Sunday, December 4, 2011

We Care A Lot About The Gamblers And The Pushers And The Geeks

 Every time you hang out with people, you should learn new things.


This past Friday night, I definitely did.

Some useless, some hilarious, some... well, some we can't talk about.


I learned the sounds that turtles make during sex. I also learned that my friends are really good at mimicking that sound exactly.

In case you were wondering, there's a big difference between the types of turtles and the sounds they make. It's slightly disturbing. You're welcome.


I also learned that at a bar in my hood, there's a new bartender who will play Faith No More and old Skid Row tunes. He also made mention of the Killer Dwarves, and understood my love for Sebastian Bach.

It's the little things, folks.




I learned that I dress like Christmas and am excited to take pictures beside any type of Christmas lights. I'm like Crazy Dork Santa.

In lieu of presents, I bring you beer and sarcasm.



Awesome bitches can read stuff. Words, sentences, paragraphs. All of it.

I learned that, too.


Wait... nevermind.



I learned that being told to pose like the Statue of Liberty is tough, because what the hell does she do with her other damn hand?

So I'm the Statue of Libation-ty.


The last thing I learned?

I friggin' hate cold weather and may hibernate til May.

Bring Big Macs and whiskey. This'll be a long winter.

17 comments:

Masuka said...

You sure like that new camera on that phone of yours............. Which bar is this? Take me there.

Anonymous said...

Beer and sarcasm? That's exactly what I wanted, how did you know? #DorkSantaRocks

Kris said...

Masuka - Ok, let's go! And yes, I use the camera lots. That's a good thing, isn't it? Shhh.

Anon - Hahaha. I see you when you're sleeping, I know when you're awake... ;)

Mike D. said...

I really like that Statue of Libation pic. It also looks Christmasy.

Kris said...

That's me. Kris-mas.

PatZ said...

I've found that turtle sex sounds a lot like one falling over on its back...

http://youtu.be/lMlwov8R3SI

what? it's educational...

Kris said...

Look at you with the turtle sex video! Nice commentary, Pat. Hahaha...

This was one of the ones, though: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0A77rohcyg&feature=related

Creepy, no?

Anonymous said...

Beer.

Kris said...

That is correct. Beer.

Me. said...

post MOAR!


:)

Kris said...

Haha - "moar" coming today.

Sin Ter Klaus said...

Yawn

Sink Their Claws said...

Bits of coal

Fanta Clause said...

More Vitamin C and D please

Pete the Stylist said...

You're hot but you were hotter when you had more meat on you. Eat Eat!

Shlomo said...

I love the taste of swine

Kris said...

You're a wonky monkey, my friend.

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