Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Cobra Matte

I've been fairly MIA on the interweb lately. Mostly from constant sickness, and also due to some crazy events over the weekend.

Other than being sick a lot, my weekend consisted of a not-so-fun end to my Friday night (which I'll explain), being locked out of my apartment with my unleashed dog, my sister and her husband (thanks to the bro-in-law for his ninja skills), accidentally painting my entire bathroom with Pepto Bismol (never again will my bathroom suffer the pain of indigestion), etc, etc... luckily ending the weekend with a day on the beach.


But back to my Friday night.

Headed to the Horseshoe with some friends for NXNE. Had fun, even in spite of being groped and then punched by an overly drunk kid who was then kicked out.

Cut to the end of the night, I started walking home. Having a bit of a hissy fit over an argument of some sort with one of my friends, I just kept walking on my own. Lines of communication were somehow crossed, as I thought I had been ditched and didn't realize we were stopping for food. I digress... point is, I walked home by myself because I'm an idiot.

There, I said it.


As I walked, a cabbie stopped a couple of times to see if I wanted a ride. I waved him on both times, telling him that I was fine and wanted to walk.

By the time I hit Queen & Dufferin, I was still arguing with my friend via texts and phone calls and got a bit upset. So, being the idiot that I was that night, I sat and cried for a minute - feeling stupid will do that to a chick at 4am.


And so, as I sat there crying, the same cabbie stopped again. He told me that he wasn't letting me walk anymore, and I obviously wasn't ok. Not really in the mood to argue, I went to open the door to the backseat. But he got out of the car and opened the front passenger door for me. So out of politeness, I sat in the front.

As we drove, my friend called and heard the cabbie say that he was going to take a different route to my house. Realizing that was a bad sign, my friend asked to be put on speakerphone so he could talk to the driver. With some yelling, and some threatening, he made sure the cabbie would take the direct route to my house.


During the ride, as I'm crying, the cabbie kept handing me tissues and saying "you're too beautiful to cry, you're so wonderful, you deserve to be happy", etc, etc...

We finally got to my house and I asked for the debit machine. He said "No charge."

I was confused by this, but figured he was taking pity on a crying girl he found on the side of the road. I was wrong. I thanked him and went to leave, but the doors were locked.

And so he grabbed my head and kissed me. He wiped my cheeks as he did it, and called me "beautiful" again. I moved away, and he groped me and grabbed my head and kissed me again. All the while, I'm trying to unlock the door and get the hell out of there.

Finally, I did. I bolted out of the car and into my house.



When my friend heard about this, he begged me to call the cops. But I didn't know what cab company it was, and I didn't know his name. I was in such a state that I didn't pay attention to those minor details. Now I wish I had.

I realize that, in a way, it's a bad idea to post this. My parents will not be happy; they will worry. But here's why I am - this shit is not cool. I was vulnerable, and this disgusting man took advantage of that. I don't ever want to be put in that situation again, and I don't want to hear about anyone else in it.

Don't make my mistakes.

If you're alone, always sit in the back - forget politeness if the driver opens a door for you. Always pay attention to the name of the driver and the cab company. Always have your phone available, just in case.

And always, always be prepared to kick some ass if anyone ever tries to take advantage of you. I won't make the same mistake any more.

If I ever see that asshole again? Trust that he won't be calling me beautiful much longer.



30 comments:

Masuka said...

Holy shit. You're lucky it was only a kiss he got.... Please don't take risks like that again.

Kris said...

I know. And I never do. You know me, I'm wary to a fault. Always on guard.

Masuka said...

The thing that kills me was 1. I was texting you that night.. and 2. I was down the street walking around with D.. Call me next time!

Kris said...

Nope, you were texting me on Saturday remember?? Not Friday.

Masuka said...

you're right.. but call me anyway :P

Kris said...

Yes, dear.

Aaron said...

What the freaking dealio, Goetz.

Kris said...

I'm gonna take karate lessons, Vail.

ns said...

Oi, this is not something I like to hear happening to people I like! I'm glad you're okay.

