Thursday, April 28, 2011

I'm Always Somewhere Else & You're Always There Alone

If you're married and you end up with a reality show, you're gonna get a divorce.


Can't mess with facts.

I don't watch a lot of reality TV, unless I have an urge to shut my brain off for thirty minutes or dumbass curiosity gets the best of me (yet again), but this is something I realized years ago.

The 'stars' on reality shows tend to fare well in their lives as a general rule. They get the exposure, become famous for no apparent reason, and suddenly they're a hot topic and every major market wants a piece of 'em.

That is, except for the married ones. They just get divorces. Huzzah!

It seems inevitable; can't avoid it. Every married reality show couple that I can think of (and I'm no expert, so forgive me if I'm unusually incorrect) has broken up after trying to depict a perfect relationship for their far-too-invested viewers.

What's that, you ask? You need examples?

Well, tra la la... I got 'em.

Nick What's-His-Boyband-Face and Jessica Simpson : Divorce
98 Degrees of Separation

   Travis Barker and his blonde-wife-thing : Divorce
She threw a 'divorce party' with his money, and now hosts Bridalplasty. Classy chick.

Hulk Hogan and Mrs. Hulk Hogan : Divorce
It's over, brother. For all times.

Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro : Divorce
Never steal your dude's eyeliner, or you're askin' for divorce papers.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline : Divorce
Can I just say that whoever allowed these two to procreate should be shot? Come on now..

 Jon & Kate Something-Or-Other : Divorce
Jon & Kate Plus 8 divorce lawyers. They both creep me out.

So, y'see boys & girls.... it's simple.

If you find someone you love and decide to settle down and marry them, it might be a good idea to not have a film crew living in your bedroom and ruining your lives and coupledom. Crazy, I know. But reality TV facts surely don't lie. And this is why Gene Simmons still has his chick and his TV show.



bluesunday said...

You should try out for one of their next videos, Kristen.

somehow, when I watched it, I thought of you.

Kris said...

Looks fun! But I dunno how to do any of that stuff, really.

ghost said...

can we still be friends if i admit i hate kiss?

Kris said...


Anonymous said...

Crap, you're right.

Kris said...

Usually. ;)

Mike D. said...

I think that's my favourite KISS song. Don't make fun of me.

Kris said...

I posted it on my blog... why would I make fun of you?

Dork. :)

Anonymous said...


Kris said...

Turn your head and cough?

krista zee said...

Eve though the "Krista and Corey show" would probably be amazing- I promise not to do it.

Kris said...

Y'know I'd love to see it, but we want you guys to stay together ;)

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