The amount of responses and messages I got to that was a bit surprising - it's always good to know that other people get where you're coming from. And hey, the "awesome" came before the "lonely". That counts.
But sometimes, on nights that look somethin' like this:
I get bored.
And so, on an evening of such stir craziness, I required entertainment. So I re-activated an old dating profile that I hadn't touched since early summer.
But once the onslaught of messages began, I remembered why I stopped checking it out in the first place.
I shake my head at some of these pick-up lines. They'll surely lead me to drink.
Here are some examples:
"Do u like getting railed for hours???"
Hell of an intro, dude. Not even a hi, hello, what's your sign? And you should probably have asked if I dig guys who make duck expressions in their mirror pics as though they were 16-year-old girls discovering Facebook. Also - the picture of your ass? Take it down. Seriously.
"Hey sexiest girl on earth ;) ;) ;)"
So... you're a world traveller? Wink, wink, wink....
"Do you date older men? I have a fast, expensive car that you would look stunning in."
I do, yes. And gosh! Sure, I'll take your car. Thanks!
"Lol Why are you single? Are your pictures fake or something? lol are you really a fat girl pretending to be a hot one? lol"
Lol. Yep. Lol, I'm a fat girl. Lol ya got me, I'm a faker! ....lol.
|Chimpin' ain't easy.|
Needless to say, there are some good messages. But this online dating crap still ain't my thing. It's way too much work to wade through it all.
I guess I'll stick to real-life encounters with the opposite sex.
How 1999 of me...