My previous offer is still good - remember that if you ever need a free cabbie with no strings attached, I can jump down and chauffeur you in like 15 min, and I often have mad beats. :D

Hope things are alright!

Kris said...

Thanks, Nick. You're always so damn nice!

Alyson said...

Glad to hear you're safe. Pls pls pls be extra-careful.

Kris said...

I promise!

Mike D. said...

Kris... are you okay?

Kris said...

Yep. Completely fine.

ThisIsAndrew said...

Some people in this city are assholes. Glad nothing worse happened!

Uncle Farty Pants said...

She forgot to mention any details of her excelent day in the beach. I know it would have loaded some mirth and such to the front end of a terrible story. So i'll shush...ish..

But at some time, to pay hommage to the hospitality and general "good times" of your hosts on that day of recovery....you should write a little ditty. Nothing EPIC....just a little sumfinsumfin.

Just sayin....

screetus said...

Wow Kris! What a total asshole. Too bad you weren't able to remember details the police would be able to use -- this was definitely criminal behavior. But fortunately you had the presence of mind to get out of there.

Kris said...

Andrew - Merci. Some people ANYWHERE are assholes, I find.

Uncle Pantless - Whilst (yes, whilst) writing this here blog post, I was going to add something not-quite-but-almost epic about those gracious and wonderful hosts, but didn't want to add them to a gross story about a certain cabbie as it may downplay the 'awesome'.

But yes. The sheer attractiveness of said hosts was enough to erase all cabbie memories, if only temporarily. And there was this one pint-sized host who was so charming, I thought about stowing her in my backpack and learnin' her 'bout the West side o' town. I did not, though. This time.

That aside, the beach day was indeed "the shit", as they say... and good times were had by this cab-phobia'd girly. Come westward sometime soon!

screetus - I'm glad I usually use the same cab company every time, because they know me and my info. I'll have to keep using them.

Harald Benz said...

I'm glad nothing more happened. This is bad enough!
Hope you are alright.

Kris said...

I'm just fine, thanks Harald :) I keep meaning to send you that email! Damn.

justinbaisden.com said...

The writing was on the wall when he didn't just take off after the first time. It's unfortunate you didn't get his company or plate. He'd be up on charges right now.

Kris said...

Agreed, I had just figured he was driving up and down Queen looking for anyone to grab a ride. It was a nice night, so most people were walking.

Drew said...

WTF is wrong with some people! I'm so glad to hear you are alright Kris, sorry to hear of your terrible experience, no one should have to endure what you went through. As you said that shit is not cool, and I'm glad you posted this, hopefully it will help someone else.
Be safe and keep Smiling :)

krista zee said...

Budddddy, Don't walk home alone. There is safety in numbers!

I agree it's not your fault though. Cab drivers should be on the watch for us, not taking advantage.

Let's go grab a beer together, troll Queen street and look for the bastard! ;)

Kris said...

Drew - Thanks for the nice words, as always :)

Krista - I do believe we're looong overdue for a beer anyway, right? Let's get him.

krista zee said...

Labbatt 50!

Krista said...

God that is scary. But I'm glad you posted this. People need to know what the hell kind of creeps are out there and that going off alone just isn't okay. And that this kind of crap does happen. I'm glad you're ok!

Shevy said...

Dude!
I'm not sure how the hell I missed this post... SHIT!!!

Girl Safety 101.
Your Keys are your BEST friend!!!
Put them in your fist, with one of the strongest, sharpest (newest) keys sticking out between your fingers... basically you have a fist with a key sticking out of it.

If someone comes at you, punch them somewhere soft... the cheek will do nicely. The fist helps give the key stability, not to mention force.

Shit Kris! Please... no matter how stupid your friends are or how pissed off you get... don't walk home alone. I use to have to follow my old roomie home like 100 meters behind because she would take off and get pissed if I caught up... but I NEVER let her walk alone.

Kris said...

Good tips, Shev. Feisty girl :)

And truthfully, this wouldn't have happened if I HAD continued to walk home alone. So it's really just about being safe no matter what. Good thing I'm suspicious of everyone, always. (aka... psycho)

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