did. And welcome back... soon.

Keir said...

One day in April 1995 I woke up way too late, and barely made it to school in time for the bus my Spanish class took on a field trip to Tijuana. Hadn't showered, hadn't shaved, hair was all fucked up (yes, had hair back then), and all I had to wear was dirty laundry. No seats on the bus either, except next to this girl I'd never met before. Ended up going to senior prom with her 2 months later. So that was cool...until she dumped me for my brother's best friend a year later. But then he dumped her and joined my band. And we rocked.

The good stuff never shows up in the form you expect, but it shows up.

Jack said...

Fuck. I just flushed any credibility I had down the toilet.

Kris said...

Keir - I dig your story. Thanks. :)

Jack - Not true. You meant to spell it that way, remember??

steff said...

Hey lady!
We've had a shitastic couple years.
The way you look at luck is the diff, make your own luck and things will look better. Enjoy and feel blessed when shit is going good and don't wait for the next bad luck shoe to drop. That works for us, and alcohol.

Kris said...

Yep, that's what I've been trying to do. Even things I feel silly doing, like writing lists of things I'm appreciative of and telling myself things that are so positive they're damn near impossible. Oh, and the alcohol of course. Can't forget that. Hope to see you guys soon, because that's one thing that is sure to cheer me up. xoxo

Shepherd's Ass said...

You know how I feel about it, Goetz. Everything happens because of the decisions we make - good, bad, not so bad, snap, thought out, bacon on the pie of the shepherd. I have very few options because of the crap I didn't do when really I should have. And I'm a doofus for that.

I think you have to realize that almost everything is under your total control. Whether it happens or not - or even how it happens if or when it does.

I don't think it does a body good to think in patterns or about karma or things balancing out. Your subconscious takes it all in and it secretly influences your thoughts.

All of that is why I think you're life's going to turn out just splendidly.

When you punch me, aim for the beard.

Keir said...

I dig your stories too. You're welcome.

Kris said...

I don't disagree with ya, Shepherd Vail.... but not EVERYTHING is in our control. If I'm sitting here in my room and someone breaks in my window and stabs me, is it my fault for stupidly sitting in my bedroom? I hope not. The point is realizing that not everything is in our control. I'm a control freak, so I hate that. Some people call it karma and all that, I just think it's life. And sometimes it sucks so bad you wanna punch it in the beard. But you can't.

And i won't punch YOU in the beard. Your beard holds secrets. It told me so.

Anonymous said...

Well, if we're talking about home invasions and the like, you're right. I meant everything as in...all that...whatever stuff. You do stuff and the stuff you do puts you into whichever position to...whatever. I have had the looooongest day, so that's as coherent as my ass gets.

Also, my beard also holds small shards of bacon, also.

Kris said...

Bacon beard and coherent ass. It all makes sense now, mister.

Anonymous said...

You seem to have had a few tough years from what I know, but the difference with this one is maybe that you don't have someone with you to help get through the bad times. You're just all alone and that makes it worse and harder. Right?

Masuka said...

I'm starting to think maybe karma is banking all the crappy things for you for the rest of your life....'
So when it turns around, it will turn for good! :D

Kris said...

Anon - Eek. Yeah, that doesn't help.

But yes. You're right. Having someone to go through tough times with me WOULD make it easier. But since, as you said I'm "just all alone", it's a bit of a moot point.

Masuka - As I said, you're wise. And hopefully right!

Mike D. said...

I don't know what I believe in, but I do know that strange things happen. And I think that one day it will all make sense to you.

jetsonstamina said...

Here goes...

If you think you've had a bad year, you're right. If you think you've had a great year, you're right. You can't control everything that happens to you but you can control how much authority you give it.

Adults... we're a funny bunch.

We do a pretty fantastic job of arguing in favor of our sorrow.

Kris said...

Mike - People are strange, when you're a stranger...

Jeston - Well, look who's back! I'm not arguing anything. It is what it is, things that happened happened. And no, I can't change ANY of it actually. All I'm asking is what you guys believe in. No arguing.

Vail said...

I wanna argue! Argh! You!

Who wants a go? I'll pummel you!

Kris said...

You want to argue with me?

Okie dokie!

Alyson said...

