Thursday, July 14, 2011

Just Like The Ocean, Always In Love With The Moon

We've all heard the saying over and over:

"If you love something, let it go."

And apparently, if it's really yours, it will come back to you. Possibly delivered by a magical unicorn who will shriek with glee that this thing you let go of is truly yours. That's real love, y'know.

Well, I've tested this theory out. Extensive and exhaustive research has led to me to call bullshit, for the most part.

Like that time I bought a cheesecake. I paid for it, so it was mine. But I gave it away, knowing that since it was mine (and I truly loved it), it would come back.

It didn't.

And when I was younger, I lent my favourite book to someone. Once again, it was my book... and I loved it... so I lent it out. Surely, it was comin' back right?

Nope. Never got it back.

Whoever has it, I hope it brought paper cuts to your thieving fingers!

Now... I know what you're thinking. The saying isn't so much about inanimate objects as it is about people. Well, then it should be more clear. Instead of "if you love 'something', let it go" it ought to be:
"if you love a living person who has the capacity to love you back, let them go (but don't kill 'em or anything, cuz relationships never last in jail.)".

There. Much better.

But even then, I don't necessarily agree with it.

Cheesy cliches like this one are possibly correct part of the time. Sometimes it actually does work that way - kinda like another one: "you don't know what ya got 'til it's gone". So you freak out & get it back cuz you screwed up. It's allowed. While it's too late for my cheesecake and my book (I'm holding back tears, here), it isn't too late for you.

If you love someone (or something), keep them. Hold them as close as you can and don't let go. Because if you do lose them, for any reason, you may never have them again.

And that, my dear hosers, is why we have leashes.


Anonymous said...

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.”
- Richard Bach quotes (American Writer, author of 'Jonathan Livingston Seagull').

But yea... we get your point.

Kris said...

Yes. I realize it's a quote.

My point is that it's changed and become a cliche and is now taken a bit too seriously.

Chris said...

Just like religion. Religion is now a cliche thanks to the advent of science and logical reasoning. Why we hold onto these bizarre, ancient rituals and writing is beyond me. They may have been good in their time, but now need constant retooling and irrational thinking and connections to make them relevant.

I Love You said...

If you tell them to go away, they'll be hurt. Then if you explain that you never wanted them to go in the first place and you were only testing them, they'll think you are insane ; )

Maybe it should just mean, "if you love someone, set them free to be who they are." That can include being with you : ) And heck, that's tough sometimes: sometimes who they are can press all of your buttons and seem to run over who you are!

But I am in need of food and sleep, so what do I know in this state? : )

alma said...

Totally disagree. For me, the quote boils down to choice and trust. Letting them go means giving up the idea that whatever it is belongs to you and is essential to your life. It's trusting that the thing you're giving up will stay with you in the ways you need. It may not be on your terms, on your timeframe, or how you expect. But you don't require it to be whole.

As for relationships, my rule is: if the person chooses to leave, he probably isn't what I need right now. Holding on to anyone only leads me on a path where I lose me and them.

TC said...

honestly it's the stupidest quote ever. If you love somebody you don't have any desire to run away. Figures a man came up with this one. Bogus.

Kris said...

Chris - Agreed. It's kinda like everything that once made sense has now been screwed up in a bad game of telephone.

Sharon - Love it. "Set them free to be who they are" - perfect. Even without food and sleep, you're right on the money :)

Alma - I actually agree with you - you're just going deeper and taking this quote at a different angle than I was. Definitely different ways that it could be taken; it was meant to be a kinda lighthearted blog post. But on a serious note, and with a different meaning to "letting go", yep. You're right.

TC - I'd rather surround myself with the things and people I love... which is why Daisy ended up being the subject of this one. Let my dog go? Never.

ghost said...

if you love something, set it free. if it comes back it was meant to be. if it doesn't hunt it down and kill it.

Alyson said...

I like ghost's comment.

Kris said...

Ha! I like that one, too. I saw it when I was searching out pics.

Nothing says love like huntin' and killin'!

Anonymous said...

If I had you, I would not ever let you go. So I have to agree that the quote is senseless.

Kris said...


Daisy is unsure 'bout that.

Craig said...

It's a very Good quote.

life is that simple, and those that wish to use only there own personal experience as their guide on this one are being a wee bit closed minded. Shambler here is smarter than you give her credit for I think.

All it means is that you can only control you, so trying to control another person will often end in disaster. You have to control what you can, and hope for the best with the rest. Loved ones on different courses in life often have to be set free. timing and resonance are hard to come by.

Sometimes they come back, sometimes life leads them on another path. It's our true sense of self, and love for ourselves that will always free us from the need to keep them close.

We are free, we control our own path, and were responsible for it only, the joy is understanding that there is a never-ending supply of new experiences on the horizon. Lovers set free are friends, true and cherished. They are bridges and foundations to build upon.

Still it's hard to watch the go. It's terribly hard. You worry for them, their hearts and their happiness..... but alas, you must let go and do your best to be there for the when you can.


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