Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Things That You Say Don't Need To Prove That What I Have Is Much To Lose

Ever since I moved into my new place, Daisy has had these random bursts of crazy where she obsessively sniffs certain areas of my kitchen and tries to squeeze her little body into tight spaces to get at imaginary prey. She is, after all, a hunting dog.

Turns out she's not so nuts, and it's not so imaginary.

If my eyes were not failing me the other night (and they were not), I do indeed have a mouse in my house.

Get outta my apartment, you summabitch.

Oh yes. A mouse. I have named him Justin Bieber, since he makes the bitches go crazy. (I almost named him after one of the Beatles, but thought better of it. That damn rodent hasn't earned it.)

Ah, the joys of living in an older house that, although renovated, has all sorts of fun ways for those suckers to get in. I have no doubt that he was here long before me, and likely resents the four-legged presence I've brought him.

Let's not kid around here - I'm terrified of it. I screamed and punched out a ball of lint yesterday after mistaking it for the Justin Bieber Mouse. I'm on my guard, still sick and not sleeping properly, and I may need someone to come hold my hand at night while protecting me.

Thank god for Daisy.

Hey- Justin Bieber Mouse! You'd better watch yourself...


She's gonna getcha.



16 comments:

Mancrab said...

Go to home depot and buy an electric mouse trap.
They are the best! We had mice in the beginning of
Winter I bout the EMT and voila no more mice.

ScottMescudi said...

That Justin Bieber line was great haha!

Kris said...

Yeah, but I worry about Daisy getting a paw caught in one or something... unless they're different than I think!

Kris said...

Thanks Scott ;)

Anonymous said...

I'll volunteer to come hold your hand all night. :)

Kris said...

I don't think so. You might be the Justin Bieber Mouse.

Alyson said...

I found a dead mouse on my boyfriend's floor when he lived in his old roommate's house. It was dead... but still.

Whatcha gonna do about it?

Kris said...

Daisy'll take care of it! And if not, I guess I'll grab one of those mouse traps my dear Mancrab mentioned above.


Or I can ask the mouse kindly if he'll move out!

ghost said...

why are you afraid? its just mouse. damn rats are effing scary though.

Kris said...

I just find 'em creepy. The thought of a mouse crawling around in my bed while I'm in it is frightening.

Rats? If I had a rat here, I'd move. ASAP.

Mike D. said...

Lucky Daisy has a new playmate.

Kris said...

She already has a purple plush mouse named Just You Shut Your Mouse (a la David Bowie)... she didn't need this one!

Alma said...

I won't tell you about the time I was volunteering for a soup kitchen and decapitated mouse jumped out of the darkness when I was moving a box. Or how a beetle flew at me and tried to poke out my eye. Good times. Good times.

--Alma

Kris said...

Oh hell - you win! Yikes.

ThisIsAndrew said...

"I don't think so. You might be the Justin Bieber Mouse."

bahaha, nice.

Punching out lint, thats a new one.

Kris said...

Lint and I are sometimes enemies.

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