I've always found that drawn-out shitty times will eventually (emphasis on "eventually") lead to better times.

It's like the longer my dark, shitty periods are, the happier I am when things finally start to work out.

I dunno, I sound like a Hallmark card.

Kris said...

If you were a Hallmark card, I'd buy you.

...in a non-creepy way, of course!

RealSuperKeith said...

I do believe in Karma in that what you put in you should eventually get back. For me it's mainly, 'don't be an asshole', and for the most part people aren't if you're not.

Life, on the other hand, can be. Some things you can't control and my advice is that it's best not to dwell on those things for long - life's too short for that. Talk it out, write it out, yell it out, punch it out, but then move on and don't blame yourself.

Other things you can do something about and you try to use the experience to learn from it, control it from happening again.

From what I've read I would agree w/Masuka in that Karma owes you big.
To use an analogy: in the great ledger that is life, you've built up a huge credit and it's time to start collecting some of that back - time to right the balance sheet (sorry, finance guy talking here :)

Judging from the supportive comments here and from what I already know about you I'd say you're a keeper -> ...2010, 2011 and beyond. You've got a great personality, you're pretty, you're smart, you seem to have a driving passion for what you do professionally and I would bet that you make the people around you better (that's how I've felt whenever we've hung out). And you're sensitive, vulnerable side is endearing. You've got a believer here that things will work out for you and the awesomeness that you've contributed to the karmic well will eventually find it's way back to you, probably sooner than you think.

Anyhow, I didn't mean for this to turn sappy, but so be it. As someone once said, "Kindness in words creates confidence". So there.

Now holler when you're back in the city so that we can continue to be graced by your 'live' awesomness

Kris said...

Wowzers, Mr. Keith Hernandez... for a baseball player, you sure are wise. And nice. I kinda wanna print and frame that comment and read it every morning. (Don't judge me if I do!)

Also, judging from what everyone is saying about balances and ledgers... I think I should hire an accountant.

jetson stamina said...

By "arguing in favor of our sorrow..." I mean to say, we (adults in general) spend a lot of time focusing on what's missing and what's making us unhappy.

So...

Wether you believe in Karma or not, it's all relative to wether you believe you've had a raw deal or not.

Just for shits and giggles, I challenge you to write a post about 2010 being the "Year Of The AwesomeTastic" An non-sarcastic, argument for why you think 2010 kicked some dirty ass.

(Don't know why it's a "dirty" ass... maybe it wipes Back-to- front and doesn't bother being thorough.)

Have I answered your question? Probably not. Does my blackberry allow me to comment while I take a dump in the ladies washroom because they are away on a team building excercise? It does.
Will I fabreze when I'm done? Maybe I will or maybe you could get me those reports on time for once Colleen!

Kris said...

Haha... stop making me laugh.

As for your challenge? Accepted. I'll write that blog post. And it may only end up being one sentence (cuz this year was shit), but it'll still be legen... wait for it... dary.

Ah, who am I kiddin'. It'll suck.

Shevaun said...

i fully believe things balance out... its just a matter of when.

unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, its our decisions in the past that lay out the path of tomorrow... ok, that sounds lame, but you know what i mean?

because I chose to be an ass in university and not study for courses i hated and was ok with average grades, i had to work extra hard to get into grad school... but eventually all the bs and nay-sayers were put to death because I got in and was/am successful.

so since you've worked your ass off, you've gotten a new job, and because you continue to work your ass off, you'll find a place to live.

the grand poo-bah owes you something... and maybe its just waiting until 2011 to give it to you so that you can dismiss 2010 and start 2011 right.

I dunno what any of our future's hold... but i'm damn sure that things will work out.
besides... we were born extra tough, so i know you'll kick ass.

Hugs

Kris said...

Thanks, my lady. I wish finding a place to live was the worst thing I worried about. That'd be an improvement :)

We must've been born extra tough... I was also born fat, does that count for anything???? No? Damn.

ghost said...

i believe in something of the sort. the other day i was waiting for something good to happen, when i realized it snuck up on me. i'm fine. i don't hurt all the time like i used to, and most of what i deal with now are small internal struggles. it snuck right up on me, but i'll take it.

Kris said...

That makes me really happy, ghost. I'm glad. :)

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