Monday, January 23, 2012

I Assassin Down The Avenue



Earlier today, the always-awesome Nick brought up a topic that I've been in many discussions about through the years. Hell, it even came up on here once or twice.

It's the importance of musical tastes in relationships.


Do partners who have similar tastes in music have a better chance of lasting?

And do most of us pick partners with the same tastes - is it a make-or-break issue?


For me personally, yes.

My long-term relationships have all been with guys who liked at least a good portion of the same things I did. One ex appealed to my metal side. Another jokingly(?) nicknamed me "rock pig", but we shared a love of music in general and had a great time at concerts. My eclectic tastes can sometimes make this easier - I'm pretty varied, and if a dude can introduce me to new sounds to love? Perfect.

But if there are no similarities in our tastes.... if he's not someone I can go to live shows with, blast my songs in the apartment for us both to enjoy, or he mocks my choices because he has shitty taste in music (by my own damn standards, of course)... then it will not work.

Trust me. I've tried. (Sorry 'new gangsta rap', dude. You didn't know who Neil Young was. G'bye.)


Am I alone in this way of thinking?

I know many couples who perhaps aren't as music-obsessed, and their tastes are extremely varied from each other. And yet, it works. For them.


What about you, reader-folks?

Can you (and would you) date someone who is your musical polar opposite?

A Monday thought for ya. Discuss.

27 comments:

Bill said...

100% agree. No way in hell I could be with someone with a vastly different taste in music. I wake up to music and fall asleep to music. There is music on at home, in the car and at work. New musical taste is great, but a huge difference won't work. Often music can translate into other areas like fashion etc. For me it just wouldn't work.

Masuka said...

I find it works best if you have someone in the relationship who doesn't care. I control the radio in the car, end of story. Have you ever been in the car with a radio person?? It's infuriating!!! I feel sorry for her.. Oh wait, no I don't, cuz I control the radio. End of story

Kris said...

Ha!

justinbaisden.com said...

I'll listen to anything that sounds good. It's not a deal breaker either way.

Kris said...

You have a higher dateability rating then most people - that's what that means.

Alyson said...

I've dated guys with different taste in music before, and it's not so bad. The only time I draw the line is at death metal.

Kris said...

Aw, we can't date? :(

Nick said...

It wouldn't be a complete deal-breaker, but... it's much better to have music in common, because music is everywhere, even inside us (that sounded lame).

I think it also comes down to how inclusive something is. I have no problem with her not sharing my love of cars. That's something I can enjoy on my own, and hopefully she doesn't need me to watch figure skating on TV with her all the time! ;) But not liking the outdoors or having really atrocious taste in music - stuff to do together/share - would be a problem.


PS. There is good death metal! Not a lot, but it exists!

Kris said...

Nick, you put it much better than I did - that's exactly it.

Anonymous said...

Wait until you have kids and have to listen to and tolerate all the shitty little kid music...that's true love.

Kris said...

Sadly, I'll probably dig it. Or make them listen to mine.

Masuka said...

There will be no shitty kids music in my car. I didn't have it, and I'm much better for it.

Kris said...

I listened to some of it as a kid, but the majority of my favourites were from my parents and my sister. I adopted their tastes.

Peter said...

I'm a big music guy. As the numerous dropbox invites you've received from me prove.

My gf and I have pretty different tastes. But there is some overlap. Plus we're both willing to check out they other's faves. That's the key, I think.

Kris said...

Agreed, I like learning new artists and types of music... and some overlap is good.

Mike D. said...

Who doesn't know who Neil Young is?

Dave said...

With a pretty varied set of musical tastes myself I have never run into this as a problem. I have found common ground with some band or genre.

That being said, There is definitely a limit to the "opposite=ness" of two people if things should work out.

People always cite the phrase "Opposites attract", and that may be entirely true. However, I think that if the rest of that sentence or paragraph of that nameless authors wisdom were revealed (and to my knowledge I haven't heard either way), that he o/she would counsel partners to share more commonalities than opposites if regards to a long-lasting, fruitful relationship, to which I'd agree.

My 2c,

Dave

PatZ said...

As long as they let you push all the buttons on the radio in the car while you're both in it, and only really draws the line at Steel Panther, you're fine.

I will say this though; right now, if you go meet a guy and he says, "Gotye is fucking superb!" just turn around and leave.

Gotye is not fucking superb.

My relationship with my favourite radio station is suffering because of that shit.

Nick said...

(getting a little off topic but...) Gotye ain't bad. Also not the best thing I've ever heard. Really reminds me a bit of Peter Gabriel. Is it The Edge that you're not speaking with right now? ;)

But see! Varied tastes!

Kris said...

I just wanna know how to pronounce it.

Nick said...

I think it's 'got-yay'.

Kris said...

I've got yay, you've got yay, WE'VE ALL GOT YAY! YAAAAY!


...sorry.

Anonymous said...

Cheeky cheeky!

Kris said...

What's cheeky?

Anonymous said...

You in that first photograph looking cheeky.

Kris said...

:)

ghost said...

niether of my exes and i shared musical tastes. if that says anything.

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