Thursday, November 3, 2011

Superboy, Take A Little Chance Here

The Duckface.

You know what it is... the weirdly annoying pucker-y face that many people (mostly females) make in their photos. It has spawned a lot of Duckface-hate, and even some websites dedicated to it, like this one.

I try to stay away from the Duckface, myself. Looking back on really old pictures, I see where I've been guilty of it. And well... I feel shame. So much Duckface shame.

But I realized that the Duckface had to come from from somewhere. And so, I give you the Evolution of The Duckface:


It started as a kiss-face. Pucker up, blow a kiss to the camera like the flirty bitch you are.

Perfectly acceptable.


Then it was the "I'm a not-so-serious kinda gal, with my head in the clouds and my butt in some sweatpants that say 'Hottie' on the ass. I like pink a whole lot!" look.

A little less acceptable if you ask me, but to each their own. I try not to judge.


Ah. This pucker has a purpose, and it's to create some cheekbone action. Because that's all anyone is looking at. Your cheekbones. Surely no one is looking at that weird thing your lips are doing.


This one is a mix of Zoolander's 'Blue Steel', Gwen Stefani's 'Just A Girl' and Lisa Rinna's lip injections.

Meant to convey an innocent, yet empty head.


"I am a model. This is my model face. Because I model. With this model face."

It happens.

And after all of those.... you get this:


The Duckface.

Which causes everyone around you do to this:


So, my lovely ladies, how 'bout we start smiling in pictures like normal people and leave the Duckfaces to the professionals?



Quack quack.

24 comments:

Tristan Cuschieri said...

Crunchiest poast ever. Love the demonstrations.

Kris said...

Hahaha... is crunchy a good thing?!

Anonymous said...

Am I not supposed to think all of these pictures are hot? Does that make me evil or stupid or something?

Bill said...

Your last duckface picture and DaisyDuck seemed almost like separated at birth pictures

Kris said...

Anon - Yes! Evil & stupid! Kidding... but hopefully you like Daisy Duck the most.

Bill - Awesome. Who knew I was good at fictional duck impersonations?

ns said...

It's quacktastic!

Kris said...

Haha - that works well as a compliment and an insult. I like it.

Mike D. said...

Funny girl. Great post, Miss G.

K said...

Thanks, Mister D.

PatZ said...

wait til it evolves into Goose Face.

Kale said...

For the record you do have pretty stellar cheekbones.....

Kris said...

Pat - I'm workin' on that one...

Kale - I do? Jebus. Thanks.

screetus said...

This post quacked me up!

Kris said...

Duck duck GOOSE!

Anonymous said...

That's a good looking duck if I've seen one.




And I have.

Kris said...

I see some good-looking ducks over at the duck pond almost every day. Daisy wishes to eat them.

Alyson said...

LOVE this post.

Kris said...

Love YOU. Visit. Now. Beer. Happening. And. Other. One. Word. Sentences.

Danger Owl said...

Owl Face!

Kris said...

Owl death!

Brian The American said...

I like ducks.

Kris said...

You're a Yankee Duck, my dear.

Brian The American said...

You love yank's!

Kris said...

You are the only one. That's it.

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