Monday, April 30, 2012

Cuz Everyday Is Halloween

Saturday was Halloween.

Ok, so it was Half Halloween. Cuz why should Halloween only happen once a year? That's just crazytalk.

And so, there was a Half Halloween party at the Firkin on King, complete with karaoke.

I left my costume to the last minute, because that's what I do. But in the end, it became pretty easy.

The two dudes in my Half-oween posse went as half of the awesome Channel 4 News Team:

Brian Fantana/ Ron Burgundy (yes, he was both).

And Brick Tamland, complete with banana.

And so, my costume was easy.

I was Lamp.

Papa Burgs wore suits so fine, they made Sinatra look like a hobo.

Where'd you get your costume? The Toilet Store?

Brick also loves banana.

This just in: Rye is delicious.

And that is a Hannah Montana microphone. Only the best for this team.

Ever seen a lamp karaoke?

How about a lamp karaoke-ing with a banana?

Oh, the potassium. 


This shit is bananas.

It would be inappropriate for the Channel 4 News Team to not sing Afternoon Delight. And so they did. And it was glorious.

Super duper, Team! 

Can't pay homage to the Leg Lamp without the fishnets.

Hey, look! It's Chris!

Because it's a small world after all, my friends.

Happy Half Halloween!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

We Both Erupt In Colours, Then Carve Out Our Names

Video blog time, yet again.

This time it's all about (attempted) rapid-fire questions. We're talkin' Mario & Luigi, tripods, dating, horse asses, zee Germans, the DAS (Daisy Approval System), and the winner of the Doritos JACKED giveaway.

I edited this sucker down, so it's not a bajillion minutes this time. See? I care. Sorta.

Til next time... be good, my li'l hosers.

[Main background song by Mike Bolt of From the Bridge and Seas]

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Lovers, The Dreamers, & Me

Finally watched the latest Muppet movie over the weekend. Considering my love for Jason Segel and all things Muppets (it's a must in my family), I'm surprised it took me so long.

Kermit did not disappoint. And, of course, they included one thing that turns me into a blubbering idiot.

The Rainbow Connection.

I can't listen to this song without, at the very least, tearing up slightly. In the past, musician friends have played it for me just to see me freak out and turn into a mess. It never fails.

If you don't know the song, please... rectify that. Everyone needs to. It's some kinda magic.

And to continue along with awesome tunes, here's another one you need to hear.

It's no secret that I'm proud of all the ass-kicking talent that comes out of the Niagara region (in case you didn't know, that's where this chick was born 'n bred). This particular band absolutely blew me away the first time I ever saw them at the Mansion House in St. Catharines. You've gotta go see 'em live and hear her voice in person - it rivals any of the classic rock hard-hitters that have always been my favourite.

And hell... Nick (the guitarist) and I have the same girlfriend. I learned to share in kindergarten, so he's lucky. For now.

Serena Pryne & The Mandevilles - if you have the chance to see them, you must:

For those of you that, for some reason, seem to give a shit about what music I'm listening to, I post a Song o' The Day over on my business' Twitter account:

Who am I kidding... I also post random videos on my other twitter account as well, so follow the batshittery if yer into that:

Hope you don't have a case of the Mondays. But did you finish your TPS report?

Friday, April 20, 2012

In The Bars With The Men Who Play Guitars, Singin', Drinkin', & Remembering The Times

I've always been pretty open about sharing my awkwardness with you folks.

I kinda sorta almost totally forgot about my first video post in 2010 where I showcased my awkwardness front & centre in order to learn how to get over it. Two years of video blogs later, and I'm still being awkward for you on a semi-regular basis.

Well, why stop now?

I wasn't going to post this. A couple of friends said I should, but I was pretty adamant in my refusal. Watching it makes me physically cringe. But... I guess I changed my mind, and want you to cringe along with me.

