Tuesday, March 29, 2011

See, The Life I've Had Can Make A Good Man Bad


Every time I talk to any of my Toronto friends since I've moved back, they tend to ask similar questions:

Are you glad to be back?
How's the apartment?
Are you happy?

Depending on circumstance, I give canned answers:

Yup!
It's small, but good.
Sometimes, sure.


But if I were to actually sit down with any of them and answer honestly, it'd likely be a bit different.

Truth is, this move back to Toronto has been a year-long impatient wait. In that time, my "new Toronto life" was built up in my ol' brain a bit more than it should've been. Like it was a new start that would magically erase any and all problems I had. Even my counsellor had believed that.


New start, sure. An improvement? Maybe so.

But it was silly of me to think that I was coming back to sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and vats of delicious beer.

When a person leaves, they become a bit of a novelty when they're visiting. But if they're back for good? They're just kinda... there, for the most part.

So, I'm just kinda here. Thankful for the friends who have reached out, or answered me. Disappointed in the ones who don't, after everything. A lot of my old life here was forged by someone else, and it's a wake-up call to feel like I shouldn't belong the way I used to.

Ohhh, the crazy vagueness I provide you lovely vultures with.


But if anyone were to ask me why the hell I'm back here, or what my purpose is?

That answer is simple.

I'm here to make shit happen.

And so, make shit happen I shall.


In other news that is about as non-related as one could possibly get within the same blog post...

Your fave(?) Shambled Rambler named Kris is today's Woman of the Hour over at GayGuide Toronto.

Check it out here. Do it!


20 comments:

Ken H said...

When you left Toronto, were you in jail?

If so, be sure to write your old pals.

Kris said...

Jail?

Nah. I summered in Niagara. All year.

Masuka said...

My iphone takes pretty pictures in the dark!

..and we had fun Saturday. After 4 beer, that 50 tasted alright. I'd drink it again.

screetus said...

Screetus is super happy that you're back!

Also, several of the election candidates have knocked on my door to express that very same sentiment.

Mike D. said...

You could always come back to Niagara! But you've got big things to do in the big city.

Kris said...

Masuka - Yeah, 50 is good. And your pic of Jer in the candelight is lovely.

Screetus -I paid em to do that.

Mike - Yep... things like replying to comments!

1982 Chateau Mouton Rothschild said...

we lead similar lives. Mine is as a fine wine whereas yours is as a fine whine

Handsome Midget said...

Can I be in your next video? I'll bring the pizza, hot sausage included!

Pygmy Bushman said...

me too!!

Kris said...

Oh good. The troll's back.

Dr. Ruthie Westphallic said...

vehry, verhy eenteresteeng. So vhen vas ze last time, you had ze whoopie, hmmm?

Ziggy Froyd said...

It only happens in her mind or with what's stored in the drawer

The Slow Poke said...

Yes that's what I do! HAHAHA!!!

Trrroll Up the Rrrrimmmm said...

three guesses and Go!

Trrroll Up the Rrrrimmmm said...

three guesses and Go!

Vainy Dill Dosian said...

where are those D batteries when you need them?

Reaching Out and Around said...

Some friends have reached out but you always seem unavailable. After a while people stop if it seems like they're beating a dead horse.

Kris said...

Gotta love website analytics.

And passive aggressive comments from someone who won't leave a name.

Anonymous said...

Your commenters are assholes lately. If these are your friends they sure aren't good ones.

Kris said...

If they're assholes, they're not my friends. Usually.

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