Thursday, April 28, 2011

I'm Always Somewhere Else & You're Always There Alone

If you're married and you end up with a reality show, you're gonna get a divorce.


Yep.

Can't mess with facts.

I don't watch a lot of reality TV, unless I have an urge to shut my brain off for thirty minutes or dumbass curiosity gets the best of me (yet again), but this is something I realized years ago.

The 'stars' on reality shows tend to fare well in their lives as a general rule. They get the exposure, become famous for no apparent reason, and suddenly they're a hot topic and every major market wants a piece of 'em.

That is, except for the married ones. They just get divorces. Huzzah!

It seems inevitable; can't avoid it. Every married reality show couple that I can think of (and I'm no expert, so forgive me if I'm unusually incorrect) has broken up after trying to depict a perfect relationship for their far-too-invested viewers.

What's that, you ask? You need examples?

Well, tra la la... I got 'em.

Nick What's-His-Boyband-Face and Jessica Simpson : Divorce
98 Degrees of Separation

   Travis Barker and his blonde-wife-thing : Divorce
She threw a 'divorce party' with his money, and now hosts Bridalplasty. Classy chick.

Hulk Hogan and Mrs. Hulk Hogan : Divorce
It's over, brother. For all times.

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro : Divorce
Never steal your dude's eyeliner, or you're askin' for divorce papers.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline : Divorce
Can I just say that whoever allowed these two to procreate should be shot? Come on now..

 Jon & Kate Something-Or-Other : Divorce
Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorce lawyers. They both creep me out.

So, y'see boys & girls.... it's simple.

If you find someone you love and decide to settle down and marry them, it might be a good idea to not have a film crew living in your bedroom and ruining your lives and coupledom. Crazy, I know. But reality TV facts surely don't lie. And this is why Gene Simmons still has his chick and his TV show.

Facts.

12 comments:

bluesunday said...

You should try out for one of their next videos, Kristen.

somehow, when I watched it, I thought of you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUI4CZZcT7A&

Kris said...

Looks fun! But I dunno how to do any of that stuff, really.

ghost said...

can we still be friends if i admit i hate kiss?

Kris said...

Always!!

Anonymous said...

Crap, you're right.

Kris said...

Usually. ;)

Mike D. said...

I think that's my favourite KISS song. Don't make fun of me.

Kris said...

I posted it on my blog... why would I make fun of you?

Dork. :)

Anonymous said...

ahem.

Kris said...

Turn your head and cough?

krista zee said...

Eve though the "Krista and Corey show" would probably be amazing- I promise not to do it.

Kris said...

Y'know I'd love to see it, but we want you guys to stay together ;)

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