Awhile back I was perusing Craigslist as I do, and I saw an ad looking for someone with a "passion for music" to host a music-related webseries. They wanted a quick video explaining why each applicant would be good for the job, so I went for it. Can't hurt, right?

This is what I submitted. It's awkward. Embarrassing. Not how I wanted the clip to turn out at ALL, but I entered anyway.

And before anyone asks, no - I never heard back from them.

But after re-watching this, I really can't blame 'em! Remind me to stop making stupid faces and talking funny. Thank you in advance.

Have a great Friday, ladies 'n gents! Stay awkward! (I know I will.)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

It Is By The Grace Of Me, You Never Learned What I Could See

I promised you a giveaway.

As most of my contests tend to be, it's food-related. I have a snacking addiction. So this Doritos contest is pretty fitting.

What I'm giving away is this big damn prize pack worth $100, packed with Doritos shtuff - namely, a lot of their new JACKED Smoky Chipotle BBQ chips that aren't yet in stores.

They have a fun promotion over on their Facebook page - as I mentioned in my last post, get in on that to win some prizes.

And get the MMAC (Micro Munchers Association of Canada) to release the new JACKED chips. The MMAC is against the new bigger chips. Oh, the fighting. The horror.

I've been eating them, and they're tasty. But I'll be honest... I'm a weakling when it comes to some flavours, so for me they're a bit.. oh what's the word...

Stefon, can you help me?

Yep. Spicy.

Which means normal people will love 'em.

So how do you win?

Leave a comment below, and/or on my Shambled Ramblings FB page, and tell me what gets you friggin' jacked. Not just regular jacked. FRIGGIN' JACKED.

See? Look how friggin' jacked I am.

This jacked weakling wishes you all good luck; now entertain me with your stories of jack-age.

Monday, April 16, 2012

In My Head You're All Brand New

The other day I was walking Daisy around the 'hood as I do, with my earphones in as usual.

An old man came up and said "young lady!", so I took out one of the earphones and turned to speak to him.

The man was British, and very nice - he first let me know that he wasn't a weirdo, and owned a local business that I recognized. He just wanted to find out why a "lovely young lady" (gosh, thanks mister!) like me needed to keep those darn things in my ears all the time. Didn't I hear about the girl in Port Credit who couldn't hear the train coming and was sadly killed?

Yes, I did. But I explained that I enjoy my walks with my dog, and like having some background music to make them that much better. It's never overly loud, I can hear everything around me - birds chirping, kids playing, cars going by... As I pointed out to him, "I heard you when you spoke to me, didn't I?" He laughed.

I must ponder the volume of my music. Nope, not loud enough.

He said I should just listen to nature, unless I was listening to opera. For some reason, that was ok.

"What are you listening to? Is it opera?" he asked.

"Umm... it's a band called the Deftones." I answered, just as Chino decided to scream through the earphones dangling around my neck. Such timing.

"Bah", the man said. "Well, you have a wonderful day, young lady."

"You too!" I said as I put the earphones back in my ears. And though it was a particularly heavy song, I could still hear that old man whistling as he walked away.

So, what are your views on the subject?  Are earphones dangerous, or do you wear them everywhere? And if you're always listening to music (like me), is it always quiet enough to hear what's going on around you?

I require your opinions, cuz we're friends 'n stuff 'n junk.

[On a completely unrelated topic, I'll  be having another giveaway here in the next little while - but in the meantime, head over to and fight the MMAC to win some prizes... like a car you can drive me around in. I've got errands to run, man!]

Friday, April 13, 2012

Let's Go Dancing On The Backs Of The Bruised

Another Formspring question from Justin. Cuz I said so.

Your blog is being dumb and won't let me comment so I'll ask here. How many band shirts do you own and which one is your favourite?

My blog does indeed fail to live up to normal standards of intelligence, yes. But what it lacks in brainpower, it more than makes up for in... um... beer references? Ah, nevermind.

