Monday, January 30, 2012

Rest In Peace

On Saturday night, my Omi passed away.

I talk a lot about my German traits, but don't often tell of  where they came from. I guess that would partly be from my Omi; my dad's mother. She was a feisty one, and had a certain way of voicing her negative opinions that everyone kinda came to expect. That was just Omi.

But as I sat here at my desk on Sunday morning, crying over the news, the very things that we may not have considered her best traits suddenly became "the things she'll never do again". And I automatically missed them. She won't be telling me that my hair is too dark, too light, too long or too short. She won't critique my boyfriends based solely on their appearance. She won't pick a favourite between me and my sister, only to change her mind the next time we saw her.

These were the things that drove us crazy. And somehow... I miss those things greatly.

In the end, it was hard to see her worsen in that bed over the past couple of years. Her spark was gone. She didn't even tell me I was wearing too much black or that I was too pale - she rarely knew who I was anymore. I was merely just a friendly stranger who would visit, say "Love you, Omi" and kiss her on the cheek. Nothing more.

Sometimes the end is for the best, and we rely on the good memories to keep people alive. For me, I'll remember the times when I was little and she'd sing German songs. Or how she always let me hold the pretty crystal that I was so sure was worth a bajillion dollars. And I can't help but smile when I think of how she told me that I had to marry the Prince of Monaco (pronounced mo-NAH-co, of course), or maybe that nice-looking Leonardo DiCaprio boy because he visited his German grandmother every weekend. She also liked to ask if I had posters of Rick Springfield up on my wall, and if I was yet dating my fun (also gay, though she begged to differ) friend Kevan.

It's these memories that I'll hold onto.


Rest in peace, Omi.

18 comments:

Tristan said...

I'm sorry about your loss, Kris. Really nice post, though. It's a great tribute to her memory.

Kris said...

Thanks Tristan.

Bill said...

So sorry to read this. Your words are amazing though. Memories are an amazing things for us to have. Take care of yourself.

Nick said...

One of the great things about the people we love is not just what they do when they're around, but the memories they leave us with, and the effect they continue to have on us when they're gone.

I think that's something we can always be grateful for, and maybe the greatest way we can pay tribute to them. This post is a perfect example of that.

Somewhere, she's smiling thinking of how you feel. :)

Kris said...

Thanks guys. I appreciate your words, a lot.

Kris said...

...and for the record - I never married the Prince of Mo-NAH-co, and didn't have Rick Springfield posters on my wall. But maybe I'll put one up now.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful. A sweet and honest tribute that I am sure she would love.

Kris said...

Thanks, anon.

Drew said...

Beautiful post Kris :)

It is always the things our loved ones will never do again that we miss the most.

Life is a fragile thing
And it can change within an instant
Nothing is safe from the effects of change
No person or possession we're given
The only things we can hold forever
Are the memories in our hearts
The loves we share upon this earth
Before it comes our time to part
(a small snippet of a poem a friend sent to me when I lost Hector)

My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

Dave said...

My condolences to you and your family...

Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson

Dave

Kris said...

Thanks for the lovely words, Drew and Dave.

Alyson said...

Sorry for your loss doll, this was a really sweet tribute post. I'll drink a beer for you tonight and will be sending you mucho love from the prairies.

Kris said...

Thank you, my prairie girl

k said...

Sorry about your grandmother. I commiserate. My last living grandparent is pretty much day to day right now as well and it's only been two months since her son unexpectedly was diagnosed and rapidly succumbed to cancer. Rough to watch the older echelons of your family drop off.To make an unhappy reality even more difficult, an aunt and uncle of mine live in an apt. building my grandmother own and would like to keep doing so. Understandable since they've never been burdened with things like electric bills, rent or propery taxes but their other siblings don't quite see eye to eye with handing over their chunk of a seven figure property. It's going to be interesting. Again, sorry for your loss.

Kris said...

Sorry to hear about all that, k. Can't be easy.

ghost said...

she sounds like a pretty good omi to me. and you have the honor of carrying her with you and passing her on to your eventual progeny.

Kris said...

I'm the last person with my last name... might have to pass that along to my eventual progeny as well.

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