Band tshirts. Yes. I've done a couple of posts about my band tshirts when people randomly asked before (like this awkward post from 2008), but I've unearthed more long-forgotten shirts so I'd say your question is pretty timely.

Just a few of 'em, looking washed-out...

I don't know exactly how many I have. I think it's around 17 or 18 at the moment. Haven't bought any in a long time, but somehow random ones keep falling into my music-lovin' lap. I'm like the Goodwill dropbox for band shirts.

My favourite? Maybe my Alice in Chains one. It took me forever to find one in a chick size, and it's now all faded and sad. But I still love it. Also, my super old Red Hot Chilli Peppers shirt (originally my sister's), because I loved that logo. It, too, is completely falling apart. In an odd way, it's like losing a friend I've had for 25 years.

Speaking of bands (awesome segue!), don't forget that tonight I'm gonna be at Velvet Underground with Bob spinning some of the luvverly bands on my tshirts. It's gonna be a damn good night. All the info is here.

See ya tonight!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

I'm Lost Behind Words I'll Never Find

Hit the Jays game with Jays FanBoy (Or JFB) last night.

A win. Boom.

Likely a little-known fact that I'm a huge Jose Calderon fan. (Yes, he's a Raptor. Yes, I watch basketball. And yes, this was a baseball game.) He threw the first pitch, so maybe JFB wasn't the only person getting uber-fan about everything.

Two Joses I dig in one location. Not too shabby.

And to the dude who ran on the field, stripped, then got pinned by security....

Wayta leave your gitch on.

In other news, you now have plans this Friday.

Bob and I are back at Velvet Underground for Friday the 13th, and it's gonna be another good one.

Get over to the event page, click 'attending', & you're guestlisted.

Last time was a whole lotta fun (lemme jog yer memories) - this time will be no exception.

Spend your Friday the 13th with me - I'll be nice. I promise.

Monday, April 9, 2012

And Wanting You To Reach Out From The Dark, To Wake Up From The Cold

Reliability has always been a hugely important thing to me.

In the past few years it has become even more important, especially when it comes to the people I choose to spend my time with. I've realized more and more that I simply cannot hold onto those who continually let me down, or are unreliable. So I've done some purging. Friend purging, as it were.

I'ma purge ya.
Learning that the people you've always been there for are actually "fair-weather friends" can be a disappointing wake-up call. You're there when they  need you - when you need them, they're not around. Ever. They ditch you. Stand you up. Never come through when they say they will. Y'know... they suck.

So, to those people who fit this description, I stopped bothering. They've been downgraded from "close friend" to acquaintance, likely without even realizing it. This blog post won't even ring any bells to them because they won't be reading it.

Chick's best friend.
I have close friends that I rarely talk to, some I haven't seen in a very, very long time due to distance or circumstance. But I know that no matter what, they're my friends. Because real friends are real friends. So simple, it's almost stupid.

The important things are important.
So let's call this post a shout-out to my awesome friends, no matter where they are. I appreciate the hell outta ya.

And to those who have been downgraded... not a huge loss, right? Right.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

I'm Just Another Gear In This Assembly Line

It's Saturday. I'm tired. And busy.

So in the interest of useless posts, I thought I'd share a short li'l story that I was reminded of earlier.

Awhile back, I was out with some friends (and strangers) and mentioned that I had to go walk the baby - meaning, of course, Daisy. I call her many, many things. Nicknames range from "porcupine" to "pig of hatred", so "baby" is a pretty tame and rather normal one, considering.

A certain stranger didn't particularly like that I referred to my dog as my baby, because it was so incorrect. "She's not your baby. She didn't come out of your vagina, dude." Surely, I cannot argue with that logic. He was so adamant about it that I just let it go. Obviously he felt strongly on the subject, and I didn't really feel like discussing vaginas at that point. I also didn't bring up the irony that he ended his argument by calling me "dude". Too easy.

However... about 5 minutes later, he referred to his poor girlfriend as "baby". (I believe it was a "Hey, baby can you go buy me a beer?", possibly with a smack to said girlfriend's ass.)

So I did what any normal person would do. 

I congratulated him on his child, and asked to see his vagina.

Happy long weekend, porcupines!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I Can Turn On Anyone, Just Like I Turned On You

Y'know I'm too busy with work to think of my own topics when I start filling le blog with special questions from Masuka. But, from what I'm told, readers love their Masuka.

However... unless Axl Rose went through a change that I was not aware of, this one isn't even slightly boob-related. Imagine.

 Dear Kristen.. 

You're known as a knower of things rock and roll. This month, the rock & roll hall of fame will induct Guns 'n Roses in to its hallowed halls. 

Do you think they will reunite? Why or why not? ... If not, what do you think will happen? Riot? Fist fight between Slash and Axl? Will it be like a Beatles reunion -- an awesome idea but better if all the myth is left in place? 

Love, Masuka

Oh, GNR. S'cuse me while I go throw on my band tshirt and start whistling the beginning to Patience.

Appetite for Destruction is reason enough to get those monkeys into the HOF. I still love that album more than I care to speak about without sounding all fan-girly. So allow me to take this time to give a little clap for 'em.

Ok, done.

I actually read today that Axl and Izzy haven't confirmed that they will even be there for the induction. And Green Day will be the ones inducting the band. (Green Day? Really?)

At this point, I kinda doubt they'll reunite (Axl and Slash specifically). Slash says he wants to put the feud to rest, but they also both say they've pretty much disliked each other from the very beginning. That's a long time to hate someone.

When I saw GNR, I saw 'em with Buckethead. I dig Buckethead. The dude is awesome. But was it the same as seeing the band with Slash? Nope. So yeah, the long-time fan in me would love to see a real reunion (and one without Axl's stupid braids. Yeah, I said it.). But at this rate it won't happen until they're all bald, wrinkled and have added a banjo solo to Rocket Queen.

For the induction to the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame alone though, I think they should suck it up, swallow their aging rockstar prides and stand onstage together just this once. The fans don't give a shit if they hate each other (really - we don't), we just dig the tunes and would like to see them happily accept this recognition as a band. A full band. Don't think we've forgotten about the Chinese Democracy debacle, Axl. We have not. You owe us, dude.

Then again... what do I know. I'm just a chick with a band t-shirt and a GNR Living Room Dance Party.

And for the record... Duff & Izzy were my favourite anyway.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Did You Hear The Distant Lie Calling Me Back To My Sin

Well hello.

First thing's first - big high fives 'n hugs to everyone who came out to Velvet Underground on Friday. It was a good time, Bob played great tunes, and I didn't break my foot Elaine-dancing.

That's called a success.

Nuthin' like mixing and matching crazy groups of friends to create a hybrid of batshittery, right?

I'm still sorting through some pics, so if you don't see yourself here just keep yer pants on. They will be thrown up here or on Facebook somewhere.

Scavenger hunt for your drunken pics!

Masuka was there in the flesh (he DOES exist, guys.. and no, not the one in this pic), and was happily groped by the lovely ladies that showed up. The groper became the gropee, and not a complaint was heard from our resident perv.

Oh, Masuka.

So stay tuned, because we'll be doing it again soon.

I'll see you there... right? Right.

Hey, Mr. DJ! Thanks for the tunes!

Now to change topics completely....

As you know, this weirdo below (me) owns a li'l business called The MediaHaus.

At The MediaHaus, we dig contests. And right now we have one for those of you who own a business or brand.

What do you win? A short promotional animation tailored to your business, created and directed by our award-winning digital artist - completely free! Much like this one for 103.9 Proud FM:

Interested? All you have to do is 'like' us on Facebook, and email your business/brand name and logo to [For extra entries, you can also enter via Twitter. Tweet "Hey @TheMediaHaus, I want to get animated!" and email the info mentioned above]

So get on it, folks! Share with your business-owner friends if you think they should win. 


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